Any antenatal depression survival stories out there?

[elsiemarleysellsthebarley]

First post so please be patient. I've been off work for 6 weeks since sickness, tiredness and depression hit hard at 5 weeks into (planned) pregnancy with DC#2. Really struggling to get through each day but hoping that things will settle down at 12-14 weeks. Am on 3x10mg stemitil for sickness and anxiety, when tried cyclizine depression got much worse. No anti-depressants yet and I have a talking therapy appointment next week. Luckily DS is at nursery full time and DH is being amazing. But all I can think about is termination. Only the fact that DH wants the baby has stopped me so far.

I'm hoping someone will come along with how they got through this kind of thing, any positive stories (whether ending in termination or not)?

[PiratesMam]

You poor thing, that is really hard. The therapy appt will help enormously. I struggled until the second trimester when the sickness eased, got some energy back and coped better. It got a little worse again towards the end, but literally the moment that baby came out of me, the cloud over my head floated away, like in a cartoon. The most amazing feeling. Plus cute baby.

Lot of love, take it one day at a time.

[elsiemarleysellsthebarley]

Thank you, that's just what I need to hear! Creeping ever closer to 12 week mark, felt less sick about 13/14 weeks last time so here's hoping. Managed to do a little tidying this morning so counts as a good day.

Thank you again!

[PiratesMam]

It's so hard because you can't escape from pregnancy exhaustion - as soon as the baby is born, at least you can have a regenerative nap! You will not feel like this forever. You can do it!

[Mumbledore]

I had depression during my planned second pregnancy too. I believe it was actually a deep rooted fear of giving birth again (first was traumatic) triggered by neighbour playing loud music at night. I didn't want to but had to give in and start anti depressants and I'm so glad I did as they really evened me out, just a low dose, and it was safe with the pregnancy.

For me, depression muddles my thoughts terribly. Maybe this is causing you to think you want a termination but don't really.

With the right support you can get through this. If anti depressants are suggested and you feel you need them, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this! Your DH sounds as though he is being a big help, you can do it together.

I now have a happy healthy 10 month old and everything is fine. Hopefully your talking therapy will help you sort things out. There will be a way to make you feel better, and pregnancy doesn't last forever even though it might seem that way.

Best of luck with everything

[elsiemarleysellsthebarley]

thanks for the messages. I'm glad you both are much better now. Having some off days recently and DH struggling but talking therapy on Thursday so holding out. Also been giving prescription for antidepressants if I decide I need them after the talking therapy.

[Kent1982]

Hi I had depression During pregnancy I honestly was a different person from moment I got pregnant, before I even knew to about 4 days before I had him. I had massive anxiety I sat crying for hours and hours even sobbing at work, I hid from people. I wouldn't talk about pregnancy or the baby, I turned into a recluse as well.


I considered the same things as you and really upset people with worry about me

The drs were concerned it would carry on afterwards and I was refered to specialist mental health team but that didn't help much then I had him and it was just like the clouds went away and I got back to normal. I don't like to think about the pregnancy now as i really wish I could have enjoyed it looking back on it. It really upsets me but what I'm trying to say is I'm better now. The drs were all ready for me having pnd and were prepared but somehow I knew it would go away and get better and it did. I hope your ok and this helps in any way

[Kent1982]

Sorry I forgot to say I had a reasonably negative experience with some dr who said I clearly wouldn't cope and was very very strongly pushing me towards anti depressants. I didn't take them I just kept delaying it and did the talking therapy. I found the midwifes to be the best help rather than the consultants. I moved hospitals at around 20 weeks and had a really nice team of very experienced midwifes who really helped. They just rationalised things for me and reassured me. One thing that stood out was she said "you will be great after you have him because your ready, you've worried all you can so no surprises for you you will manage just fine "

[SSSMITH87]

I started to feel depressed/anxious around 6 weeks, alongside feeling ill and tired all the time, a really shitty mix of emotions. I finally realised I needed help, so I got signed off work, started medication and also discovered accupunture. I found accupunture really helped me a lot. I also got referred to a therapist. God, writing it up makes it sound so easy, but honestly it was flipping hard work, I really wasn't sure I could cope with my feelings anymore, but I guess I am a success story because now at 36 weeks pregnant I feel much more positive and how I felt seems like a distant memory.
Keep fighting, stay strong, try to find one positive thing everyday, it will get better, but you just have a lot of crappiness to get through before then. At the end of the whole thing, you will be 100x stronger!
X

[CrazyMum37]

Hi, I do parenting stories for a paper in Manchester and have today shared this brave mum's battle with PND. Thought some of you may want to read it. Thanks
//www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/postnatal-depression-one-mums-battle-10724657

[Krissy7530]

Thank you for sharing the article. I have been struggling unbelievably and trying desperately to get help. Unfortunately, nothing has panned out yet. I have been through so much in the past three years but this is by far the worst! 6 months pregnant... 3 more months, right?

