Since about 13weeks, I've been going through horrible stages of sadness. I constantly feel over tired, and I wake up all hours of the night. I spoke to my midwife and GP about it, but they immediatly suggested taking medication, and I really don't want to be doing that whilst I'm pregnant. I've had 3 miscarriages now, and don't want to be putting anything in my body that shouldn't be there.
My partner is on/off supportive. Sometimes he's great, but then others, he's the one that's caused me to feel dreadful. He's got an issue with alcohol, and it's led me to feel like I'm already a mother. I constantly have to check up on him, and a couple of times he's taken money out of the bank (when we have barely any) and spent it on a night out.
I go to university, but barely gone in, in the last 2 months. I've really isolated myself, and only seem to go out when I go to work 2 or 3 nights a week. The only person I feel like I can talk to is my sister-in-law, who's amazing, and really understanding, but she normally ends up telling my partner off. I understand why she does, but now it's made me reluctant to talk to her now.
When my midwife came out last saturday, I found myself lying about how I was, because I don't want the subject of medication and depression coming back up.
I was supposed to be going to a mum's group on a Tuesday morning, it's held every week, but everytime I go to wake up, I just can't be arsed to go, and make excuses. My first antenatal class was supposed to be today, and I was really looking forward to it, but an arguement with my partner about money he took out of the bank last friday night, that led to our food order from ASDA being stopped, meant I instead sat in the car crying for 10 minutes in the doctor's carpark, before leaving to go home. This was at 1pm this afternoon, and he's still not come home.
To top it all off, we live in a tiny 1 bed first floor flat, that has NO room, so we're looking at moving before the baby arrives. So I can't seem to feel comfortable, or start getting ready properly, because I know we're not going to be here. Everything for the baby is piled up high in a large cupboard, so it doesn't feel like I can get excited, because I can't picture her here.
Everything constantly feels like a battle, and I'm just so sick of crying!!! Someone else tell me they're having just as crap of a time!!
it sounds like it's your first baby and the father's do go through big changes during that time. My DP was a heavy smoker and drinker with an unshakeable determination to set up creative enterprises that bring in zero money - great! By the time the baby came he was only a heavy drinker. It has actually taken until baby 2 for him to give up the booze and go back to work. The badly behaved first-time-father-to-be is something many women experience.
I'm 35 weeks, have been feeling overtaken by hormones, a non-earning DP, living with my parents in two rooms between me my DP and my DS, pregnant, my mum got cancer, my son had a really bad accident. At around 29 weeks things were just awful.
We're now in our own place and it's lovely and I've had a few really good weeks. But today making a cake with DS and want to cry.
My first pregnancy was similarly awful. Some women just do suffer mentally during pregnancy and all I can tell you is that once it's over the pain lifts away. Very quickly if you take antidepressants (I didn't first time) and slowly and steadily if you don't. There is usually a year of bad sleep which is nonetheless amazing because there's a baby. Then suddenly you have your life back - you are fit, well, your LO goes into childcare, you have your work or study back and you have your life back.