to think that i should be able to eat a bananna/sausage in my own house without dh turning into a randy 15 year old.

(108 Posts)
kerryk Fri 20-Jun-08 17:07:43

i mean ffs, do men ever stop thinking about getting there leg over?

smartiejake Fri 20-Jun-08 21:36:58

Take one large cucumber.

Take one large meat cleaver.

Chop cucumber in vicious manner in front of dp/dh.

Problem solved!

loveverona Fri 20-Jun-08 21:37:14

Yep, getting a little nauseating, no?

Tutter Fri 20-Jun-08 21:37:56

BEAUTIFUL you do make me larf

DoubleBluff Fri 20-Jun-08 21:39:25

K's mum noticing she gets nervous bending over, that has made me laugh!

kerryk Fri 20-Jun-08 21:41:24

acording to dh i have the sexiest way of putting on a pair of knickers hmm

this is usually ay 8-00am when i should have been dressed 20 mins ago and i am trying to pull on a pair of knickers while doing my hair and make-up while getting 2 dd's out the door, and he is bloody running around after me to find out if i have a spare 2 mins to jump back into bloody bed angry

yes i know i should be glad he still finds me attractive, especially since i have put on a fair bit of weight since we met. i just wish he could find me attractive for 30 secs before we go to sleep and see me as a bit of a mutt the rest of the time.

windygalestoday Fri 20-Jun-08 21:44:09

when ds2 was in nursery the nursey teacher approached me ,,,,,,,,,'how does your husband greet you in the morning?' 'pardon?' says i.. well to cut a long story short ds2 was going into nursery every morning slapping his teacher on the arse and saying mornin darlin!!!!.

i too fear one day i will end up in the oven every time i bend over he cops a feel (dh not ds obviously!}

bambi06 Fri 20-Jun-08 21:45:31

how come my dh walks in the door the exact moment im about to get undressed/dressed,etc do they have an inbuilt radar for a naked body... and that also includes walking through the front door ,its not as though he s hovering around the house!!! cucumbers /carrots taken out of the fridge to honestly make a salad...its so annoying!!

DoubleBluff Fri 20-Jun-08 21:46:13

LOL Windy!!
MY DH and Ds's always slap me on the behind when I am washing up...

BEAUTlFUL Fri 20-Jun-08 21:47:21

I'm here naked, eating strawberry Mini Milks.

DH is upstairs doing invoices.

<<breathes into paper bag>>

Tutter Fri 20-Jun-08 21:47:40

lolol

BEAUTlFUL Fri 20-Jun-08 21:57:59

I used to have a BF with an unhealthy interest in me. (I have been attractive, look!) He was always up for having a morning shag, but I couldn't be bothered. Instead, he'd lie behind me, basically wanking off into my back. (Boak.)

So this relationship is a bit of a relief. The freedom to pipe whipped cream into brandy snaps, starkers, is liberating.

kerryk Fri 20-Jun-08 22:00:26

He was always up for having a morning shag, but I couldn't be bothered. Instead, he'd lie behind me, basically wanking off into my back. (Boak.)

i have no idea what that must feel like blushangry

dittany Fri 20-Jun-08 22:01:30

That sounds like a dog shagging your leg Beautiful. Horrible.

This sort of behaviour is not a compliment.

windygalestoday Fri 20-Jun-08 22:02:34

i dunno what it is with early morning shagging??

BEAUTlFUL Fri 20-Jun-08 22:23:13

Maybe this is my fault. Maybe writing "PREP H!! DO NOT FORGET!!" on that last shopping list was a mistake?

Feels sad that she can eat a banana, bend over and generally exist without dp taking a blind bit of notice. The sex drive fairy has obviously missed dp.

And also I would love early morning or any time of the day except bedtime shagging lol.

windygalestoday Fri 20-Jun-08 22:58:54

bedtime shagging is my fave

BEAUTlFUL Fri 20-Jun-08 23:08:10

In real life, my DH actually roused himself to follow me up to bed just now, and say he'd like to "tuck you in", and I said no cos I'd rather Mumsnet.

shock

chefswife Fri 20-Jun-08 23:10:12

i've had the same experiences. right now DH ogles my (what he's calling them to himself and all his friends) big, milky breasts while i climb into bed naked (can't stand wearing anything to bed) then he actually giggles a bit and hides under the covers.

Sobernow Fri 20-Jun-08 23:15:10

windygales - thank you for a great post!

badgermonkey Fri 20-Jun-08 23:15:14

My DH says "hubba hubba" every time he sees me take my top off. We've been together ten years - that's a minimum of 3500 times he's had the chace to see my breasts. It's OK not to comment on them sometimes!

BEAUTlFUL Fri 20-Jun-08 23:22:14

OK, giggling and hiding I can live without.
And he talks to his friends about your boobs?!

Mumooms Fri 20-Jun-08 23:22:38

The sex drive fairy has obviously missed mine too AbstractMouse hmm

Tbh I'd love a bit of innuendo for a change!

But that's probably a whole other thread on its own.

Sobernow Fri 20-Jun-08 23:22:42

Mine slaps my arse as if I am a chambermaid. He also says 'ooh hello!' if I even move my hands bra-wards. And he also says 'while you're down there' if I go to pick something up off the floor.

I honestly hadn't seen myself in a Carry On marriage til now - but it's plain for all to see isn't it?

blush

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