Odditiy of my 28 month old ds, anyone?

[ETsmum]

I'll try to be brief. My 28 mnoth old ds is a lovely, chatty chap. Up until 6-8 mnoths ago he had real probs adjusting to new situatinons ie new m&t group etc, but this has improved a lot recently.

About 6 weeks ago I had to return to work (no choice in this.) Care is shared between my parents, in-laws and a very good friend.

Friend looks after her granddaughter who is v similar age to my ds, and my ds has known them both for about 2 yrs. 1st 2-3 mornings with my friend he was fine. Last couple have been getting worse. He doeasn't want to do anything she suggests and seems very "on edge." She mentioned that he had a thing about habdwashing after he'd touched the chalk this week, and was just generally very difficult to please. He WAS unwell last week, but has seemed fine the last couple of days at home.

He used to be a bit funny about touching stuff like playdough, but (at home) seems to have got over this. I am 100% happy that the friend has not done anything to upset him/hurt him (know her well, she has worked with SN children in the past, so knows a few tricks!)

I'm happy with his development in every other way, and he doesn't seem fussy about his hands at home. I'm feeling anxious abiout his behaviour when left with my friend though as he is due to start playschool 2 morns a week in Jan (another change I know )

Do you think he's just sussed that mum going to work is a permanent thing? (No one else that has him has commeted that he has been "difficult." Any similar experiences or suggestions appreciated.

Have discussed with dh and my friend (she only has to have hiim 3 more weeks due to chrimbo etc, and is happy to do this.) We think that we need to stick at it as he doesn't get the "option" of going to school/playschool.....

[baka]

The hand thing is just sensory- and if he;s OK at home it suggests that it now just kicks in when he's anxious. I'm sure he will settle in Jan- don't worry too much.

[ETsmum]

Thanks baka for replying Just having one of those eves where I wish he could just sometimes be a bit "easier" than other peoples kids seem. He IS lovely, but sometimes high maintenance.....all part of being 2 I guess

[baka]

don't worry ds2 refuses to do lots of things for sensory reasons. "I don't like the seaside it's all dirty" (he lives in my house fgs, it's just the sand he doesn't like).

[ETsmum]

Thanks baka - you made me (apologies for not replying last night, bloomin' broadband playing up!) We used to have sand issues, but they too have improved over the last yr or so.....

[Fireworks]

Very very normal! My 2 yr old has just started hating to get her hands dirty and constantly wants me to wipe/wash them. Tiniest bit of paint on them and she panics.
I was worried about this but when she started doing it at our toddler group was relieved when lots of mums said the same thing, that their children went through stages of getting upset about things like this. It might be a control /routine thing and may well just a phase/developmental thing or to do with change in routine, whatever it is, I don?t think it is worth worrying about. He might pick up on your anxiety and make it worse.
I am trying to be calm about it, encourage her to play with messy stuff and do hand printing etc and play down the cleaning thing. It is hard when half the time I am trying to encourage her not to make so much mess with food, sraying pain on floor, and then suddenly I am telling her it is ok for her hands to be covered in blue paint! Talk about mixed messages
Mine has also become very easily upset by children of a similar age. She never used to get stressed out by other children but now she sees them coming towards her and physically panics - tenses up, goes red, starts running behind me and squealing. I think she is starting to think ahead and realise that another child might mean sharing her toy, they might push her over etc etc Hopefully just a stage - after all, her little toddler friends are all lovely and not concerned about any incidents I have missed. Please, please, please let this clingy, tricky phase be a phase......

[ETsmum]

Thanks fireworks. Know I'm being a bit paranoid, but when my friend mentioned it it just screamed "OCD" at me! Thanks for being so encouraging. Re the children of a similar age - ds gain used ro do this, but has improved a lot. Still prefers slightly older children though - shame I can't magic up an older sibling

Baka and Fireworks - how old are your lo's by the way?

[dexter]

My neice used to be like this with handwashing at exactly this age, he sounds SOOOO normal, do not worry about him!

It does sound to me as if his being 'on edge' is just a completely understandable symptom of the huge change he is making, to be cared for by others. He sounds like he's coping really well, but I do think it takes a big big effort by little kids. Maybe consider holding off starting the playgroup until you feel he's completely settled in his daycare? There's no law that says he has to go! and he sounds like he's getting plenty of social experience anyway. Just a thought. I think he sounds adorable!

[ETsmum]

Hi and thanks Dexter. I agree that I think it's a big effort for little ones to adjust to new situatioons etc.....think I'm just beating myself up a bit at the mo, thinking that everyone elses kids adjust better than mine! Thanks for the reasssurance

[princesspeahead]

mine is 28 months and we now keep a jcloth on the table at meals half the time, because if he gets a speck of yoghurt on his hands he HAS to wipe it. He is also currently obsessed with taking a tissue and wiping his nose by himself, won't let me do it (lovely - snot all over his face) - and he does that about 10 times a day.
I just think it is a bit of a phase of them realising they can do things themselves and wanting to take a bit of control over themselves.

He is probably a bit anxious about the new situation as well, unsurprisingly - they hate change at this age I think!