I have a good relationship on the whole with my 4 dc age 5-11. When I ask them nicely they invariably ignore me but if I get angry and shout they respond straightaway.

They all have to get ready for school, do hw, all the usual things, but I would love it if I did not have to be cross all the time. Don't get me wrong, we do have fun too and laugh and do lots together.

It's not good for me nor them to think their mum is so angry all the time.

Tips please. Are there any mums out there who never ever shout?

I know what you mean. I shout far too much and wish I could float around serenely like the earth mother I aspire to be...

Let's help each other out then.

Task 1: Tomorrow, let's use the 'Disney mother' voice and battle extreme provocation with deep breathing ok?

Message withdrawn

Try whispering what you want them to do and see what happens

I tried that, I just ended up whispering REALLY LOUD

DD will listen to Disney mummy(lol) voice. DSs won't, they have to know I'm really serious before they do as they are asked/hurry up etc.

I hate it too, in fact I have to work myself up into crossness sometimes to get them off their arses motivated.

There are teachers, though, who can take control with just a look, where others are shouting and issuing threats. It must be a presence thing? I want some, whatever it is.

Yes we need advice from the quiet authoritarians.

do you give them consequences?
eg you need to get dressed now or I will have to take you in your pj/
And then take them in their pjs (putting clothes in car to dress in = optional)
Calmly carry out the consequence as if it;s the most normal thing in the world. telling them it was their choice. Don't get riled just carry on I find himming helps a lot/

my spelling sorry!

I have serious worries about mums who never raise their voice to their kids....