Practical steps to help antenatal depression?

[ofmutability]

I'm ashamed to write this - please don't judge me. I'm 10 weeks pregnant and full of despair. I constantly think of killing myself, although I don't feel like I'm going to do anything about it at the moment. I can't feel happy or excited or even neutral about the pregnancy, I just feel trapped and like my life is over.

My partner and I have some 'real world' problems - money worries, and family illnesses. These things came out of the blue and if I had known about them, I would probably have stopped ttc. But this is a planned pregnancy so I feel very guilty for feeling like this. My partner has a lot of work and family commitments and is not around much (not his fault). I have been to the doctor and they have referred me for an assessment in January.

But I don't know if I can wait that long. I can't work, can't see friends, don't want to talk to anyone or do anything, spend all day panicking and crying, and feel full of despair for the future. I feel guilty for what I am doing to the foetus. I have told one friend but she doesn't understand depression. I don't want to tell others because they either have young kids and will think I'm being self indulgent, or are ttc and will think I'm massively ungrateful.

Does anyone have any practical steps to help? In the past, I have dealt with depression through exercise, eating healthily and the support of my partner. Pregnancy, morning sickness and our bigger situation mean those three options are no longer available to me. The GP obviously isn't going to do anything else. I'm desperate.

Thank you,

[elvispelvis]

Do you have antenatal mental health team? You should ask your midwife about that. I had antenatal depression and I felt like you. Just after I got pregnant we were faced with big money problems.
My gp referred me to cmht and appointment came in two months later... I think she did not know about the antenatal mental helth team. Luckily I got an appoitment with antenatal team and I cancelled the cmht one.

I would think ante natal mental health team would see you sooner. At least here where I live they can see you quickly. If you do not have that, you could see your midwife and talk about your situation. Maybe that would speed up things. Or go back to gp and tell gp you can't wait any more, because you feel suicidal.

[ofmutability]

I haven't seen my midwife yet, and I know that there's nothing else the GP will do. Is there no other option other than see the GP? She will refer me for counselling. They will give me an assessment. If I'm lucky they will offer me CBT (it's all they have). I will accept it. I will have an assessment with the CBT practitioner who will probably say, as they have done in the past, that I don't really qualify for CBT because I've had it before. That will take another 6 weeks. And in that time my life will have fallen apart. I don't think the doctors can help.

[fraktion]

You should be under the midwife MH team. They will have specialist counselling and know about any suitable anti-depressants.

The morning sickness should ease soon and then you'll be able to exercise and eat better.

You have all my sympathy. It is hellish. Rationally speaking its hormonal, it's not 'you' and it will ease, it can be treated, but you do need specialist help.

[elvispelvis]

Do you have midwives in your gp's surgery? Just book an appointment and tell your worries. Have you had your booking appointment?

My depression was worst in the beginning of the pregnancy. My mood got slowly better and by week 30 I felt okish. I felt the whole pregnancy was a mistake and I was contemplating of abortion, because I felt so bad. I also wished to get a miscarriage until week 24.

[ofmutability]

That's how I feel. There's no way out. If I have an abortion it would be terrible and if I don't ... I just don't think the GP will do anything. I had a booking in appointment on Friday so I haven't met my midwife yet. She probably doesn't know who I am. I've been through the NHS mental health system before and it's just assessments assessments assessments. It all takes too long. I can't wait that long. I'm really worried about what I'm going to do. I feel like my whole life is unravelling and all I can do is lie here.

[elvispelvis]

Very good you will have your appointment with your midwife. If you can't wait so long just find out what is the telephone number of the ante natal mental health team. At least here where I live it is possible to self refer. Or you find the telephone number of midwife and call them. Or you walk in to A&E. there is many things you can do
(i wish i had known that after terrible assesment at nhs, where told I will be contacted in six weeks by someone... I was then 9 weeks pregnant and desperate)


I did not have any assesments at the ante natal mental health team. I got to see psychiatrist very soon. The system is totally different. I am at the moment in assesment limbo you described at NHS as I am not anymore pregnant. Luckily I a not doing desperately bad.

[Jollyb]

Please go back to your GP and ask for an immediate referral to the antenatal/perinatal mental health team. It sounds like you may benefit from antidepressants. Whilst it's not ideal to take any medication in pregnancy, there are several that are commonly used. If there is likely to be a delay in getting you seen by the specialist team there is no reason why your GP couldn't phone them
for advice and issue a prescription in the meantime.

[fraktion]

I agree that you need to ask for a referral to specialist MH ASAP. I hope you can get some help very soon.

[poppy24]

I went to the doctor yesterday in floods of tears and said I thought I had PND and she has prescribed me citalopram. But I am really worried about taking it due to side effects and desperately wanting to feel myself.

I had a very difficult birth (3 days in labour ending in emergency c section) and most of the year I have been saying I don't identify with the whole 'bonding' with baby thing. And it was a HUGE adjustment because I used to travel all over the world for work. Have now been at home for 13 months.

We then moved to the country, which is beautiful but I don't know loads of people although it hasn't seemed to bother me. I also have a job starting in January for 3 days a week which I was really excited about. - although feeling flat at the moment

But this week I flipped out, after DS was sick for 5 days and husband away and I started feeling extreme rage and had to walk out of the room and let him cry a few times.

DH on leave for 3 weeks next week and then i start my new job. Wondering if I should wait and see if life returns to normal after starting a new job and getting some sleep, or just start the meds...

can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about what i should do

any advice would be welcome

[poppy24]

sorry just posted in this thread and meant to start a new message