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AIBU?

to be shocked that a toddler in the playground had bright pink arms and was playing in full sun?

21 replies

alicet · 07/05/2008 14:03

So today I was in the park with my 2 boys. Very hot sunny morning. On the roundabout with ds1 (2 and a bit) was a little girl who was a similar age - poss a bit younger. With her mum / carer.

I was totally taken aback to see that she had obviously bright pink arms which were obviously sunburnt and she was still playing in the sun. I very very nearly said to the mum / carer 'Oh I see that she has caught the sun - do you want to borrow some of my suncream?' but didn't - not sure why other than maybe being afraid of her taking offense.

I wish I had said something - actually don't really care if she got upset in many ways but AIBU for being totally shocked that she was being allowed to play in the sun with obvious sunburn uncovered? It's one of the first really sunny days of the year and I don't think it's indefensible to let your child get slightly burnt without realising how strong the sun is but as soon as you noticed it you would cover them up / take them home / into the shade wouldn't you?

OP posts:

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Enid · 07/05/2008 14:04

ok I would think you were mad and interfering if you had said it to me

its not a death sentence to get sunburn

she may have been caught out byt the weather

ScoobyDoo · 07/05/2008 14:07

Oh god here we go, why don't you take a step back & get over yourself ffs.

These sort of threads really annoy me, do you know the circumstances? do you know if the child had suncream put on already? do you know anything about what is going on? No !

meemar · 07/05/2008 14:07

It may not have been actual sunburn - maybe the child got very pink very quickly.

She may have even had suncream on.

I can understand why you may have been concerned, but it could have looked worse than it was IYSWIM.

TheFallenMadonna · 07/05/2008 14:10

It was hot yesterday too, here at least. Perhaps she burnt yesterday and is wearing sunblock today? Perhaps not. Who knows?

CantSleepWontSleep · 07/05/2008 14:10

You can't lock a child indoors just because they've had a bit too much sun on a previous day!

You should have offered your suncream if you had some with you, though the chances are that she had some on already as her mum/carer would have also noticed the sunburn from a previous day.

alicet · 07/05/2008 14:11

I wasn't trying to imply she didn't already have suncream on - of course she might have. Neither am I implying that her mum hadn't taken steps to ensure she was protected ebfore going out - she did have a hat on.

But she was still being allowed to play in full sun with obviously bright pink arms. THAT is the bit I think is out of order. I mean I only glanced at her and noticed - I was hardly staring intently - it must have been obvious to her mum

Wouldn't you take your child out of the sun if this was the case? That's all I'm saying. Not that the mum was bad that it happened - I DID say it would have been easy to be caught out in the OP. Just that she was still in the sun despite this

OP posts:

blinkingthreetimes · 07/05/2008 14:11

I think you are been a little unreasonable.
If you had asked me I would have probably felt terrible and that you were looking down your nose at me (which does come across in your op)

Sometimes these things happen maybe the mum was caught out and was on the way to buy some suncream .

You don't know so please don't judge

alicet · 07/05/2008 14:14

And Enid while it's not a death sentance to get sunburn it does bloody hurt. And by the time you are pink it's often too late. I speak from personal experience.

ScoobyDo perhaps before you rant away and tell me to get over myself you should read the post properly. And consider that you are being much ruder than I might have been without knowing the circumstances either

OP posts:

alicet · 07/05/2008 14:17

blinking I'm sorry it sounds like i'm judging - didn't mean to come accross like that. Just wanted to know if I was reasonable to be a bit shocked. I certainly wasn't looking down my nose at her - if I had offered the suncream it would have been trying to be helpful not condesending.

OP posts:

nettiehay · 07/05/2008 14:20

Skin Cancer is a very serious problem and a lot of the damage is done when you burn as a child/adolescent - not when you are an adult. My DP was diagnosed with melanoma last summer so we are very careful when we are out, even for a short while. Unfortunately there isn't a lot of education regarding skin cancer in the UK (I presume because there isn't that much sun! ) however it is a very serious issue.
Children's skin is also more sensitive than adults, so I think it would have been kind and thoughtful of you to offer some of your sunscreen.
So YANBU

yorkishbirdy · 07/05/2008 14:24

I would have said that, if she had just got burned then she should have been removed, however, if she got burned yesterday then there is no reason why she should not come out today with suncream on. The pinkness may take a few days to go down but there is no reason why she should have to stay in all that time.