[Carla42]

Hi ladies

I'm 18+3 and have been suffering with antenatal depression too. I've been back in work for 3 weeks following 2 weeks off with anxiety. I'll be a single parent when my son is born so I think it all got too much for me.

OP, have you asked your doctor/midwife about perinatal services in your area? I'm in an odd situation as I'm moving from one city to another and I managed to get referred to both perinatal services. The experiences have been very different so far - my hometown was fairly easy to access an assessment following MW referral. My current town was a lot harder, despite my doctor referring me as soon as I found out I was pregnant due to risk. We got there in the end with persistent from doctor and MW.

I now have a mental health nurse who will visit me every month until birth (more often if needed) and I can be referred to consultant to discuss medication after birth. There are also some support groups that the nurse organises.

In my experience the provision of perinatal care seems to differ across the country but do ask your doctor what services are available to you. Just knowing that someone was taking me seriously rather than writing off my feelings as hormones made me feel so much more positive.

[Berri81]

Hi just feeling desperate. Im 27weeks now and suffering from antenal depression. I feel so overwhelmingly sad for no reason. The unexplained sadness makes me cry. I feel numb towards my children. ( ages 5 and 3 and pg with 3rd ). I look at my children and feel nothing but sadness. This started arpund 12weeks til now. My gp says its hormonal and it will gp away. Now at my 27th week the sadness is still there but has lessened. I can function better. But my mood has been constantly low. I still cry but less. Any stories out there of mums who did not take meds and got well from AND? Also did not extend to PND? Im not taking meds now and never had a history of depression. Pls post success stories with no medication. Did anyone just feel so sad and low for no reason? But is fine once baby came out?

[cheerfullysleepless]

I was absolutely unrecognisable to myself or loved ones during pregnancy I was so so anxious. I didn't take the meds I was offered and stuck to talking therapies which kept me from a full breakdown but on reflection think meds would have been better idea as I think the whole thing was hormonal because within hours of giving birth I felt absolutely over the moon. The pregnancy was my first and only to date and motherhood has been hard but happy and hard, not a hint of pnd at all, and I am in love with the ds I nearly terminated several times. Hang in there and take all the support on offer - you can do this and it gets better!!!! Xxxx

[Berri81]

Thank you for your response. This really helps to know that we are not alone and prenatal depression is real and not at all imagined.
Were you also sad and numb as well as anxious? I have anxiety attacks too and its horrible. But it helps to know your depression lifted when you gave birth. So grateful to hear that. I admire your strength and resilience to endure this. Not easy at all.

[Imnotmyself]

I'm not sure whether this is the right place to post, but just want to know whether I might have AND. I have always had in mind that I would have 3 children, my husband wanted two. We have two. Last year I had a miscarriage and since then I have brow-beaten him into going for third. As soon as I saw the positive line on the test, I realised what a HUGE mistake this all is. We live in a 3 bed house, our two girls share a room, we have modest incomes. I am not even sure that my part-time job will still be there when I return from mat leave. I loved mat leave with my two previous children, but now the thought of being on my own at home with a baby leaves me cold. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't enjoy playing with my children or doing anything. I thought I was low after the MC, but this is 10x worse. My younger daughter is 3 and a half. Childcare costs are reducing. Our childminder has just given up childminding and all others are much more expensive. I could have done the sums before, but most of my income will be spent on childcare when I return to work. We cannot survive on my husband's income. I feel tremendous guilt that I have pushed us from comfortable but not rich, to possibly very uncomfortable. I have a constant fist in my stomach churning everything up. The two births so far were very traumatic. I do not want to go through that again, and I have no idea why on earth I thought I did. The first two years of my second daughter's life were exhausting. I will be 41 when this one is born. I will have no pension, no money and no energy. I have robbed myself and my husband of our lives. My father has just been diagnosed with Cancer. We have no family nearby, so after a third c section I have no idea who will help me - maybe my mil will come like last time, but she is also getting old. I feel constant anxiety and anger with myself. If I felt I could terminate and live with it I would. Is this antenatal depression or is it just a reality check? The way I feel, feels a bit more serious than a 'wobble', but I don't know whether it is an illness? Any thoughts?