My kids are spoilt how do i get rid of the toys and start again ?

[AngelaD]

We have a conservatory and a playroom and you can't move in their bedrooms either.
We have piles of books, pencil crayons everywhere, boardgames they've never touched and frankly it's doing my head in.
I know it is entirely my own fault, I had nothing as a child and wanted to give my children the moon and the stars.
However it's all come to a head today when they were fighting over a fcuking plastic bin. I sat and cried my eyes out that they have become so horrible and it's my own fault.
I just want to scoop everything up tonight whilst they are in bed and start again, maybe let them have 10 toys, was that what Supernanny did, I'm sure I saw that happen on one of the programmes ?
Any thoughts or advice welcome, I want change and am prepared to work at it to make it happen.

[LadySherlockofLGJ]

I have indoctrinated my DS from a very early age, that for every toy that comes into the house, he needs to give one to the poor children.

One in, one out.

If they have that much I really think you could remove stuff by stealth without them noticing.

[sparkler1]

I can sympathise with you. DDs have toys in each of their bedrooms (2), a toy room and stuff in our dining room. They still managed to spread it all throughout the house. It gets me down seeing the house in a constant mess and I am blue in the face telling them to clear it up.
I think the only way through it is to be strict and get rid of stacks of it.
I started yesterday in our dining room. That's where all their colouring/craft stuff is. I managed to clear one and a half black bags full and that's just from one small room.

[Clayhead]

I am so harsh, I remove it when they are asleep!

They are allowed to have downstairs what will fit in the cupboard and nothing else.

I always have a clear out before birthdays and Christmas so that they have space for any new stuff.

[hulababy]

Get some storage boxes, put some away and leave just a few out for now. Then every so often take those already out away, and replace them with those in your storage boxes.

If they argue or fight over a toy, give them a warning or two and if they continue, take it away and out it out of sight.

Have a cull of any that are broken or pieces missing and throw away.

Have a look for any that are now too young or not played with at all. Put them on ebay or MN to sell, or take them to a charity shop.

Having a lot of toys doesn't have to be a disaster. However you do need to ensure your children are not overwhelmed with choice, and that they appreciate those items they do have.

Get your children involved in sorting trhough toys.

Get boxes or shelves for the books, again after a cull of damaged/torn one, or ones that are too young for them. Old books in reasonable condition could go to a children's hospital or a doctors/dentist waiting room.

Fine storage for those items you do retain, and make your children tidy away once finished with, especially things like crayons or small items of toys.

[sparkler1]

Maybe get three boxes/bags. One bag for things that you know are their favourites and they play with a lot, another for things that you think they should keep but don't use as often and another for bin/charity shop. The one they don't use very often put away in loft or cupboard and swap it every few months so they feel like they have some new toys????

[Clayhead]

I put stuff in the loft and 'rotate' it too. When I get stuff down from the loft (and something else goes up!) dd and ds always react like it's something brand new and get dead excited.

[springerspaniel]

Clayhead - my friends do a similar thing except they swap toys temporarily with other friends. Works a treat.

[AngelaD]

But how do I change their attitude, I mean they are totally ungrateful, for example today they took a box of playdoh the youngest had been given for her birthday, opened all the little pots and mashed the colours all into one big brown mess and have left it in their toy oven thing. Now I understand they were making a cake but for godsake did they have to use all of it, what wrong with using one colour and keeping it all nice so they can use it again ?

[Greensleeves]

I think that's a bit harsh - children always mash playdoh/plasticine together and mess all the colours up, unless you explicitly prevent it by being involved when they're playing with it.

I agree with what others have said about rotating the toys though - it makes life easier for everyone.

[TwoToTango]

The Playdoh comment made me smile. My ds has has quite a few playdoh sets over the years and every single one now contains brown dough. It used to drive me made and I would try to keep all the colours in the right pots but it wasn't long before I admitted defeat!

[hulababy]

All of DD's playdoh is not mixed and merged together. I think that is par for the course TBH.

[fullmoonfish]

how old are your kids Angela?
I have similar outbursts from time to time. The kids help me srt out stuff theyd on't play with and we take it to charity shop/preschool whatever.
Now I make them 'earn' new toys (and it can take quite a while) or make them save up to buy from pocket money (mne are older I suspect)
They used to be spoilt, IMO, but I think I have started the reversal process in time :)

[niceglasses]

Murky sludgy playdough here......think it comes with age doesn't it??