Also, you say she was pink, I find painful, proper sunburn is red and yes that hurts, but playing happily with pink arms? I expect she was fine!

Holly29 · 07/05/2008 14:25

Alice,

YANBU! I think I'd have been tempted to ask if she wanted to borrow some sunscreen. Some people are just new to the game? Yesterday afternoon I played in the park with my 7 month old and someone said: "Wouldn't he be more comfy in shorts?" and although I was a tiny bit offended I realised that she was right and that he probably was too hot in his trousers and have now bought 2 pairs of shorts for him... I'm just learning and sometimes it is nice for people to help in a non-interfering way of course!

alicet · 07/05/2008 14:30

OK so it's nice to know that at least SOME of you don't think I was unreasonable! After the initial barrage I was going to go and hide somewhere...

I take the point that I might have sounded like I was having a pop at her mum in my OP - that wasn't the intention but sometimes things don't come accross as they should do they?

I also take the point that she might been a little pink from the day before and be slathered in cream today.

Maybe next time I'll be brave and offer the cream! I certainly agree with nettie about the seriousness of skin cancer which s why I was so shocked really but I accept there may have been a different slant on it

OP posts:

Bedbug · 07/05/2008 14:37

Holly is right! The rest of you are weird. Especially scooby. Why don't you all chill out. Why don't mums chill out in general. Then OP wouldn't have felt uncomfortable about offering to lend her sun cream. Just because someone comments or enquires, doesn't mean they are judging you. It usually means they care. Though, having said that, quite odd that anyone would post this level of trivia anywhere. Or that I'm bothering to answer it. Note to self. Get life.

scottishmummy · 07/05/2008 14:40

i understand your concerns. yes parents should be responsible about potential sun damage

sunburn is indicated in higher morbidity and and propensity to skin cancer, so actually it can be a (delayed) death sentence

PS my lo can look bright pink with eczema on arms so might look like sunburn to unknowing stranger

serendippity · 07/05/2008 14:41

If cream was offered in a nice way with a smile and un-judmenty tone, personaly i would have been happy to have asked. Especialy if i was feeling embarrased because i'd been caught out.
Sunburn can actualy be life threatening if it it is repeated as others have said, there is a risk of skin cancer. Yes exposure to the sun would probably have to be more significant than an afternoon, and yes i doubt very much that this child is going to suffer hugely as a consequence, and i'm also against judging the mum of the sunburnt toddler as we don't know the circumstances BUT i don't think that's the point. Tbh i think the op is getting a bit of unfair hard time!
Apart from anything else, sunburn hurts, i speak from experiance

Alambil · 07/05/2008 14:43

I go pink when I just look out the window - I have to use factor 25/30 for myself let alone DS but ... I have got mild redness (sore too) today.

I didn't think the sun was THAT strong today and didn't cream up before going on a 2 hour dog-walk in a non-shaded park.... I have learned my lesson and will cream up in future!

So, I think it's not a question of being unreasonable, but "these things happen" and the kid was enjoying herself... if you ever saw me you'd think I was burnt but I'm not - I go lobster red then it turns brown but it's never actually burnt.

serendippity · 07/05/2008 14:43

Actualy also wanted to add that pink arms can then turn red and painful if left even longer in the sun..so that fact that they weren't red yet isn't really the issue either.

TurkeyLurkey · 07/05/2008 14:44

My daughter is 5 and a redhead. I smother her in factor 50 and when she plays in the hot sun her arms still go bright red from the heat (it isn't sunburn though).

AphroditeInHerNightie · 07/05/2008 14:47

My kids go bright pink under factor 50, but at the end of the day they haven't burned.
That being said, I also know plenty of people who are shockingly ignorant about the effects of the sun.(Don't even get me started about babies without hats....).
On balance, YANBU.

SaggyOldBagpuss · 07/05/2008 14:48

my dd is a red head too and at 11 she has factor 30 on, this prevents her burning but she still looks pink in the sun, some may even say burnt!!

But imo if the child was quite happily playing she wasn't sunburnt just pink, maybe it did happen yesterday and she was creamed up today.

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