AIBU to try and plan IVF around my eldest child's education ?

[KatieDD]

I have a child in year 4 and with the 11+ looming i've been warned that year 5 is the most important for her and therefore it would be better to have a baby in year 6 for her which takes me to 2010.
But I will be 35 am worried I'm decreasing my chances and of course it means the gap between the new baby and my youngest will be 6 years.
Am I thinking about this too much or being sensible, I don't want to scarifices one childs needs for another iyswim.

[misshardbroom]

IMHO, you're thinking about it too much, people cope with all sorts of age gaps, large and small, because whatever you have is normal for you, and you just get on with it.

But then, if you have one when she's in Yr6, it means you'll be juggling the needs of a mobile toddler and a pre-teen needing to do grammar school homework etc. There's never a good time (although this is from the woman who has scarcely a year between each of hers!)

Do you definitely need IVF to have cd2 or is that just planning for the worst case scenario?

[spicemonster]

I don't know why you've had IVF before (am assuming that) but it is a fact that your fertility declines after 35. I wouldn't wait tbh. My sister never managed to conceive again despite repeated attempts at IVF

Your eldest will cope

[monkeymonkeymonkey]

TBH I think that you are being a bit too sensible about this.
In your position I think I would begin IVF as soon as I felt ready, rather than reduce my chances of a wanted child.
I dont think you would be sacrificing your fisrt childs needs.

[2shoesdrippingwithblood]

but if you wait, what about when your eldest has her next lot of exams at 16, you would have a 4/5 year old making noise.
Yanbu but I wouldn't put it off

[KatieDD]

Will definately need IVF he has had a vasectomy and i can afford one shot at it only so i suppose i just want it to be perfect as much as i can control the outcome.
Am 33 now so time is of the essence.

[AbbaFan]

I would just go for it, and what will be will be.

[findtheriver]

Whenever you have a child there will be pros and cons regarding other landmark events in your other children's lives.

Personally I think planning a major decision like this around a child's 11 + exam is putting WAY too much pressure on them - whether spoken or unspoken pressure.