I loooooooooooaaaaaaaathe BG with an absolute passion. I would love to see him in a really dnagerous survival situation involving blood-crazed tiger sharks and a sinking raft...

AH. I see the tone of this thread got lower after I retired last night. Glad to hear it.

I am more of a Mears lass myself too, though I certainly WOULD kick either ofthem out my bed/hedge if they got near it. <snurk> I like bookish boys myself. Grylls is just so achingly posh that I can't really stand him, yet every Saturday Dh and I end up tuning in to take the mick. Mature, huh?

Watched him today in the Patagonia episode and his Spanish wasn't even that great...

Ray Mears is far superior.

A p't time degree in Hispanic studies just screams <THICKO>.

I've never even seen him on tv and he already irritates the tits off me.

I can't stop saying "oh FFS! Really?!" whenever I see Bear twatting about...

Now Ray

he's to manly and posh to do a strip show.

according to wikipedia here is how posh he is

Grylls was raised in Donaghadee, Northern Ireland until he was four when his family moved to Bembridge on the Isle of Wight. He is the son of the late Conservative party politician Sir Michael Grylls and Lady Grylls (née Sarah Ford). His maternal grandparents were Patricia Ford, an Ulster Unionist Party MP and Neville Ford who played first-class cricket. He has one sibling — an elder sister, Lara Fawcett. In a recent episode of Man vs. Wild featuring Hollywood actor Will Ferrell, he said his sister gave him the nickname "Bear" when he was just a week old. Grylls was educated at Eaton House, Ludgrove School, Eton College, and Birkbeck, University of London, where he graduated with a degree, obtained part-time, in Hispanic studies in 2002. He learned to climb and sail from his father at an early age. He earned a second dan black belt in Shotokan karate as a teenager. He now practices Yoga and Ninjutsu. He speaks English, Spanish, and French.

Fgs do you think his whole career is just there to justify him constantly getting his kit off? Why doesn't he just do his own strip show? (And how could he possibly be any posher than he already appears?)

.. I noticed that the wet trunks stayed on.. and all I could think of is he's is so going to look like he's wet his pants.. hope his coat comes over his bum!

My 8-month-old son doesn't like wet clothes! Duh indeed .

He didn't take his wets undies off though. (disappointed emoticon)

LOL expat!

corn weren't you watching tonight.. old bear chappy doesn't like wet clothes!! duh!

Why wasn't I informed of this event?!

Why did he row naked?

.. my god his arms must have been amaizing!!

Oh, equipment freaks are posers, BCNS. Nope, I could smell those a mile away. I liked the grubby, sinewy, wiry type who could climb on a minimum of gear of any sort. The guy who climbed 6 pitch cracks with no camming devices. Oooo, yeeessss. That was my man.

@ "way posher"

just going back to bear grylls for a moment here, just googled him and read wikipedia.
two of his kids are named marmaduke and huckleberry. are they going to be extra double hard when they grow up so they can take all the schtick that goes with those names? other random bear fact - He also rowed naked for 22 miles in a homemade bathtub along the Thames to raise funds for a friend who lost his legs in a climbing accident.
he's way posher than i thought he was too. there you go. i've learnt some new things tonight.

Mr Tumble on a spit roast?

Is it the wine I'm drinking or is this thread getting a little weird

Ace Rimmer was a bit Bear like.
'Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!'

yup, how is he a frustrated bear type?

With the Rimmer thing?

go on cornsilk i'm intrigued......

I'm chanelling Rimmer from Red Dwarf. I think he's a frustrated Bear type.

OMG! expat.. I married ( and divorced)one of those .. as descibed above.. where I thought he would be adventrous and fun.. he was in fact an "equipment freak" who would think nothing of spending ££££ for a winter coat.. because you can climb everest in it, £££ on a watch that navy divers wear and walking boots that crampons attatched to.. and wore them round surrey middle class shopping centre..whilst carrying his survival fire starter keyring and a pocket credit card multi tool.

he also happened to carry a full size AXE in the frigging landrover.. just incase he came upon a fallen tree in the sodding road .. in surrey/Hampshire/berkshire borders! ... mind you that was quite handing when mum decided she no longer liked the dwarf willow tree in the fron t garden..
and was debating this with my father..when ta daaaaa

action hero surrey survival man.. ran to the landy.. grabbed the full sized AXE!! and chopped the blary tree out of the ground.. before my mother had chance to breathe... schwoooop schwooop it was flipping gone..!!!!

I believe this is what old bear is like on his day off as well. he seems the type!

have just read some of this and it made me pmsl

Not the Mr Tumble bit though...

