Our son is a lovely 2.4 year old. I want to strike a balance between a supportive parenting style whilst still having clear boundaries. When he tantrums I don't want to abandon him to being hysterical as I feel like he doesn't understand and loses the ability to calm down and needs support. I want to convey that I will not give in, but I am sorry your frustrated and I'm here to help you through these feelings kind of thing.
So our toddler had a major meltdown in the mall the other day. He was playing with a train table in a store. I warned him incrementally that we would be leaving in 10min, 5min, 2 min etc and when the time came tried to distract him with a snack in his pushchair but to no avail. Cue screaming and hitting.
- My DH carried him out of the store but was getting hit in the head so I told him to put DS in a quiet corner (as much as is possible in a mall) as I felt we couldn't just ignore the hitting and allow it to continue.
- My son was hysterical - truely screaming, banging his head occasionally, lying on the floor kicking. I got down on his level and advised him I'm sorry he is frustrated but we do not hit. I several times repeated what he wanted so he knew I understood and there wasn't a communication barrier - that I heard him (something I heard Harvey Karp recommend). I then rubbed him on the back and encouraged him to calm down, offered him a hug and more or less waited it out.
- It took some time and several people felt the need to make bone-head comments as they passed us which was embarassing. We finally were able to distract him to a degree and continued walking.
I guess I just wonder if this is what other people do at this age. I could see people criticizing me for paying him attention and thereby extending the length of the tantrum but then how can I play that supportive role if ignoring IYKWIM?
Thoughts or strategy suggestions?