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AIBU?

do you let your kids /teens drink alchohol in your home?

27 replies

bridewolf · 07/01/2010 12:41

just asking for your opinons, we let our kids have a glass of wine at meals, and our older teens have odd can of beer.

what is your view on teens and drinking?

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GetOrfMoiLand · 07/01/2010 12:56

DD has a glass of bucks fizz on new years eve. She didn't much like it.

We don't tend to drink in the week but if I have a glass of wine from now on i will offer her a small glass. I expect she will refuse but I don't want her to see it as a big taboo and get shandied on 20-20 of something equally vile in secret.

She is 14 btw.

Angelcat666 · 07/01/2010 12:58

I don't drink at home often but when I do depending on what I'm drinking I will allow my 15yr old daughter a small glass. By this I mean if I'm drinking wine, spirits are a no no, although she's never asked to try them. My son has never bothered.

NannyBeth · 07/01/2010 13:39

We were allowed a small glass of wine/beer with meals from around 14. Also, at family meals (eg birthdays, christmas etc with all the family) my dad and I have had a beer together since around the same time. Until i was about 16, this was my drinking half his beer. It then progressed to a beer each.

I don't see any problem with it at all! I plan to do the same thing with my kids!

thesecondcoming · 07/01/2010 13:41

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MillyR · 07/01/2010 13:44

I was allowed to drink with meals from age 10, but rarely wanted to. I would let my children drink if they showed any interest, but I rarely drink in the house, so the opportunity rarely presents itself.

ajandjjmum · 07/01/2010 13:44

DS (17) and DD (16) have a drink with us occasionally - DH and DS have quite a thing about having pear cider together, and DD tends to have Malibu and Coke.

They both drink with their friends, and have been known to drink too much. But this is an occasional thing, rather than every weekend. I'd rather I knew than it was done behind my back.

wearthefoxhat · 07/01/2010 13:44

Mine are allowed a sip of whatever we have, but we hardly ever drink. They are 9, 7 and 4.
We had some Crabbies alcoholic ginger beer this Christmas, but ds(9) is partial to GB, and gulped loads down before we noticed and stopped him. It doesn't taste any different to normal ginger beer!

paulaplumpbottom · 07/01/2010 13:47

My dd 6 got has had the very odd glass of bubbly. I'm not a heavy drinker myself. I think as long as it is reasonable I don't have a problem with it.

thesecondcoming · 07/01/2010 13:51

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bridewolf · 07/01/2010 14:33

ooh, i think 6 is a little bit young for bubbly.........

dont the french water is down a little at that age?

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 07/01/2010 14:34

I would, but not until they are 15 or 16 I think.

GibbonInARibbon · 07/01/2010 14:50

I was always given sips at a young age and allowed a glass on special occasions with dinner at 15/16.

I never understood the need for people at school to drink 20/20, blue nun or whatever as alchohol held no mystique for me and I can honestly say as a young teen I never got drunk with friends (that happened as I got older )

I do think it's a fine line tbh and was lucky my parents got it right.

GibbonInARibbon · 07/01/2010 14:50

alcohol*

claw3 · 07/01/2010 14:52

Both of my ds's 16 and 13 are allowed a glass of wine with lemonade on special occasions, although they often decline the offer. Ds 5 has lemonade.

Ds 16 will sometimes have a beer with his dad when they are watching football.

We let them do this in the hope that drink is not a forbidden fruit that you have to try in a park with your mates and that its ok to drink socially and you dont have to get rat arsed everytime you drink!

Dont see the point of letting my 5 year old try it to make him feel 'big', more about preparing them for the inevitable and 5 seems a little young to start.

GrimmaTheNome · 07/01/2010 14:55

DD had a sip of bubbly at xmas lunch - as expected she didn't like it and was much happier with ginger ale.

I wouldn't offer her an alcoholic drink that I thought she'd actually like. As others have said a bit on special occasions when she's 15/16 sounds about right.

I have warned her that alcopops might taste nice but aren't a good idea and that if she's offered any elsewhere she's to say she's not allowed.

wearthefoxhat · 07/01/2010 14:57

When I was young, my sisters and I could have a taste from a very early age (4/5) - a taste being a small sip, and when older (10/11) allowed a watered down glass with meals, if we wanted. We have all grown up with very responsible attitudes to alcohol, none of us binge drink or get drunk regularly.
My brother, however, was away at school from age 7 until he was 18. He's never known alcohol to be a normal thing to be taken in moderation, it was always a case of smuggle it past the grown ups, and get as smashed as you can. He now has huge problems with alcohol - doesn't know when to stop, gets abusive etc.
From my experiences with it, I feel more comfortable letting my dc's have a tiny amount, if they choose, so that there is nothing mysterious and forbidden about it when they reach teenage years.

Mshalfcut · 07/01/2010 15:06

My 17 year old ds has a beer or pear cider at home sometimes, and has done for about the last year or so

paulaplumpbottom · 07/01/2010 15:06

Well when I say a glass it wasn't full or anything. She didn't drink it all anyway

herbietea · 07/01/2010 15:10

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Prinnie · 07/01/2010 15:25

I think the key is allowing them small or watered down versions of what I would call 'real drinks'(beer, wine, cider etc.), I wouldn't allow kids to have spirits and mixers until much older (16/17) and I despise alcopops and they would not be allowed. I think allowing drinks that taste like soft drinks are a bad idea.

bridewolf · 07/01/2010 20:31

would you give teens , other than your own, booze in your home?

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thesecondcoming · 07/01/2010 22:04

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SoupDragon · 08/01/2010 08:03

"would you give teens , other than your own, booze in your home?"

no, I wouldn't. Well, not unless I'd cleared it with their parents first. I think it's a decision you can only make for your own children, not those of other people.

traumaqueen · 08/01/2010 08:19

DS is 19. He doesn't drink but his friends have been allowed beer when they come here since they were in the 6th form so about 16ish.

DD is 16. She had 6 friends over on new year's eve. I supplied a couple of bottles of cava, loads of soft drinks and a 1/4 bottle of vodka. Boys bought some beers, girls snuck in a bottle of malibu which is less than I expected.

Neither want to drink wine with us but both and their friends have been offered a glass at meals since 15/16ish.

ajandjjmum · 08/01/2010 08:20

From when my kids were around 15, if we were having, say, a glass of wine with a meal, I would always ask if their parents would allow it.

I know they can lie, but hopefully they will see that I am expecting them to be responsible - and generally knew that I was likely to mention it to their parents anyway.

I don't think it's possible to get it completely right - different kids need different rules, in my opinion.

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