PLEASE HELP - INCONSOLABLE TWO YEAR OLD DD1!!

[CaptainDippy]

Recently my DD1 has these mad fits where she just cries and cries and cries and screams and screams and screams - She she goes all floppy and lies on the floor and no one can console her. They can last for up to two hours and I am just completely at loss. I can feel myself start to get and I just cannot cope with it. She is having one at the moment, Dh and I have tried everything to calm her down and we just don't know. It is ruining my life. Help!!

[colditz]

Put her on the sofa, and walk off. This sounds very much like a tantrum, and tantrums are made worse by attention and an audience. Go in the next room, and busy yourselves (while still keeping an eye, obviously)

[colditz]

BTW it is very very normal for her age group.

[emily05]

when they go floppy usually because they have tired themselves out! I agree with colditz completely. ignore it.

[PrettyCandles]

Colditz has said it.

You need to tough it out.

If this sounds a little harsh to you, read The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers, by Tracy Hogg.

[PrettyCandles]

Actually, I would leave her on the floor - she can't fall off it.

[Easy]

The more you try to calm her, the more she'll go on.

Make sure she's somewhere safe (can't fall off the floor, move anything that might be pulled over on top of her) then tell her you'll come back when she's quiet and calm. Then GO AWAY (obviously listen out, but don't let her know you're around).

Only go back to her when she's calm, and if she starts again, then go away again.

I think they get to the point where they don't know how to stop, and have to be left to cry it out. DS used to fall asleep in the middle of the hall after his bouts.

[CaptainDippy]

Will do, but seriously, this could go on for hours and hours and hours - She is suddenly absolutely fine again and then she starts up again without any warning whatsoever. The slightest little thing sets her off. It is different behaviour to when she has a tantrum - like she is completely over-whelmed. When she has a tantrum it is easier to deal with and is over within the hour.

[CaptainDippy]

It makes me feel like she hates me - she's playing happily with DH atm.

[PrettyCandles]

She doesn't hate you. At worst she is flexing her muscles and learnign to control her environment. But she isn't sophisticated enough to understand the consequences of her actions. The only consequence she sees is that Mummy and Daddy bend over backwards to please her.

Treat it like a tantrum. Walk away from this behaviour. Withdraw attention. Don't let either you or your dh show any frazzle. As far as your dd is concerned, this behaviour just doesn't bother you - it actually bores you.

[CaptainDippy]

I know!! It's just tough, espceially when you've got crazy little DD2 (8 months) crawling under your feet, demnding your attention too - DD1 keeps taking out all her "anger" on DD2 as well. Argh!!

[Mud]

tantrum definitely
just a different kind
ignore ignore ignore

[CaptainDippy]

Ignored!!

[waterfalls]

If your DD2 si being well behaves at the time, give her your attention, dd1 will eventually realise that the good behaviour gets the attention, this is what I do if one of my dt is playing up, and now the tantrums dont last long

[CaptainDippy]

Not sure what "well behaved" means in an 8 month old, especially not one as mental as mine!! If I give attention to DD2 then DD1 one gets more jealous and jumps on me and hits me and DD2 - It doesn't work. Too close in age.