Hi mamas and papas (heres my novel please read although lengthy i need advice)
In this post i am desperate so i am being brutally honest, if you are a "PERFECT PARENT" probablly best not to read as it might offend or create judgement.
I am a mother of three i have a four year old a three year old and a 6 month old, naturally i am busy as a mother of three boys studying full time and being a wife.
However i feel a little more busy than some mums. i have recently started on zoloft 100mg and psychologist visits as i am extremely depressed. some of my symptoms include not being happy to wake up each day not looking forward to my mummy working day, being terrified for hubby to go to work as i dont want to have to deal with another day of my three year old kane.
It all started when he was around age one we noticed behavioural issues but kept writing them off as "fazes" "terrible twos" "middle child" we kept working on strategies and differet techniques to improve kanes behavious we have literally tried everything under the sun (i feel)
recently we have noticed normal changes "jealousy" when bubby nathanael came along etc but things just seem to get worse when one behaviour ends another starts and it has me at breaking point. I dont confide in family or friends because i wont hear anyone speak a bad word about kane (he is our beautil boy) how ever i need some answers, asking on here is "not so personal" i suppose.
some of the behaviours kane has that we are having great difficulty with are as follows.
-Wont wear clothes
-very fussy with foods, will try and will chew but will spit out anywhere.
-Pooing anywhere and everywhere and then smearing it if left alone, squishing into his toys etc, (just this morning he climbed onto the bench and poo'd and wee'd on there.
-obsessed with keys (this morning he got my handbag and keys and jumped in the car like he was ready to go)
-Tantrums and screaming fits as soon as he wakes (some lasting for up to an hour)
-If he wants something his mind is set on it.
-Climbing things - if i say he canot have something in the fridge he will kick punch climb the handles hang of the doors etc]
-Can be very intelligent in certain aspects eg. Can unlock car and start it, he know which keys are for which car.
-Can not transition well from say bath time to hoping out bath and getting dressed. or home now lets hop out of car, or okay we ae going out now lets hop in car. he hates leaving places yet he hates going places, he hated hi car seat so we changed it and got a bigger more comfortable one, and still he hates being in the car, he refuses to get in the car on a trip and kicks and screams bloody murder the whole way, then when we get home and get out he refuses when i finally get everyone inside and get him out he will spend another 45 minutes out side trying to open the handles kicking punching the car and throwing himself on the ground while raging.
-I find he loves to irritate mummy and daddy, he will do things hes not allowed to or he will hit or bite us, we tried the whole( any attention is god attention - what kane wants) so we tried stopping everything we were doing and giving him the attention he so desires this still didnt work.
-His emotions are extremeeeeeeeeee especially RAGE AND SENSITIVITY.
- He picks all the time old sores new sores or he will just make a sore.
- He will throw objects for NO reason phones glasses remote toys
-- Mood can change in secondds and can turn into AN EPISODE.
- Nothing we do will calm kane down, we cant hug or touch him, we have tried time out we have tried spanking and warnings we have tried positive reinforcement etc and nothing.
-He wakes up continuously during the night sometimes for hours. sometimes its as if hes stuck between asleep and being awake and will have fits like hes terrified of mama and papa and will run away from us and scream etc.
- wer have changed his diet to completely organic incase it was an additive he was reacting to, this did not change anything.
-He is repetitive like he wont learn from being told no or why he cant do somethign, despite having enough to eat he will continuously climb into pantry and fridge and freezer we could go back and forth 1000 times he is very head strong i often give up.
- i can clean his poo 3-4 times daily from anywhere and everywhere, he will NOt toilet train (toilet or potty) not even for daycare.
- He does not like to socialize or interact.
-Simply looking at him or saying no or talking to him can set him off into an "episode"
-He can be very cilingy but can also be very quiet and into what hes doing.
-he has a remote control car but wont drive it instead he will turn it upside down and just play with the wheels watching them go around and around.
-Hates doors being closed
-Doesnt learn simple things ie. we have a gravel driveway he constantly runs down and complains of sore feet but will not put shoes on.
Any help will be greatly appreciated.