to think we're never going to be rid of her

[MumOfBaby]

I've had some bad news, and as unmumsnet as this is (and actually as unme as this is) I need a huge virtual hug as suicide seems appealing at tho mo!

DP and I applied for a mortgage and got it in principle. Went for a house with another estate agents and they did another credit check and said we can't have the house.

Because there is an unpaid loan on DP's record at his ex g/fs address. We've paid off that much of his debt that we didn't even know about this one.

We spoke to the 1st mortgage advisor who said because we'd been accepted through him (with the same building society), he should still be able to get us the mortgage. Is this right? Have we any chance of getting a mortgage?

The other thing is, I've shouted at DP that how can we be together when everything comes back to his ex fiancee (who he was with for 6 years). I'm also disgusted that she will have been receiving letters for him at her address (where he never even lived officially) so she'll know we're in debt. She will definately have opened the letters because she's a nosey cow.

Now DP is upset and thinks I want to split up. I'm just upset everything is always against us and we thought we had this house. Now we're stuck in a 2 up 2 down rented shit hole and I can't stop crying and drinking at tonight.

Please help. And have I been a bitch to DP?

[LadyOfWaffle]

{{hugs}} We had terrible problems with DHs exs debt , still paying it off. Was it in his name?

[MumOfBaby]

His name unfortunately. I think it's their joint debt and I've no idea why it's in her address. Can't see how we're ever going to be able to move forward, and I'm working my arse off for nothing.

[MumOfBaby]

I'm bumping my own post because I need answers. Pouring my heart out at mo.

[PartOfTheHumphreysGroup]

If the mortgage advisor says you can still get the motgage I don't see what the problem is? If you get a definite mortgage offer then I don't see what it's got to do with the estate agent! Never heard of them doing a credit check!

[wotulookinat]

Don't give up on the house - just because one place turns you down, it doesn't mean they all will. BUT remember that it's hard to get a mortgage at the moment. We found what we thought was our dream house last year and couldn't get a mortgage, even though it was only three times my salary. We just had to admit that it wasn't our time for it.
Don't give your DP a hard time over debts with his ex. It's not fair. We all have a past. I went bankrupt when when I had been with DH for nearly a year, with a LOT of debt that I had accrued with my ex.
You will be rid of the ex, and in actual fact you are - it's just the fact that your DP has a past that you can't be rid of, and we all have that.

[SmuttyNuttyTaff]

If you can get a mortgage them its nothing to do with the estate agent as far as i know just the mortgage companies/ lenders.

((hugs to you))

do go give your dp some love and reassurance i'm sure he's not happy about the situation either and possibly feeling quite guily about it all.

[wotulookinat]

Were they seeing if they could get you a mortgage themselves with their own people? If that's the case, don't worry - go with your original offer.

[LadyMuck]

Is the debt still within limits? How old is it?

[PartOfTheHumphreysGroup]

Don't ever give your details to a mortgage advisor who is tied in to an estate agent - they are generally dodgy. You might well not have a problem at all here - don't panic!

[catMandu]

You need to clarify what you mean by you found a house via another estate agent and they did a credit check.

Do you mean that you used the estate agents financial advisor and he applied for another mortgage in principal with the same mortgage company as the original advisor?

[MumOfBaby]

catMandu- yes, that's what I meant. They both applied to Halifax. They accepted the 1st one (a broker, with a higher percentage, but he's been fantastic), and then they declined the one with Halifax estate agent's Mortgage advisor! So she said we can't have the house and she cancelled our surveyor.

So could we just use our original certificate in principle? I don't see why we can't.

[PartOfTheHumphreysGroup]

Exactly - I don't see why not

[catMandu]

I don't see why not either.

[unavailable]

Unless I have missed something, this is your dp's debt, not his ex's.

If so, it is him you should have an issue with, not her - how could she deal with it?

Now that it has been discovered that he has a bad debt, I dont think you will get a mortgage offer from anyone until that debt is sorted.

[bigcometobedeyes]

I think DP should have been more responsible, but if youve been accepted for mortgage then whats the problem? this is good considering everything at moment. Go forward for what you want, tell him you p'd off with this and talk about what it means for your finances if you gonna have to pay it off.

Even though he should of sorted (she sounds like a cow ex g/f for not mentioning it) I am sympathetic as I wasnt very good with money before I met DH and we are still paying my students loans and have consolidated other stuff. Allow for the fact that he may be better with finances now with YOU. C'on you still have mortgage. Tel you angry/sad about this but reasure him if you not planning on splitting with him. My goodness house buying stressful enough!

hth

[5inthebed]

The mortgage market is really bad at the moment, so dont be disheartened. I worked for a bank last year before being made redundant (charming) and I know that at the time, the banks were only allowing high credit scored people to take out mortgages.
Go back to the financial advisor, who can talk to the bank on your behalf, and perhaps get it agreed by the banks mortgage underwriters.

Hope you can buy your house.