I feel guilty my 17 month old loves tv so much

(76 Posts)
Cupcakemummy85 Mon 17-Dec-12 22:28:28

I feel so guilty about this and don't have a go at me all at once lol but my dd loves watch tv. Mainly peppa pig and Ben and holly. I try and make sure we r out once a day but I'm 32 weeks pregn and starting to feel rather tired now. My friends say don't worry it's fine but I can't help feeling bad especially when my dd has a massive tantrum after I switch her programme off. It's not all day she watches it but a bit in the morning and afternoon. My dp puts her programmes on for her all the time, even when I ask him to play with her. I feel like I'm going to loose sleep over this. I've got so many things to worry about with her, not sleeping through, not eating too well and now telly addiction :s if I don't have it on she sits by the gate to the kitchen and screams whilst I'm making a coffee or something like that. This evening I even read her favourite book 20 times (litreally!!) so she wouldbt watch tv. Lol am I really doing a bad thing by letting her watch tv. Please tell me it's not that bad :/

ellee Mon 17-Dec-12 22:57:21

Arra I don't think it's that bad, mine used to love ben & holly and peppa pig. I quite like em myself! Love the fish that doesn't talk "cause he's a fish" on pp, tee hee, makes me laugh smile. V hard to keep it all going with no tv, fair play to those who manage it but I'm afraid I'm not that mum! I do watch the shows with them a bit, talk about what's happeneing etc but sometimes I just have a coffee.

You could vary it a bit, I got a dvd of songs on amazon and my two really like that too.

By the way I think v fe toddlers eat that well. All you can do is offer the food and cut out snacks. After that, it's up to them.

Sleeping is harder, how old are we talking? How bad is it?

doughnut44 Mon 17-Dec-12 23:20:41

Don't feel guilty - they learn a lot from the tv. I try to make sure its turned off when they are playing - no need for background noise.
Also try not to let her watch the same things over and over - yes they do like the repetition but they also need new things for stimulation.
How about doing some tv programme related things? Print some peppa pig pics off the milkshake website - will she play with figures and re-enact what she has seen? The comics are really good too and sticker books

ZuleikaD Tue 18-Dec-12 12:31:24

Of course she loves it. Turn it off - she doesn't need it.

Satine5 Tue 18-Dec-12 12:35:16

It seems like you feel like you are loosing control over her tv watching. How about having a planned daily limit and sticking to it, despite protests? Your DD will soon get used to it if she know, e.g. she can watch one episode of peppa, one ben and holly etc. I ditto doughnut44, figures and stickers etc all the way. My DD loves playing with ITNG toys, she makes up stories with them, reads them books etc-very cute! TV is not all that bad, but I think limiting it a bit will make you feel better. Good luck!

Satine5 Tue 18-Dec-12 12:36:52

BTW, my DD still doesn't sleep through at 16 months, I feel your pain! shock

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 12:39:06

It's easier said than done in fairness zuleikaD she is going through a very clingy phase which she never went through before and cries everytime I go into the kitchen to cook dinner etc. ever tried cooking dinner with toddler screaming whilst rig 32 weeks pregnant and not breaking down crying? Well if u have then u r super mum! Lol I really do admire the mums than can do it all and have no tv but I just can't do it. I have to be able to sit down and chill for five mins.
I definitely like the idea of doing the stickers and drawings of the characters. My dd doesn't really like colouring or painting. Any ideas on how I can get her interested in it?
I do feel better now u guys have kindly replied and said its not that bad. I was pretty worried but it's not all day, it's just when we aren't doing anything and she doesn't want to play. She has started walking so we can finally do some playing in the garden (got the waterproofs out ha ha).

Don't worry. We own a TV, DH & I watch TV, DD watches TV. It's not on all the time.
She enjoys reading, craft, cooking, helping me & playing too!
My rule is that we have it on if we're watching it, not as a background noise.
DD hardly ever asks for it on now, she's 3.7!
If you're worried & your LO moans to have it on, maybe try to do some activities away from the room with the TV in?
She's not too little to be given a duster & asked to help Mummy. I've always found that a good distraction grin.
Cut yourself some slack, I'm 37 weeks pg & I'm happy to put it on & put my feet up to entertain me, nevermind DD!!

