To feel agrieved that DH is working in his booked holiday again - just had a row over MSN

[clumsymum]

DH works for a small business, where everyone is pretty essential.

They are managing to make sales, even in this climate, but by making promises for stuff which is really difficult. So when something needs doing, it's all hands on deck to hit the deadline.

At Christmas dh booked time off to cover from Christmas to ds going back to school, but he ended up working 2 days of it cos of a deadline.

He hasn't used much holiday in between then and now, but was told he must use up his remaining 15 days before end August.

So he booked next week off, and the week before next bank hol, and a few days in between.

We aren't going away (well two days end of Aug), but I'm planning some days out and family together time.

He's told me now that he needs to work on Monday, to get something finished for a customer. I'm cross with the company for letting this happen again, he thinks I'm cross with him, so we had a row, and I signed out of MSN.

I know I'm being a bit unreasonable, after all, he has got a job, and the employer does treat them pretty well (no probs about leaving early now & then if I need him to do school pick-up or summink, no probs re dentists & stuff), but I'm pigged off that scheduling seems to be so bad, and our plans don't seem to matter.

BTW if we had booked a flight or something, they wouldn't expect him to cancel that.

I am, aren't I?

[Dizzyclarebear]

you are being a tiny bit unreasonable.

My DH works for a large company, but that doesn't mean same issues don't come up - esp now when they are cutting staff - but if holding on to his job means we have to accept he'll be on conference calls when suits LA/logging in from home when on days off/attached to Blackberry at all times; well that's what it takes in this market.

At the risk of sounding stepford wife-ish - he's probably under huge stress if he's agreeing to this, and actually needs your support more than you adding to the stress by complaining about something he can't control without making himself look 'unreliable' - which in this market could mean 'unemployed' shortly afterwards. Careful what you wish for, if he's made redundant he'll be at home lots... (sorry to be harsh, but that's the way it is until things pick up)

Have you checked if they have offered to give him the day back? If he can't take the time off before end of August because of work committments, most employers would be flexible to let him take the time in September (even if it's after the deadline)

But hugs - I know it's rubbish.

[Domokun]

Dizzy's right. YANBU to be angry at the company (although I can understand that they kinda have to do things like this in the current market), but you shouldn't end up arguing with your DH about it as he's bound to be stressed and disappointed himself without feeling extra guilty.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

I would be annoyed on your position too. First thing is to make sure that he gets agreement to carry over any days he doesn't use so that he doesn't lose them.

Dizzy - I agree that you can't be seen to be being unreliable, but having holiday booked that you've been told to use is hardly that.

It's a crap situation, but if it's a small business then it's in your DH's interests to help keep things afloat I guess.

Much sympathy!

[BitOfFun]

The carry over solution is a good one. Surely he could request this?

[Callisto]

Think you're being pretty unreasonable myself - in the current economic climate you should be thanking your lucky stars that your partner has a job. The company is bending over backwards to get stuff out of the door so that no-one has to be laid off. My DP runs a small business and if he has to work late or over the weekend I have to just suck it up and get on with it. It is shite and I miss him, but work has to come first otherwise we'll be on the streets.

[CMOTdibbler]

YABU. Things come up, and you can't afford to lose or annoy customers at the moment.

I think that companies are trying not to let people keep leave till the end of the year or carry it over so that they don't end up having to pay it out - I think it sits on the books as a liability as all our US employees (who can build up a lot) have been told they must take a certain amount by fixed dates this year.