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AIBU?

why oh why oh why do people put their lives at risk for material possessions?

19 replies

wannaBe · 15/01/2010 10:38

In the news today a woman was knocked down and killed to try to stop thieves from stealing her car.

Last week a man was stabbed to death when he chased after muggers to try and retrieve a woman's handbag.

At the end of the day, these things are just material possessions and can be replaced.

No life is worth sacrificing for a car, or a handbag.

OP posts:

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Morloth · 15/01/2010 10:42

I think there are two (and probably more) ways of looking at this.

On one hand I agree with you, on the other what sort a message does it send to the sort of people likely to steal cars and handbags that the rest of us will just quietly hand them over without a fuss so we don't get hurt?

Perhaps if more people were braver and made a stand and told thieves to fuck off and were more aggressive then there would be less incidents over all. After all, if you think you might get the shit kicked out of you then you are much less likely to try to rob someone.

Is tricky, and I don't know what I personally would do in the situation.

chandellina · 15/01/2010 10:44

i think you assess your chances at the time and have some sort of gut reaction. I was mugged for my handbag once and chased the guy. That was my reaction, though I didn't catch him.

QandA · 15/01/2010 10:45

I would be more inclined to think why oh why, do people steal from others and cause so much harm.

nancy75 · 15/01/2010 10:46

in the heat of the moment you would probably never imagine that somebody would actually kill you for your car/bag.
in a situation like this you never know what you would do, i dont think logic really comes in to it.

Francagoestohollywood · 15/01/2010 10:46

It's tricky.
I wonder if protecting "our" stuff is instinctive.

Sassybeast · 15/01/2010 10:49

Why do scum think it's ok to steal someones car from their drive ? I find it pretty abhorrent that you would even suggest that the woman was in anyway responsible for her own death tbh.

wannaBe · 15/01/2010 10:55

I never said she was responsible for her own death, don't put words in my mouth that weren't there. Of course it is hideous that there are scum out there who will mug someone/steal a car from their drive. But it is just a car. It is just a handbag. These things are all replaceable.

I just find it sad that people place so much value on material things that they will defend them without any thought as to their own safety.

OP posts:

DontSweattheSmallStuff · 15/01/2010 10:56

In the heat of the moment you don't stop to think about it though. I stood in a shop doorway once blocking someone who was trying to walk out wearing my coat they'd stolen from the back room. My only thought was 'that's my first really 'nice' coat that dh had just bought me for christmas, what makes you think you can just walk in here and take it.'. It was only later it occured to me i could've put myself in danger.

SqueezyIsStartinAResolution · 15/01/2010 10:57

It's maybe a fight or flight thing where you think you know what you would do in a situation like that but if it actually happens, you don't have time to think properly and balance the risks. Poor lady

I see with that man last week, they have arrested 3 people.

Ronaldinhio · 15/01/2010 10:58

I totally agree wannabe unless it's my children I'm not bothered

Morloth · 15/01/2010 11:00

It is also a huge jump from stealing something to killing someone and not one that most people will take.

How dare people think they can steal from others? They dare because they think we will not do anything about it.

It isn't about the material possession exactly I assume it is the outrage that someone is presuming they can do what they like with your stuff and by extension you.

Thinking about it my reaction would probably depend on whether I had my DS with me or not (and on being pregnant) if I was alone I think I would probably respond aggressively to someone trying to mug me. If I had my kid(s) with me then I would probably hand it over in an attempt to just remove them from the situation.

Northernlurker · 15/01/2010 11:01

But wannabe - in that situation you don't think 'oh it's just a material possession' - you think 'that thing is MINE, let go of it'

Nobody knowingly sacrifices their life for their handbag - our focus should be on the horrible moral state of somebody who steals a car and deliberately runs over the person tehy've stolen from!

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 15/01/2010 11:10

I was almost mugged at a bus stop in Greenwich a few years ago - 3 very mean looking (but young) boys.

I refused to hand anything over and fortunately a bus came along, It was only when I jumped on I realised how foolish I'd been. You do what you do in these situations.

Similar to people trying to help others out of frozen ponds- if you had time to think rationally you'd realise it was a bad idea.

MumtoEliane · 15/01/2010 11:11

I agree with the opinion that it is a gut reaction. If the woman rationally thught "if I step in front of the car I might die" she wouldn't have done it.

Every time I prepared to go traveling my grandad used to sit with me and tell me "if some mugs ask you for your money, give it! your wellbeing is far more precious" He drilled that into my brains!

Poor lady.

slightlystressed · 15/01/2010 11:23

I too think its gut reaction, most people dont do things that might get themselves killed, things like this happen so quickly they wouldnt have time to consider the correct course of action.
Its similar to trying to save dogs on ice debate.

JammyQueenOfTheSewers · 15/01/2010 11:41

Years ago, my Mum worked in a newsagent. One afternoon a young woman of about 18 came in and pointed a knife at my Mum and told her to hand over all the money. Now, it was only money, it wasn't even my mum's money, she was just the shop assistant, but without thinking Mum shouted "You silly, silly girl. Now get out!" Thankfully the woman ran away. Afterwards Mum was really shaken and of ourse said she'd been foolish, and lucky, and her safety was worth way more than the money, but that it had just been her gut reaction - how DARE the young woman think she could just demand the money and be given it? By the way, Mum was about 50 at the time, so not particularly old, but nor was she a strong, young athletic looking type. And of course she was not armed in any way. I think it shows that in these situations, logic does not come into it, it is a real instinctive thing.

Sassybeast · 15/01/2010 12:10

I'm not sure how I'm putting words into your mouth. You have suggested that she shouldn't have done what she did because it led to her death. It was the scum driving the car straight at her which led to her death. She didn't have time to think 'Hang on, if I try to stop this man stealing my precious, expensive car, he may well run me over like a dog. What should I do ?'

It's an innate reaction - an andrenaline rush which spurs many people into action. if he'd been stealing a plant pot, she would probably still have intervened. it's a natural surge of anger that someone can be so bloody arrogant as to just 'take' what isn't theirs.

And I can tell you with 100% certainty that if I was ever mugged again, or robbed or burgled, I'd do what I did last time and fight totth and nail. The day that we live in a society when we are so intimidated by criminals that we stand back and let them 'take' what they want is a day when we might as well just hand everything over.

I totally agree with your sentiment that material possessions are not worth losing a life over - of course they're not. But turning ourselves into hapless bystanders whilst these thugs rob and steal what they want is not an option for me.

lucyellensmumagain · 15/01/2010 12:22

The considered response would be to say stuff the goods, have them and let karma sort them out. But in the heat of the moment i think its a perfectly natural reaction. I would like to think i would do the karma thing but i have such a flash temper that i probably would end up hurt, or in prison

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 15/01/2010 12:37

What scares me most is the occasional stories you hear of people getting carjacked with children in the car.

This happened to one of my parents friends when she was living in Croatia. She stopped at a junction, was wrestled out of the car and they drove off with her 8mo DD. Someone in a car behind chased them and saw them pull over, throw the baby on the ground (still in her carseat) and speed off again.

She has never gotten over it and her fierce protectiveness led to all sorts of problems when her Dd was a teen.

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