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Behaviour/development

Weeing on floor - I think it is an attention thing - help

12 replies

crystalgazer · 02/10/2003 13:01

My DS1 3.3 yrs has been toilet trained and dry at night for 6 months and rarely has true accidents but he has started weeing on the floor first thing in the mornings - when I ask why he says because I want to - i.e. not an accident, when he has an accident he crys as he doesn't like wet trousers but when he does this he just laughs - it doesn't help that DS2 (1.9yrs) laughs too. This morning he did it - third time this week and I got really cross - have held my cool until now. I know this is probably an attention thing and as such it is working. Any tips - I think my options are a. ignore it - which I find really hard to do
b. drag him to the loo as soon as he gets out of bed - tried and he just refused to go c. bribery - if you wee in the loo you get a sweetie don't really want to go down this route if I can help it (although it has worked for other things e.g. cutting nails!) Any advice out there?

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WSM · 02/10/2003 13:04

I think you're right, it is an attention thing. I assume he hasn't developed a fear of the loo as yu say that he does it 'first thing' and 'not 'every time he needs the loo'. I think you are doing right ignring it but I understand how difficult it must be to do. I'd try option C I know it's not your ideal situation, but then neither is a wet floor. It may just help you ride out the storm whilst he grows out of it.

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Thunderbird · 02/10/2003 13:10

I wouldn't totally ignore it but try not to "react" to it IYSWIM? Maybe very neutrally say "go and get a cloth/paper and wipe that up". And don't mention it again. He might refuse of course, duh! SOrry, not much help.

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winnie1 · 02/10/2003 13:15

crystalgazer, I too think this is an attention thing. My son is 3 and he is going through a peeing in plant pot stage (don't ask!). So incredulous was I the first time he did it I laughed, so now he thinks its funny and has demonstrated his new found skill to everyone who visits. Have had to rescue the poor plant and simply remove it, which has stopped him, and now he proudly pees standing up at the toilet. My advice would be ignore it,which is hard) take him to the toilet everytime (although it is obviously too late by then) and eventually he will get bored. Personally, I wouldn't bribe him as it means he is getting a treat for doing something inappropriate.

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Janstar · 02/10/2003 13:29

My little boy does this too (he is 3 next week) I know he can control himself cos sometimes he does, all day, then the next day he will wee and poo on the floor. If he wets his pants he sometimes doesn't even say anything as it doesn't seem to bother him one bit. I have him back in nappies again as I can't cope with wee and poo on the floor.

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sobernow · 02/10/2003 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Queenie · 04/10/2003 14:05

My dd 3 yo next week tried this for a while. She'd wee on her bedroom floor (wooden thankfully) with the toilet just next door to her. She thought it was OK because I had said when first potty training that she was not to wee on my floor etc so she thought the bedroom floor was hers to wee on I suppose. Anyway she is bright so I said in a cross voice, after several incidents, that it was not acceptable, she was to help me wipe it up and take her pants to the laundry basket and get clean ones ... the long and short of it was it was too time consuming and took her away from her toys so she stopped quite quickly. I know you should keep calm but sometimes they need to know it's not clever or funny and a cross tone definitely helps my dd to understand this as well as having consequences ie. your wee so help clear it up.

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crystalgazer · 06/10/2003 12:52

Thanks for all the advice - always nice to know that you are not the only one with a paticular problem. I think I have solved it - the next morning DS1 wanted a story when he woke up - I said only after you have been for a pee in the toilet. We have done this for a few days and seems to be working - for the moment. Now Ds1 has taken to putting DS2 behind the fireguard in the sitting room and pretending he is a hampster - DS2 quite happy - mum not quite so happy as DS2 covered in ash! You can't win them all!!

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crystalgazer · 06/10/2003 12:53

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quackers · 08/10/2003 14:30

No yournot alone, my dd, 3.3 does this now. Has been dry in the day for a long time and has just starting wetting herself or missing the toilet or leaving it to last minute. Again, only at home! Makes you feel really incompetent! Glad I'm not alone either, can't cope with all the washing! Was going to tackle night time but God, don't think I can!

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HiddenSpirit · 15/12/2003 15:57

Hi there, I've got the same problem with ds1 (5yrs) at the moment, but he is doing it during the night. A while ago I had went into their bedroom in the morning to open curtains/make beds when ds1 pointed to the floor and said "Natalie did it" (his 4yr sister). At the time I believed him because Natalie was going through a stage of weeing on the floor right infront of me & dh! I'm not so sure anymore as last night I went into their room to get them up for their "mid-night wee" and the floor was wet infront of ds1's bed. I know this couldn't have been Natalie as she was sleeping in our bed (need to do this otherwise they never settle down!). I asked him why he had done it (didn't tell him off or anything) and he said Natalie did it. Gently explained again about if he needed a wee to go through to toilet. Hall light was on and their bedroom door was a little open so it wasn't like he couldn't see in the dark to get to the loo. I even asked him if he wanted mummy to put the potty in the room at night so if he needed he could wee in there, but he said no. Any ideas on how I can sort this one? Not sure if it's an attention thing or not with it being at night but he does seek attention a lot by spitting, hitting dd and ds2

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zebra · 15/12/2003 16:05

My 2yo has been amazingly reliably dry for 2 months, and this past week has lost bladder control completely, PLUS keeps soiling her knickers -- she is driving me mad!! We are still figuring out what to do; are mostly withdrawing movie viewing and forcing her to use the loo frequently. Putting her in her brother's old (thick) training pants, too. So, no solutions, but all my sympathies; I'll read this thread with interest when I have more time!