Indith Tue 18-Dec-12 12:44:35

Oh feel your pain. It is so hard when pregnant with a toddler. My bigger ones have always ended up watching too much TV when I was in the final weeks of pregnancy and then when the baby was tiny. I felt bad but I knew we could get over it later.

When it came to getting over it we went cold turkey. Cold turkey was the only way. I unplugged the TV at the socket so when they pushed the button nothing happened. The first day is painful but after 2 days they forget about it and after a little while you can reintroduce it.

I found recording stuff best if you can do that then when it gets to the end it just stops with a blank screen rather than starting the next programme and resulting in a tantrum when you switch it off.

Don't feel too bad though, you will most likely rely on TV when feeding the baby for a few weeks.

Satine5 Tue 18-Dec-12 12:45:30

Try aquadoodle for painting-no mess and she will get into it quckly! I often just sit and draw for DD and she enjoys it too smile.
Id she likes stickers, get her a peppa sticker/magnet magazine or book
http://www.whsmith.co.uk/Products/Peppa-Pig-Marvellous-Magnet-Book-Peppa-Pig+Board-book+9781409301769

I hate to sound a negative note and I do understand how difficult it must be but there are studies showing that when under 3's watch lots of TV it can have a negative effect on their development www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/oct/09/ban-under-threes-watching-television

Can you gradually reduce the times she spends watching until it is only being watched at absolutely critical times ( like when cooking evening meal). Can you do a few exciting pre-Christmas activities to distract her in the mornings. With a young child it shouldn't take too long to break the pattern so that she no longer expects to watch as much TV.

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:03:12

I've just read the article u have posted and although I understand I'm not sure i completely agree with it. My dd doesn't sit their and watch it for the whole day she watches a few episodes and then hands me her favourite book to read or something like that.
In regards to craft. We do crafts at the play group we go to and my dd doesn't want to know. I end up doing and she takes the credit ;) she seems just to want to eat the crayons or paint etc so how can I encourage her and help her understand how to do it. I tried drawing Christmas pictures and she walked off and I ended up enjoying it and drew quite a few pics lol. I thought perhaps make gingerbread and let her cut it out but I just can't see it happening. Is it too much for a 17 month old?

givemeaclue Tue 18-Dec-12 13:07:39

How much time daily all together does she watch it?

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Tue 18-Dec-12 13:13:15

I think you're right to be worried about such a young toddler watching so much television.

If you're struggling to cook and look after her, batch cook so that you have only to heat things up while she is demanding your attention.

She really shouldn't be watching TV at all at her age. Certainly not several times a day, every day.

Abra1d Tue 18-Dec-12 13:16:21

Both mine liked television, especially my eldest. He must have watched several hours a day as a toddler.

He is now, aged 16, a bookworm. Very keen on ancient history. Studying Latin at school. Also keen on sport and loves nothing better than a big family get-together.

I wouldn't be too worried. In the article linked to, it also says of the man whose research this is:

"Aric Sigman does not appear to have any academic or clinical position, or to have done any original research on this topic," she said. "His comments about impact of screen time on brain development and empathy seem speculative in my opinion, and the arguments that he makes could equally well be used to conclude that children should not read books."

Don't feel too bad, I have been there, but I found I had to be very creative to avoid putting the TV on. MIne have a little TV in the morning before breakfast, and a little at quiet time. I had 17 months between my first two, then 2 years and now 27 weeks pg with DS4. I found the best thing was to actually involve them when I am cooking, even from a very early age. I have never banned them from the kitchen, but put a lock on all cupboards except one which they could go into (basically the one with plastic things in) and I have cooker hob protectors on teh oven. They have all loved to bash saucepans whilst I cook, or I tend to get their high chair right next to the work top and just give them lots of things to play with from kitchen drawers. Usually I give the little one his own bowl to mix in and then things out of the drawer like measurers etc....thats an easy 20 minutes of happiness for them. They also like to see the ingredients and stir (mostly going over teh worksurface!) which helps stop them being so fussy when they are given the finished product to eat. Now I have the opposite problem that I have 3 boys all desperately wanting to "help" me which makes it MUCH harder to actually cook!
Mine from an early age have also been happy doing colouring etc whilst I do a bit of cooking. I ahve also had the utter clinginess of child not wanting to be put down so I do know what you are going through! And I have definitely resorted to TV when I need to!
Peppa Pig etc won't hurt and I have to admit that I actually find it quite funny. Its the mindless Nick Jr Disney stuff that I don't really like.

