to not give this girl a lift?

[BunnyLebowski]

I work in a pub and drive to work.

A new member of staff started recently and it transpires that she lives in the same end of town as me, although not exactly on my way home.

The first night we worked together, once I had locked up and started walking towards my car she started walking alongside me (the taxi ranks are in a different direction). I asked where she was going and she said 'Oh you're going my way aren't you? Can I get a lift?'.

I was so gobsmacked by her cheek that I went along with it.

We worked together again last night. At the end of the night she, once again, just started trotting alongside me towards my car. I was so pissed off that I told her I couldn't give her a lift at which point she looked annoyed and walked off in the direction of the taxi rank.

I'm so annoyed by her level of presumption and nerve. I refuse to set the precedent of me giving her a lift home every night we work together.

AIBU??

[sowhatis]

YANBU

[MrsWobbleTheWaitress]

YANBU

[GetOrfMoiLand]

No - as helpful as it is to gve people lifts, it is a cheek to just presume.

I also hate the way that you feel obligated to give lifts. before i was a driver I got buses everywhere and was paranoid about people thinking I was bumming lifts off them.

[ChocolatePants]

Is it her presumptions that have annoyed you?

You could tell her that sometimes you can't give her a lift, but you will tell her on the nights you can...that way you are in charge of choosing if you want to give her a lift or not.

[bunnymother]

YANBU. Your car, your time, your choice. It's the presumption that would annoy me.

[BunnyLebowski]

I just can't be arsed with the hassle Riven.

I finish late and just want to get home. DD still doesn't sleep through so I only get a few hours kip before she wakes up wanting fed.

I just want to whack The Vandals on full blast and drive home singing like an eejit .

That's my outlook GetOrf and I can't understand how people are so blatant and thoughtless.

She's always banging on about how skint she is yet buys new clothes and cds all the time. When she took the job it was made clear to her that staff organise and pay for their own transport.

I'm not the staff minibus!

[SloanyPony]

I would if it were on the way, presumption or otherwise, because its just mean not to and its an opportunity to develop a friendship.

If its out your way a bit, then not so much, though I still might because I'm just nice like that. Its no reason why you should, and she sounds presumptuous, so YANBU

[HecateQueenOfWitches]

I think you did the right thing. In fact, you could say that her assumption that she could get lifts with you was rude.

Before you know it, she'd have you picking her up as well! Best to nip it in the bud.

To just walk along with you, on her first day, when she doesn't know you from adam. [boggle]. If you hadn't asked where she was going, would she have just got into your car without a word? Really odd.

[BunnyLebowski]

That's the thing sloany I'm nice like that too. I offer other girls at work (who I'm close friends with) lifts all the time.

But it's up to me to offer.

I will not be put in the position where it's presumed I will do it. It's not mean of me not to, it's bloody rude of her to presume.

I'm not going to go along with it just because it's not out of my way.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

The crap thing Bunny is that by not giving her a lift somehow you will come out as the mean one.

You are right to stand your ground. I used to commute from Gloucesre to Bristol for work, someone suggested to a colleague that I would be able to give her a lift every day. I said no, I didn't care about teh shared petrol costs, I used those 2 hours a day to listen to loud music, think deep and profound (not) thoughts and to talk to myself. I did NOT want to share. But I felt like a complete cow saying no.

[MortaIWombat]

Was she going to ask the second time?

Or did you actually piss her off by preempting her, by implying that she was just trotting long to cadge a lift, when actually she was just being friendly?

Unlikely, but hey, just call me Pollyanna.

[BunnyLebowski]

Exactly GetOrf.

I look after dd when I'm not at work and have very little time to myself. That wee drive to and from work is time for me to think and listen to my music rather than the sodding Gruffalo for the eleventy millionth time.

Maybe I have no moral core but I don't feel like a cow. Her getting to and from work is just not my problem .

[Magalyxyz]

YANBU

You just can't assume that somebody is prepared to add to their own journey driving across town for your convenience, night after night. IF I'd been in her shoes I might have approached you with the offer of at least half of what the taxi journey would have cost, but I would have gone out of my way to say I compleeeetly understand if you'd rather not.

[HelenaCC]

YANBU if she had wanted a lift she could have asked you politely and offered petrol money AND made it clear that you were under no obligation to accept her request. Shes blown it now by being rude.

That might be a good thing for you, even if you do ome out looking mean at least you dont have to make mind numbing conversation, anddont have to extend your already over long evening by going out of your way...