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Behaviour/development

My little boy has started biting me and dad help

11 replies

ditsymum · 31/10/2003 15:41

My DS turned one last week and has started to bite me and my husband. He is not doing it at nursery just at home, us and the furniture are getting it big time. I have tried playing with him all of the time thinking he was just attention seeking but he still bit me.

I do not want to stop the cuddles but he is just looking for something to bite.

I have tried ignoring him and that has not worked and I am scared that I loose my temper and smack him.

Help what should I do next?

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ditsymum · 31/10/2003 15:42

We have tried telling him that it is naughty as well to no avail

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naughtynoonoo · 31/10/2003 15:44

My dd done this for a little while, I think it is a thing they go through, maybe it is their teeth coming through, she hasn't done it in ages though and she is 2 now....hopefully he will stop soon.

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Blu · 31/10/2003 15:59

My DS did that at that age, too. I just used to put him down, or away from me, immediately but calmly and fimly, and he stopped very quickly. Not as an extended 'time out' thing, they're too young for that, just cause and effect: you bite you put down or on other side of room. And try not to react by shouting if he does manage to bite, it's very entertaining for them! Good luck.

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aloha · 31/10/2003 16:34

BLu is right - that does work - it did for us. Either put him down and walk away with no eyecontact or just put him out of the room briefly and shut the door on him. You have to do it the instant he bites and every single time he bites - it's basically aversion therapy, not punishment. Ie biting = no attention. Remember he has no idea it hurts and it's not personal. At the moment he seems to be rewarded for biting, which will confuse him. I think it often happens with teething or if a child is hungry and ds bit when he got over excited or just felt particularly loving (as in "ooh, I could eat you!". Also try to anticipate the biting - the gesture, the lunge or the look in his eye that indicates he will bite, and stop him. My ds grew out of it quite quickly. It is just a phase.

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susanmt · 31/10/2003 17:38

Can I just back up what Blu and aloha have said - my ds, who is 20 months, did this for a few days at around 18 months but just putting him down as soon as he did it stopped it within days.
We also taught him to rub noses when he wasn't in biting mood, and encouraged that, so he has another way of showing affection - though the amount of bogies on my face recently has kind of put me off him doing that too!

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honeybunny · 03/11/2003 14:03

ds2 is a biter. Initially it coincided with some major teething and soon passed, but now he does it to ds1 if they fight over a toy. He's drawn blood at times. He's never done it to another child, fortunately, but ds1 will not retaliate so I sometimes feel that ds2 "gets away with it". We use the naughty step for time out and to give ds1 lots of attention. ds2 has learnt to kiss and say sorry. Its becoming less frequent now (ds2is 18.5mo)in anger, but I get the odd nip of affection, but this is still met with a firm "no" and immediate put down from the cuddle.

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Enid · 03/11/2003 14:09

My dd2 has just turned one and she does this too, I didn't know what it was at first, I thought a pin had stuck in me!

I put her down and say no. I had to do this when she kept grabbing my glasses and she learnt really quickly - within a couple of days. Trouble is, I don't think she realises that shes biting so she's a bit confused at the mo, poor lamb.

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aloha · 03/11/2003 15:17

Susanmt LOL re the bogies - me too!

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ditsymum · 05/11/2003 13:42

thanks for the advice I think putting him down with a firm no an dleaving him for a few moments with no attention has worked

fingers crossed

And I am also scrapping off bogies oh the joys of being a mum

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Blu · 05/11/2003 13:48

WEll done, D'mum! This is such a common problem that I'm surprised it isn't covered routinely in books.

I did sympathise with your original post: the only time I have smacked DS was as a reflex response to him biting me very painfully...the shame has remained painful ever since.

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throckenholt · 06/11/2003 07:48

my boy had a lovely habit of coming up behind you, clasping both arms around your legs - awh - lovely hug you are thinking just as he sinks his teeth into your thigh ! After trying everything the only thing that worked for us was to bite him back again - at the time it was the only was to persuadfe him it hurt and was not nice.

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