CHIDS BAD BEHAVIOUR AT SCHOOL!!!

[boysrus]

My 6 year old has turned into a classroom tyrant! He hits others and causes disruption in and out of the class. He has been put in a weeks detention and the teacher has today informed me shes sending a daily behaviour book home with him. I am at the end of my rope. I have sent him to a behaviour doctor at 4 who said he didnt suffer from a.d.h.d but im starting to doubt that again! To top it all his 3 year old brother has been doing the same at his new nursery school. I feel like i could run away and stay there!! Any help greatly appreciated.

[spidermama]

I had similar stuff with my five year old boy last year. It amazed me when I was called into school as he's so well behaved at home.

I still can't understand what, if anything, went wrong at school but I began to resent the school for failing to deal with it and yet getting me involved even though I had no experience of the sort of behaviour they were accusing him of.

He seems to be fine this year. I've no idea why but am greatly relieved.

Not much help I know, but sometimes I feel school can be over the top. He is a 6 year old boy after all and they are prone to bursts of testosterone, epecially in a school environment where there are so many other boys.

Good luck.

[gentlybentley]

Have had the same problem this week - six year old girl hitting and kicking other children - no signs at home of this. School are working on self esteem and they think she is attention seeking. She does find it hard to deal with any teasing. Am building her confidence at home - praising for everything I can notice and have been advised to ignore anything I don't like as long as is it not causing any harm to her or anyone else. I must also tell her it is the behaviour I do not like not her. Takes a bit of thinking about before you speak but it does work. I feel as if I am on supernanny!

They have suggested she will be exluded if we cannot sort it out - my meeting last week with headmistress was first warning - then I believe we get a letter and then exclusion. Cried a lot at first but have a good friend who works in a school as a behavioural therapist with some really dreadful teenagers and she thinks if it really is a good school they should be able to deal with it themselves, if not, why not, SHE IS ONLY SIX for heavens sake. Felt a bit better then, maybe it is not my fault after all!

[shades1]

Hi Christie

interested in "She doesn't have a 'special' friend and as a working mum I can't to the "Bring a friend home for tea" thing at the school gate."

do you think that makes a difference to them making special friends? I ask because I'm in the same situation, and on education thread have posted parents evening just for us - other boys seem to have best friends but mine doesn't seem to

[Flowertop]

shades 1 I can honestly say it makes no difference if you work or not. I did work and DS1 did not have a special friend, gave up work (not just so he could make friends but loads of other reasons) and have collected him for the past year - still no special friend. Don't put any more guilt on yourselves for workingXX

[twinklemummy]

why are the schools so good at making us feel that we are to blame and largely responsible for our kids behaviour if they behave ok outside of school just not in class

[bigdonna]

i really feel for you boysrus.my son at 6 and 7 went through a phase at school ,he was lashing out at others who hit him first but was always in wrong.as others have said the schools do over react .my son was put on a behaviour chart and if he managed to get into no trouble for a week he would be given a certificate for good behaviour.i also rewarded his good behaviour at school.He is still very boystrous but no trouble at school yet.My kids school even went over the top when my son called a child a name.OTT

[lars]

I agree with all the other mumsnetters.

My ds has had a lot of difficulties adn I do beleive the friend factor may help.

Sometimes kids play up in school enviroment for many reasons. My only advice to you as years of having spent battling with a school that can only find fault, is give yourself a deadline and if things don't improve perhaps change school.

Is the work to hard and does your ds becomes frustrated or is the work too easy and your ds is bored?
Friends, are the school working on this? this could be a key factor.

Hope you get this sorted out as I know hiow difficult this is. larsxx