To want nothing to do with this deluded woman and her ds?

[Peronellesblush]

Have name changed. Sorry for long post.

Ds & "friend" have been good friends for 18 months.

Ds party 2 months ago: "friend" turns up late with parents - mother giving off very negative vibes. A few people notice, but I didn't think anything. My mum later catches "friend" (very dominant, boistrous etc) pinning girl up against wall, hitting her repeatedly in face with balloon until she cried. Whatever. Later on, another mum comes to get me (I'm busy sorting out cake/ BBQ/ food for kids/ music/ pass the bloody parcel etc) as ds is crying. Find "friend" repeatedly hitting ds in head ("friend"'s parents stand there watching and do nothing). I take ds away and calm him down, then get on with rest of party. It gets to going home time, I'm giving out cake/ party bags etc when sudenly, ds starts crying again. I turn round and see "friend" an inch away from ds. I ask ds what happened. He said "friend" didn't speak to him. (:-/) I say 'Ok. Is that it? Nothing else? You haven't been hit?' "Friends" mother subsequently loses the plot, screeches at me (embarrassing, in front of everyone) that her ds "has never hit a child" over and over again, also saying "I'm really hurt you could suggest such a thing - I know my child!" etc and storms off. I go after and try to explain to her about the earlier incidents, but she was having none of it. I tried again (was really, really upset by this point - it's ds's party ffs) - another mum came and backed me up saying she'd witnessed "friend" hitting ds.

My DH attempted to then smooth it over, but it's been pretty tense since then. Today, it was the last day of nursery and we all went over the park for a picnic. All very nice. "Friend" belts another boy in the head, says it was an "accident", then when mum of boy tells him off, "friend" goes running to mum crying saying it was an "accident". Later on, same boy runs up hill, followed by "friend" and ds not far behind. "Friend" runs up to boy, pushes him really hard onto his back, then points and laughs at him. Ds looks at me worriedly (he knows that was out of order) and boy is left crying on the floor. Dh & I saw the whole thing. "Friend" and ds comes down hill and I say to "friend" 'what did you do that for?' "Friend" says "It was an accident", then bursts into tears, runs over to his mum crying and points at me! "Friends" mother giving me daggers, comforting her manipulative ds, who is pleading "accident". She doesn't ask me or dh what happened, even though we witnessed it. I tried to say goodbye to her later on, but she turned her back to me and wouldn't look at me.

Tbh, I want nothing to do with her - or her ds - but my ds is good friends. They are going to the same school in Sept.

[Peronellesblush]

Btw - Ds is 4, "friend" is 4.8.

[llareggub]

I didn't really understand your post but sense you aren't too fond of the other boy and his mother. You don't have to encourage the friendship out of school, so don't!

[HecateQueenOfWitches]

With friends like that, eh?

Well, perhaps you could get to know other mums and try to develop other friendships? Steer him towards other people?

tbh, if this child is this horrible, then it will only be a matter of time before your child has had enough of them anyway. Kids will only forgive so much, even from a 'friend'.

[activate]

she's a mad one

there's a lot of them about

she does her child no benefit being like this

peers and teachers will sort him out in school no doubt

ignore her - continue to be pleasant

[HoopyFroodDude]

Can you ask for the children to be in a different class. Your DS will make new friends quickly.

[slushy]

Change schools now before he settles in.

[Jaquelinehyde]

I wouldn't let it bother you too much, our children will always socialise with children we don't want them to, they need to learn for themselves how to deal with this.

I'm sure this friend is not ds's only friend and when they go to school the chances are that their friendship will dilute. If the school splits the reception class into two groups you could always request that they are in different groups (maybe do this through nursery who should be able to make these recomendations if they are a feeder nursery)

As for the mother just ignore the situation, you have tried your best and got nowhere, some people just don't want to deal with this kind of situation.

You said your ds knew it was wrong and that's all you need worry about, if he had thought it ok to behave like that then I would have been concerned.

[TheCrackFox]

Is there anyway they can be put in different classes?

Just because your DS is friends with him (he will grow out of that very quickly TBH) doesn't mean you have to have anything to do with his mum. Be civil when you see her. You do not have to have her or her child in your house - no matter how much your DS likes him.

[HoopyFroodDude]

There are unfortunately a few people who are unable to realise that their children are perfectly normal and not complete angels. After many years of having children in school I would say it is best to avoid being placed in a class with him from the start. This way you will avoid being the subject of her vitriol in the future.

[HarijukuLover]

This is all so juvenile. They are four. I suggest you all grow up.

[verytellytubby]

I would ask if they can be put in different classes if there's more than a single form entry.

She sounds awful. Even if they are in the same class, you can distance yourself and cultivate other friendships. My DD in year 3 isn't close friends with the ones from nursery now.

[MorrisZapp]

That's what most mums do on here - take their child's word for it about incidents they didn't witness themselves, particularly when their child is upset.

She's just doing what most parents do, ime.

[overmydeadbody]

Tircky. It sounds awful, some parents think the sun shines out of their little darling's bottoms don't they?

Truth is, this "froiend" won't be able to get away with this behaviour at school, or he may even just grow upt of it, so don;t go changing classes just yet.

By all means have nothing more to do with the crazy mother though.