[AngelaD]

Maybe i'm expecting too much then re playdoh, they are 5, 3 and 2
I think we'll have a good sort out and no new toys until their birthday, we're going away next week so it'll give me a chance to calm down aout the whole thing !

[brimfull]

I regularly through toys out.I use freecycle,or charity shops.It is so cleansing to get rid of stuff.I asked ds if he would mind if I gave away his little tykes car that someone gave him (he's 3) and he said no,instantly.Kids play much better if there is less to play with.

TRy freecycle it's so fab,I've off loaded loads of stuff.www.freecycle.org

[niceglasses]

Angela mine are exactly the same age as yours - 2 older boys and a girl. Now mine are a little on the mad scale but I no longer expect anything else re playdough...I think it will come one day.

Agree re toys btw I am having a long term purge. for a while we were in danger of moving out because of amnt of bleedin toys. Shameful really

[Skribble]

Just scanned thread but I don't think Suppernanny only allowed 10 toys IIRC it was that she punished them by removing up to 10 favourite toys and they could be earned back.

I agree a good clear out and orgainse the rest so that it can be found easily. Start putting in place a few ground rules about tidying up but things like the playdo mash is what happens and is perfectly normal.

DH always goes on about the kids having to many toys but they play with things every now and then and they are not spoiled.

If some toys are played with more than others try rotating so that other toys get a chance. With regard to the creative stuff make sure there is a suitible place for it to used and that the paper and pens etc are accesible.

Remember most young children don't value material things the way we do or the way we would like them too.

[threebob]

When they mashed all that playdoh together they learnt that if you mash together colours you get brown. That's science.

The felt the dough between their fingers and were soothed by it.

They developed the muscles they will need to write and draw.

They engaged in role play making a cake in their toy oven. They probably had conversations about it fostering their sibling relationships and their verbal development.

What a shame that all you saw was a mess.

[throckenholt]

sorry to say it - but that is what kids of that age do with playdoh unless they are very closely supervised. It does my head in too - that is why playdoh is kept on a very high shelf - and is only let out by my mum when she comes to visit (and I always have to clear up the mess ).

Agree with putting a lot of it away in boxes, and also try and have a tidy up time with them at the end of each day - like at school and playgroup - teach them to respect their toys, and help decide which ones should be thrown out because they have broken them.

[tigermoth]

If you really feel your children are spoilt, think about what you buy them when you are out together - do you buy them a toy to keep them quiet on shopping trips or buy something from gift shops every time you visit a museum or attraction?

If you think your children expect a constant flow of toys when they are out with you, put a stop to it now. Make a point of taking them to toy shops to look for what they want for next christmas or birthday, not to buy right now. Show them how to window shop and make sure they know that entering a shop does not mean they will be bought something. I have to do this with my sons, as given half a chance, they will fall into the habit of expecting stuff every time we go out.

[BudaBabe]

Our house is a bit the same. Playroom full. Overspill is in basement. More toys migrating to living room. And I only have one child!!

I clear out every so often but haven't gotten rid of anything completely as planning another baby hopefully and have younger nieces and nephews and friends who come to stay and it is handy to have toys for their age.

Went shopping to Vienna on Saturday where there is a Toys'R'Us (no good toyshops here in Budapest really) and bought DS a croquet set, a pull-along trailer and a Power Ranger figure. He kept saying "thank you Mummy for buying me such great things" so I think he was pleased!

DH then came up with a great idea for the trailer - it gets used by DS for tidying toys away from the living room - he loads all the toys up and brings them into the playroom where we put them away together. It has made the last two night much easier to tidy living room!

Also in favour of rotating toys as they do then seem like new again.

[Elibean]

Brown (or pukey green) playdough here too. Didn't know it came in any other colour, in fact

Very good to read tips about toy pruning - new baby on the way, and was wondering if there would be room for it never mind any more toys!

[Moomin]

way to make angela feel guilty, threebob! i see where you were coming from but sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees with kids.

it'd be luuuuuurvely if we could bask in the glow of our children's creative play at all times but most of the time life just ain't like that and we get overwhelmed by the mess, the noise and what we perceive to be ungratefulness from our kids.

the playdough thing is just par for the course. in fact it sounds like your kids are par for the course, angela! if they really were spoiled you wouldn't be worrying yourself with that fact, so it stands to reason that they're not! do a sort-out, have a cull and be a bit kinder to yourself.

[Moomin]

cull the toys, not the kids, mind you