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Antenatal tests

Quad test 1 in 5 chance of downs

13 replies

Mum2babelle · 02/08/2015 20:57

Hello
I am 32 and pregnant with second baby. Quad test result was 1 in 5 chance of downs. Had private scan (16 weeks) and NO soft markers - all looked good.
Waiting a week for the serenity / NIPT result.
Very scared.
Anyone similar experience?
We would keep baby regardless btw.

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SaggyAndLucy · 03/08/2015 00:18

Hey. Yes. I've been there. Would you like a hand to hold?

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SaggyAndLucy · 03/08/2015 00:21

My DD has DS. I can honestly say that where you are now was the worst time of my life. Nowadays, "joy" would be my word of choice to sum up what I feel.

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Mum2babelle · 03/08/2015 07:24

Thank you. That is comforting. I feel that my fear of a DS baby is very selfish as rom what I see online they live happy lives. Did you get a positive result? From what test? Still reeling from the complexity of it all to be honest.

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SaggyAndLucy · 03/08/2015 11:27

Fear is normal. You're carrying a baby but until you hold them, mentally you're carrying a potential condition.
And the information out there about it is outdated and clichÃ©d and often plain wrong. Downs is way more than what you read.
There are some great fb pages for parents of children with DS and are definitely worth a look. Speaking to actual parents is so much more reassuring.
My DD is just bloody wonderful and I wouldn't change her in any way. Ever. And I'd have another 7 just like her if I had the youth and money! :-)

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Mum2babelle · 03/08/2015 12:16

Thank you for your comments. I like to think we (DH and other family) are better equipped financially and emotionally to deal with a DS child than some. This remains to be seen though! My fear (today - it changes often) is when he / she grows up and still needs us - maybe even after we are gone. Leaving DD with that burden.
I also fear constantly explaining the condition to people and having to fight any misconceptions. I'm happy to have these fights but don't think it would do either child's self esteem much good.
I fear my DD will miss out on a closely aged sibling if there is a delay in development.
I know we will be OK either way.
Sick of waiting now.

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SaggyAndLucy · 03/08/2015 13:50

my other children are much older, 16 and 19. They give me a good insight into the future. They love Lucy passionately and aren't phased by the prospect of needing to look after her.
And I know plenty of people with more than one child. They're all quite content.
As for misconceptions and comments they happen. you soon learn to ignore them. Or even better, bite back!
with regards to the future issue, It's the most commonly trawled out comment when your pg. I rationalise it by comparing my child to anyone else's. I have more than one friend with children who were damaged at birth, who were perfectly healthy but ended up totally dependent. Another who's child got meningitis. It happens. And there's more than a small chance that your child, if they have DS, would still leave home. live an independent, if assisted, life.
I decided I wasn't going to over think things. There's hopefully many many years till I shuffle off.
many years in which I'm going to enjoy my awesome child.
its totally normal to be utterly overwhelmed by all of this right now. time is the most useful thing you have right now. just hang in there, see what your results say and take one step at a time.

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birchygoo · 03/08/2015 17:18

I can maybe give a bit of insight into your worries for your other children. I grew up with an aunt with a LD (,not DS but similar). before my grandparents passed she moved in with my aunt and spends weekends visiting her other siblings. when my aunt gets older and can't look after my other aunt with LD me and every single one of my cousins will want her to come live with us. it's not a chore, its a pleasure and an honour to have her in our lives. we were at a family wedding recently and someone said you are all so good to her. she is so lucky. I was actually annoyed I do not want praise for being good to her, we are lucky to have her and she brings much much more to our lives than we ever bring to hers. we have so much love and she is the glue of our family.

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SaggyAndLucy · 04/08/2015 08:53

The glue of our family is PERFECT wording.

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Mum2babelle · 04/08/2015 10:21

Thank you ladies. I feel a little brighter today for some reason. What will be will be! I find out Friday so should be able to hold it together for 72 more hours.

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