BCNS I won't be able to get that image out of my head now. Which is a good thing.

ROFL! I will never be able to watch Mr Tumble now without seeing the whole terrifying scene in my head...

BCNS.

I'd take Bear raw anyday.

I like Scout/climber types. Sluurrrp.

BCNS

i so want to be there

bear would be sat away from the group with his own "special fire".. gnawing at something dead yet not cooked.. gordon would be swearing at ray who was weaving a plate and knives and forks out of treebark.. and brucey boy would be smoking a local but legat leaf that got him totally off his trolley.. whilst he tapped a tribal tattoo into Mcintyres arm!

surely bear would have to have it raw? poor mr tumble! at least ray cooks his food!

They'd have Mr Tumble on a spit on the first night.

PMSL, cornsilk!

Imagine the lot of them together. Along with Donal Mcintyre and Gordon Ramsay. It'd be like Lord of the Flies.

Oh no! Bruce Perry looks like he'd give you some nasty disease or bum parasite.

Eeeewww.

Ooh no, ninja... he looks like prince charles!

Well I'm keeping Ray then since none of you want him.

now your talking brucey baby actually puts himself through pain.. and he sorts lots of dodgey tribal concoctions(sp) and gets high! LOL

Why is he eating a zebra? Does he think he's a lion?

LOl I love to watch old bear.. just so I can think " I don't get it".. I mean surely if he can set a fire to cook bit of the very thoughtful sheep who had only just died along the path he was walking.. then he could have popped the heart in his little mug thing and cooked that too.. rather than just having a token raw nibble.

and anyway.. he reminds me of my exH.. flipping fire starting block on his keyring and w*nker trouser and walking boots for a moning out shopping in a very middle class surrey town.. FFS!

LMAO

Neither of them do anything for me.

you just caused me to spit a mouthful of wine onto my keyboard as i snorted with laughter. the bear picture just says it all. i think maybe he has too much testosterone?

whereas I really can't see what he's doing here

(much as I rate him)

Mr Tumble makes me want to smash the tv to bits

I've no idea who Ray Mears is - or Bruce Parry

Off to google

Look!

rugged and lovely

show-off

'scuse me but i think my wine may be kicking in and dp is away on a stag do tonight, ho hum....sorry getting a bit carried away here

teddy bears in safari suits don't do it for me either. i'm going to throw a new name into the ring: bruce parry. now i would shag him quite happily. and i believe he's hung like a donkey!

Mr. Tumble wouldn't even make it to first base.

Yuk.

Nor Ray Mears.

Just a bit too podgy guys.

I know some gals like a teddy bear to cuddle, my best friend's like that, but it's really not my thing.

Oh harsh!

How would Mr Tumble fare in Expat's survival show?

are ray mears and mr tumble related? i think justin may be his younger brother......

Who is this Ray Mears bloke?

Obviously should have changed my name to "MrsRayMears" there but I can't be arsed.

I would, seriously, much rather have Ray Mears in my bed hedge than Bear. I cannot fancy Bear Grylls at all, he's such a ponce! Ray actually tells you about survival and if that means bringing a lighter or a tent, he brings a lighter or a tent. Ray would never do something dangerous for the sake of showing off. He would save your life and catch you a rabbit while Bear was off dangling off a hillock on a piece of string and shouting. He makes Bear look like an attention-seeking 6-year-old.

PMSL. You should put that idea forward to Channel 4!

On tonight's episode, we'll be discussing what you can do if he's got a small tadger.

Do you go for the mercy shag, or plan your escape?

Next week, 'The Return of the Two-Pump Chump: Do you hope for an improvement, or dump?'

Expat you should do your own survival show. I've read the escaping from the bathroom window story before. You have much to share!

expat i'm jealous. i like 'em lean too

I was a big time climber - mostly rock - for a while, cornsilk. Yep, I've had my share of Bear types (and probably someone else's, too ).

And they were all dirty dirty boys.

You've obviously met Bear types before expat!

i'm tellin ya, people, that's what bondage gear is for!

i'd rather be stuck on a desert island with ray mears, he may not be so attractive but he'd build you a house and cook you dinner

Oh yes I s'pect Bear would rabbit on and on and on, and I don't mean 'talking dirty' to you expat.
And instead of a cup of tea and a fag (or a Garibaldi biscuit) as his grand finale, he'd whip out a thimble of stale urine and an eviscerated witchity grub. Or try to make one smoke a dried out hurdygurdy plant.

LOL.
Bet he makes condoms out of sausage skins.

Then I'd just have to sit on his face.