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:24:54

She probably watches few episodes which is ten mins long. I'd say an hour max but the tv is on in the back ground for me or my dh. I can't stop him from watching it. We do go out and do things nearly everyday which isn't easy being pregnant and having a toddler that has only just started walking.
Perhaps merely saying its not good might not be the most helpful thing. I could do with a few suggestions of what kinds of things I could do with her rather than 'tv is bad'
I don't think peppa pig will turn her into a social devient or a nasty person. She is an early talker so it hasn't done her that much harm. I guess I was just worried as I know when the next baby comes she might b watching a bit more. I'm trying best.

Oh and ginger bread - I have done it with very little ones. mostly my 20 month old likes to play with cookie dough, so its more about trying new things and feeling the textures rather than actually creating something. how about playdough? You can make your own quite cheaply and then they can just play with it and make shapes etc.....

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:26:56

Actually maybe she might watch a bit more it varies different days.

SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus Tue 18-Dec-12 13:27:48

I've started letting DS watch a lot of TV just now, he's 14.5 months and I am pregnant too, earlyish pg though and the tiredness is killing me.

DP is the same too, I don't think he gets the whole "play" thing very well. Don't stress about it too much, there's always time to cut it down and/or you could buy the Baby Einstein DVDs so she is watching something educational?

Indith Tue 18-Dec-12 13:27:52

It is a difficult age to cope with at teh best of times, when tired and pregnant it is torture! She is little so while some kids can scribble for hours at her age some are not at all interested in craft. Gingerbread should be good though, even my craft hating boy loved cutting out biscuits at that age. You can make some playdough too and let her mess around with cutters and a little rolling pin with that.

Playdough- 1 cup flour, 1 cup water, half cup salt, 1tbsp oil and 1tbsp cream of tartar. Mix it in a pan and cook it and stir until done, when cooled a little knead it. Or mix in a bowl and microwave in 30 second bursts giving a stir in between. You want to cook it until no longer sticky. You can add a few drops of food colouring if you like before cooking or knead it in afterwards (you could let her do that).

Start getting her used to playing herself (important skill before baby comes) by maybe starting to build a duplo tower with her and then telling her to keep going and see how high she can go while you pop the oven on for dinner. Or start a dolly tea party and leave her for 5 mins to carry on herself. Gradually leave her for longer but tbh while some kids potter round happily some don't but even if you only get 5 min bursts you can plan your dinners a bit and chop veg in morning 5 mins so it is ready to bung into a dish later.

Indith Tue 18-Dec-12 13:29:24

Oh and bread dough! If you make pizzas or something make your own dough, mine LOVE playing with it. 10 mins of a child playing with the dough is a pretty good kneading technique!

IWillOnlyEatBeans Tue 18-Dec-12 13:29:28

If you want to get your LO interested in crafts, try drawing pictures of Peppa etc. My DS is 2.10 and loves nothing better than asking me to draw pictures of Mummy Pig and Miss Rabbit (both pregnant, for some reason!) and then colouring them in. He doesn't even watch Peppa that much!

I am also a SAHM and am 39.5 weeks pregnant. I don't worry at all about DS watching TV. I need a break from charging around/lying on the floor playing cars/running after DS on his scooter. DS needs a break from me being narky.

I remember a paediatrician telling me that children under 18 mos should not watch any tv at all. Her daughter didn't. However, her daughter was at nursery 5 days per week. I can imagine she'd think slightly differently if she was at home with her all day...

If you feel uncomfortable then I agree with putting some time limits in place. DS gets to watch some Cbeebies after lunch (if we are not going out) while I tidy up, and again after tea, while I tidy up again.

SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus Tue 18-Dec-12 13:29:39

Oh, Stealth I filled a bowl with marshmallow fluff and put DS on the changing mat and covered it in clingfilm, it was hilarious and he loved it, especially when it started hardening and his hands were stuck to his thighs!

Another good one is that fake snow you put water in and it becomes like actual snow. grin

givemeaclue Tue 18-Dec-12 13:32:31

I would turn off the background tv and limit her screen time to

2 x 30 mins per day. Put a timer on, when it goes off its time for a story etc.

I wouldn't use tv as background noise. Yes you can ask dh to turn it off -is he off sick or something?

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