Not sure why I'm posting this really, think I'm hoping by putting it into words it might make me feel better. I had a TFMR reasons last year at 15+2 weeks pregnant. It was heartbreaking but the right decision for us as a family and with the uncertain prognosis of our DD's condition. Once we decided that was the path we were taking everything was kind of a blur and I just wanted it over. Afterwards I asked the nurse what our DD looked like and she said she was a beautiful but a perfectly formed small baby. The pain was so great I chose not to see her thinking it would make it worse. I wanted to be pregnant again straightaway and luckily fell a few months later giving birth to our DS3 in January. His arrival has been such a healer for me- until now.......... A close relative found out at a private gender scan she was having a little girl and was given a 4d picture, this picture is so clear and her little face is smiling and so perfect. It's stirred up a whole load of feelings and I've never actually thought properly about what the nurse said before. I hate myself that my precious much wanted DD didn't even get a cuddle off anyone and that I didn't tell her how much I'll always love her. Please someone have some wise words because after months of calmness I now feel a bit of a wreck and so guilty.
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