to want to take my son back in a time machine to the Roman era

[cory]

and let him entertain the populace at the Colosseum

and to marry my daughter off presto to some particularly revolting Roman senator (Cato the elder springs to mind)

Story goes as follows (and all rant warnings have now been issued!!!):

we were halfway down the road this morning when dc's revealed that ds was supposed to go in dressed as a Roman because today is Roman day

there was no reason why he could not have sorted this out yesterday when he and dh had the afternoon off because of the strike and I was at work

but being the resourceful person I am I did not want to let ds (or his teacher) down, so I rushed him back to the house to improvise an ancient costume in two minutes flat

what I found was a Russian-type shirt that would do as a tunic if covered by a Celtic cloak (tartan rug) held together by a fibula (his swimming badge). They had been told that Celtic would do, though ds wouldn't accept this.

I then had to run all the way to school pushing a heavy wheelchair, which really is more than my body could take

as we come up towards the school, the path is blocked by a couple of Egyptian queens, as happens on these occasions

in the same breath, I say: 'Excuse me, please', and their father says: 'Move over, love'

at which dd shouts at me for very rudely for saying 'love' to a girl in Year 4 (because of course you're so tremendously grown up when you're 9)

the minute we enter the playground, ds runs off tearing off his cloak revealing silly-looking tunic, I call him back- yes, I was right, the badge has fallen off and is now lost, he can't be bothered to look for it but runs into classroom. And the bloody bell goes before I have a chance to make my feelings known!

ds is now at school wearing a stupid Russian looking tunic with no cloak and teacher will think it is my fault because I am too lazy to find out what people wore 2000 years ago (and btw I happen to be the university Latin teacher)

So where are your jumping-up-and-down emoticons, your kicking-thing-to-bits-emoticons, your banging-your-head-against-the-wall emoticons, your dumping-your-ungrateful-children-at-the-gate-of-the-orphanage emoticons???? Rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, RANT!!!!

And what annoys me most is that they are now safely in the school where I can't get at them and let them know exactly what I think of them. They will come out smiling at 3.20, by which time I will no doubt have forgotten all about it. So all this fine rage will be wasted!!! Come on, folks- is there nobody who feels pain???? Why do we have these ungrateful little beasts? (and more productively...what shall I make them do this afternoon to show me they are sorry...evil smile starts to play around the Cory features)

[stitch]

lol, a few days ago i let dd go to school without her swimming kit because of the way she was behaving. th eidea was that if she behaved litke that and forgot her kit then she would learn the consequence of not being able to do her swimmming.
what do the school do? let her borrow the spare kit [grr.....]