But he would expat. A running commentary all the way through.

Well, see, in my pre-ovulation fantasies, he doesn't have to speak. The language of love is all I need from him .

Puts on Bear Grylls ridiculous over important voice 'Today I am going to brave the family kitchen....and see if I can actually make a cup of tea with my bare hands.....and make it back into the lounge without spilling any'. Mrs Grylls 'Oh thanks love'.

He is fit but soooooo annoying I have to leave the room if DH is watching otherwise I end up saying 'FFS' continually until he has finished sliding down a mountain on his bottom for no apparent reason other than to give kids new ideas of how to hurt themselves.

Worst episode I have seen so far showed him walking inside an old gold mine tunnel with a home made flame torch that went out half way . I mean how dangerous can you get. Oh and the floor of the cave was frozen. Totally staged.

Maybe Peter encountered Bear at the end of the lane and Bear killed him and slept in Peter's skin

'Poor Peter. Last seen walking along a lane in Co Kerry in his old sheepskin coat.'
Now I'm worried. Did we get a close look at that sheep that Bear was mauling?

Poor Peter. Last seen walking along a lane in Co Kerry in his old sheepskin coat. Not sure what happened to him after that...
Bear is like Mr Mears' little brother.
I liked his books (when he climbed Everest and crossed the N.Atlantic in a little boat) but they were written before his TV career.
I watch but I giggle.

Anyway going back to the OP maybe his heading to rurual Ireland and planning on visiting the local drinking a skinful then trying to make his way back to his hedge of choice in the pitch black without being knocked down by a speeding car

I think Bear Grylls bored Peter to death with his monotone delivery.

Yes what did they do with poor Peter?

i did know that but forgot to ask what they did with peter duncan. isn't it a job for life?

He's the Chief Scout you know. (Pointless info emoticon)

I'm just watching it back now. He's in a farmer's field somewhere. Bet all the locals are standing around out of view.

He's nice with no kit on, Budd. Just my type: the lean kind. Mmm.

it must have been very diffucult to get a sheep at the right stage of deadness. maybe they pushed it in?

and if he is always going to keep his pants on then they should be smaller, those trunks must be making his trousers very soggy.

I've never seen him with his kit off

Would it change my mind about him? I find him too disappointingly posh to fancy at the moment

I'd let him sleep in my hedge!

ROFL, I wouldn't either......but DH would DH hates him, but only because I fancy him DH thinks it's cheap and tacky that he gets his kit off all the time.......

......and I laughed....

.....it's not that when Kylies sticking her gold lamed arse in the air is it?!

Would you get him in a bed? Doesn't he sleep in hedges?

I wouldn't kick him outta bed, Guacamole, that's for sure.

Agree expat! He is not too shabby that's for sure! I wouldn't kiss him though, not after seeing what he puts in his mouth - yuck! I so fancy him though, all that action and adventure......swoon.

Saw one recently and his wife and kids were on it and they were all beautiful, a lovely looking little family

I bet he does even when he doesn't need to. Bet he loves playing 'Dare.'

Do you think he'll drink his own piss?

I think he secretly enjoys doing that.

(That should be children - not chin)

I challenge him to survive a long car journey with my chn.

That should be, YES, Mears is superior. Ahem.

No, Mears is superior imho.

Mmmm, Taytos!

THe editing team had a tough old job with that episode.

i only watch it to see him get his kit off .

I think I'll watch it back later. Want to see if I can spot any pubs in the background which he could've nipped into for a Guinness and a packet of tayto crisps.

I just saw a minute or two of it in which he was thinking about climbing down a cliff using an old fishing rope he found on a beach. I thought "ohh ffs" and switched off. It is all so staged and I don't warm to him. He isn't fit to lick Ray Mears's boots!

Not sure Corn.
It's on Channel4 plus 1 atm if you have a strong enough stomach.

Oh no, far too pale and British for my taste.
No bloody wonder with that kind of diet.
<bleurgh>

Did he kill it himself or just find it lying around?

Who cares? He was showing a lot skin there .

Lol, monkey!

Cornsilk - he fashioned some kind of float with it.

I won't tell you what he was eating this week...

Personally, I'd like to see him give survival a go on a sink estate.
Bet he couldn't.
<throws down gauntlet>

I just caught the end of that. Did he blow up a dead sheep?

I dunno, he could probably do a programme in my back garden and find enough danger to make a case for 'survival'. Seriously, it's a jungle out there!

a trip in rural Ireland?

I mean, come on, ffs.

Surely the biggest challenge is getting enough footage without walkers in it?

<bangs palm of hand off forehead>