Fussy 4 year old driving me to tears

[dreamchocolate]

Ds will be 4 soon and has always been a fussy eater, despite my best attempts since he was small to give him a varied and interesting diet. I have tried so many different appoaches to his eating problem that I just don't know what to do now. I honestly think its a behaviour/attention thing rather than true dislike, although there is some genuine dislike to some foods too. The added problem is that his baby sister is on a dairy/egg/tomato free diet,so trying to find meals that they can both eat and like is almost impossible. The only thing they will both eat is rice and chicken.

For the past few weeks I've been taking the "if you don't want it then just leave it approach", he doesn't see me getting upset by it at all, but he leaves most of his food, goes to bed and then wakes at 5am really hungry.

I can't give him his main meal at lunchtime when he is less tired because he has to take a packed lunch to nursery.

It's really getting to me and I am exhausted by having to cook so many different meals. If anyone has any suggestions i would be eternally grateful.

p.s. I have tried involving him in cooking and choosing meals etc, but he just cooks then leaves it.
p.p.s he's not under weight and doesn't eat loads of snacks that fill him up

[wannaBe1974]

If your ds isn’t underweight then it’s likely that he is getting the right amount of food for his age. Try keeping a weekly diary of exactly what your ds eats (this includes all meals/snacks). You’ll probably be surprised what he actually is eating.

Don’t turn mealtimes into a battle ground. The more you fall out over it, the harder it will become. If he’s tired by the time tea time comes around can you bring it forward by half an hour? Or alternatively can you give him a snack mid afternoon to keep him going till teatime?

Try introducing new foods to him every couple of days, give him what he would normally eat, but put one piece of something else on his plate, one piece of carrot/broccoli/baby sweetcorn/vegetable of your choice, and introduce a reward system for trying that different type of food. It’s just one mouthful, trying it isn’t going to hurt him, and once he’s eaten it, say “it’s delicious isn’t it”. You may have to repeat this several times, children often have to be introduced to a new food several times before they’ll even try it, but persevere, and eventually you will get there.

Instead of biscuits/crisps/chocolate at snack times, give your ds healthy things like fruit. Dried fruit are especially good, you can buy dried pineapple/apricot/mixed dried fruits in the supermarket which come in very colourful packets so can be mistaken for sweets (devious mummy alert).

And chicken and rice, although frustrating, is much better than only wanting chicken nuggets and chips, good luck xx

[GDG]

Have you kept his portions reeealy small? That can help. I find all of my 3 (5, 3, and 1) like to eat little and often rather than 3 big meals a day so I find myself getting frustrated at tea time when they don't seem hungry but I think I overload their plates.

If you make sure you give him health snacks in between meals, you can go with just a small amount of evening meal and make it a small main course followed by yoghurt or fruit or something else. Maybe it's the big plate full of hot food that puts him off?

Hey, i wish I could take my own advice I know exactly how you feel! Luckily I'm working today and dh is managing tea - I'm not in the least bit envious!

[figroll]

My dd1 is extremely fussy with eating and always has been. We always tried to give her what she liked to eat, but included little bits of other foods, like tomato or sweetcorn. Then she got so used to seeing them on her plate, one day she ate them by accident.

We never ever ever talked about it because that makes them think that they are fussy eaters. I felt that was really important. We never even said "well done" when she ate something new, because I felt it made an issue of it. She went through a phase of eating near to nothing at all, but she was never hungry or miserable about it. She would just forget to eat. She is older now and still fussy, but she knows what she likes. She never eats between meals - just doesn't need to and is a naturally restrained eater (she is gorgeously thin too).

We have also been through the phase of cooking different meals, but this will end one day, so don't worry. She still won't eat anything that is mixed up = like curry or spag bolognaise. Try not to worry and just give him what he likes - if that means rice and chicken, give him rice and chicken with a spoonful of peas, or a spoonful of corn. I do feel for you, because I know I was worried sick - my dd2 by the way, will eat anything!

[DumbledoresGirl]

No advice to add beyond what has already been said, but I wanted you to know they do grow out of it. I have 4 children and they all went through a fussy stage at some point, but ds2 and dd were the worst. What you describe sounds very familiar to me. But when they reached about 5, the problems started to go away and now ds2 (who was the all-round fussiest of my children) is 8 and eats nice big portions of food. he still doesn't like fruit but I can get him to eat all sorts of vegetables that were previously no go areas. When he was 4, his diet was so poor and he ate so little, I gave him liquid vitamins for the whole winter to get him through.

Chin up! It will get better. You can't imagine your ds as a teenager not eating you out of house and home can you?

[dreamchocolate]

Thanks everyone

I think if I wrote down on a piece of paper everything he ate throughout a day a nutritionist would laugh in my face and say "what are you worried about?". He eats plenty of healthy cereals, fruits, etc, just not a main meal.

I will definitely try giving him tiny portions and not go on about whether he eats them or not. I know I've made the mistake of telling him his sister is a wonderful eater, I thought it would encourage him, but it's probably made things worse. I'll make a sticker chart and we'll take it from there. Fingers croseed he'll grow out of it.

By the way, yesterday he said "mummy, I don't like rice and chicken anymore". GRRRRR!!!!!!