my 9yo d's might be obsessed with his computer is it unreasonable to ban him from using it till he calms dow? he seems to think so!

[jayjayp]

i think my ds might be addicted to his computer its the first thing he says to me when he comes home from school (can i go on computer mam?) and kicks off like crazy when i try limit his pc time or ban him, i mean he goes proper nuts about this like i witholding his airsupply or something!!!!what are the symptoms of being computer addict? does anyone think im being unreasonable by banning him for a while till he sorts out his behaviour? he seems to think so!!

[pointydog]

how long's he on for?

[LaurieFairyCake]

Say "it's not working I've taken it to the shop" (hide it in the loft)

It will take him a week to find something else to do.

Get it back from the shop and limit it to one hour a day (with anything addictive/age inappropriate inaccessible)

Yes, he is addicted and it is pretty common.

Stick to the rules, remember he is 9 and you're the parent.

[foxinsocks]

I am pleased the weather is cheering up so we can open the doors and shove them outside tbh

I think quite a few his age are like this

[pointydog]

yes, shove him out to play with friends in parks and woods

[MathsMadMummy]

there was a supernanny show which dealt with this. in fact in the most recent episode they revisited him and the boy is doing so much better

[foxinsocks]

yes, enough with the winter now. They can all go and roam the streets in their hoodies.

how nice to see you in your most pure pointy form

[jayjayp]

he is limited to an hour but can be sneaky beaky also doesnt realise how long he has been on it when i tell him his time is up he thinks its only been 10mins and goes on out of proportion rampage about how unfair i am and im a mean mam and ALL his friends are allowed as much time as they like and hes the only one treated this badly in the whole wide world etc etc....... then comes tears and tantrums that tbh i thought he was way too old to be having! arrrgh! patience runs thin you know??!!

[pointydog]

why thanks foxers. I quite like the same old same old

[pointydog]

an hour a day or an hour at one sitting?

[loujay]

I had this with DD and her Nintendo DS........all she would ask about when she came out of school / got out of bed / etc etc was the sodding thing!!
Have now banned it except at weekends, and then she is only allowed half an hour...........it took 3 days of asking / complaining but today she has finally "found" her other toys and is playing nicely without asking for it once
dh called it "the work of the devil" and i agree with him (although it makes me sound like my dad!!)

[Shodan]

Ah, no, jayjayp. I am the meanest mother in the world because I limit ds1 to after dinner till an hour before bedtime (usually works out to be 1 1/2 hours).

Everybody else is, of course, allowed on for as long as they like.

You could try a kitchen timer set for an hour. That worked while we had the hour a day limit.

[foxinsocks]

yes so do I but then again, I've never managed this name changing malarky

my personal opinion, and I have an 8 year old who'd probaby choose to marry the computer if he had a choice, is that time limits are quite hard.

e.g. if you are about to finish a level on a game and someone screeches, your hour is up, get off now, then you're going to be cross aren't you

I tend to be a bit more flexible so he has to share taking turns with his sister (don't know if you have other dcs) so he doesn't get a go every day, and then when he does, I do tend to let him have quite a long go.

Does he do outdoor activities like clubs? is he out the house for other things? I think the key is making sure they are doing lots of things and not just the computer iyswim. But I do know it is very hard and I think this age (8-10) is v bad for it.

[Lilyan]

I have a twelve year old who can do a simillar thing. Problem is they forget how to find fun in doing anything else so they stomp around the house making your life miserable.

When he says that he is the only being treated this badly, he isn't, because my son says the same.

I like the idea of hiding it in the loft! Might try that

[jayjayp]

he has an hour a day normally in one sitting but sometimes i get distracted with say making tea and he sometimes manages to wangle longer, even my mam thinks im being unreasonable she has foster son she lets him on pc all day if he likes and when my ds's visit/stay over she lets them do this too she is of opinion that they off the streets and quiet what am i moaning about?!!

[jayjayp]

yes he does gymnastics and rides his pony in good weather but as soon as we get home he has v. bad one track mind pc pc pc pc pc ......

[TottWriter]

If he's losing track of time, why not get an hour timer and set it off when he sits down. Leave him to it for the hour, (though point out that you WILL know if he tampers with the timer) and he can see that an hour has passed and not 'only ten minutes'.

Perhaps him being more conscious of the time he's actually spending on the thing will help you reason with him. Though prepare for all sorts of dishonesty. My brother would pull all kind of stunts to get gaming time when he was younger.

YANBU to restrict his access, by the way. Maybe talk to some of his friends' parents and try to get a unified front if they're also concerned. That way you can brush off the 'but all my friends can do it' as the rubbish it most likely is.

[foxinsocks]

it is v appealing isn't it (the computer and games etc.)

you need to find something else he will do at home....what other activities did he used to like?

[peanutbutterkid]

I have same thing with 10yo DS and unfortunately he really can't seem to think of anything else to do (he is only allowed 2 hours of 'fun' games, and only on non-school days). He refuses to do any ExC activities, there isn't anywhere he can play out, his friends all live too far away for him to pop over and see them casually after school.

So he constantly whines that there is nothing to do after school and begs to do 'educational' games which we do allow a bit on weekdays. He picks fights with his siblings if not allowed on Poota. And even then he can have an almighty strop if asked to quit Crayon Physics or MathsisFun to go have tea/because it's bedtime, etc.

SIGH.

[maraisfrance]

Oh, blimey, PBK. I'd come down a bit harder on the ECAs in your shoes. I really couldn't stand a whining lad around all the time. Tell him he's going to try two clubs a week after school each term and he won't get the computer back until he gives them a good go. My son didn't want to do choir and I said he had to do so, and he would get an extra 50pence a week pocket money. Now it's just part of life. Sounds like your boy is like mine - doesn't like change, but adapts perfectly well once it's a settled fact.