to WANT dh to treat me differently because I'm pregnant?

[soph28]

Does anyone else have this, I know people moan about people acting as though they need be wrapped in cotton wool because they're pregnant BUT I WANT THAT!!!!

Or at least a little, teeny weeny bit of extra care and understanding would be nice.

I am 32wks pg and it's my 3rd. I have a 2 and 1 yr old as well. DH leaves around 8am and gets home around pm most days so I do an 11hour day with lo's on my own, including bath and bedtime. Which is fine but DH always expect me to carry on as normal despite being pg- If I so much as say, 'But I am pregnant', he usually replies along the lines of 'oh I knew you would use that old chestnut again' so now I feel I can't complain AT ALL, EVER that I'm tired or achey or find it hard to empty the bin or sweep under the table etc.

I know I'm having a bit of a rant but I would love it if just once he would say, 'let me cook you a nice dinner, you must be exhausted' or 'it must be really tiring for you at the moment' instead of 'well I'm tired too' or 'you haven't done that much today anyway'

[soph28]

that should be gets home around 7pm

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

I think your rant is very justified. Tell him to pull his finger out - he's being an inconsiderate arse.

[soph28]

DH gave me the choice last night of cooking dinner or ironing his shirts (he would do the other) but ironing his own shirts is the one thing that he has to do (I refuse) and he's been putting it off all weekend. So I said I was too tired to eat anyway (which I was) so he had a sandwich and did his own shirts.

[soph28]

I didn't get it the first time either- now I feel I deserve it MORE!

[soph28]

Oh and BTW the house nearly always tidy, dishwasher done, shopping done and kids ready for bed when he comes home.

[VictorianSqualor]

Not unreasonable at all, just wait til he expects you to be up all night with a baby and then looking after a two year old and a one year old too, then he'll realise exactly how much you did do whilst you were PG.

I think someone on MN (expat maybe?)once made their DP carry around a bag of spuds strapped to their waist to show just how flipping hard it is.

Try that.

[ibblewob]

YANBU AT ALL - you poor thing.

No advice, my DH is pretty good considering, but sometimes I do get the feeling that he's like 'well, you wanted them, what did you expect?' He does really love our kids once they arrive, but I'm definitely more enthusiastic about having them in the first place!

[MrsTittleMouse]

Old chestnut?!?!?!?!?!?!?
What did you do with his balls once you'd ripped them off his body?

[sweetgrapes]

Maybe you need to leave the house messy, dishwashr not loaded, shopping list ready for him and palm the kids off onto him the minute he comes in and collapse in bed.

The fact that you do cope makes him think that you should cope. be one of those moaning groaning delicate dw's for a day or two.

VS... what do you mean 'he'll realise'? He'll just expect her to carry on coping. 2 or 3 what difference does it make? And now the baby is out right? So what's your problem woman?

But you're right on the spud thing. Soph28 pleeez dooo try that out.... It would be real fun. Do it on a sunday and give him all the jobs to do as well. No sitting around watching tv with the spuds.

[soph28]

He's not too bad at doing jobs at the weekend (for a man)!

If I left the house messy etc and went to bed when he came home this is what would happen-

1. he would immediately comment on how messy it was
2. he would tidy all the kids stuff away but leave dishwasher etc. for me
3. he would make himself a cuppa and something to eat whilst leaving the kids to run around hyper- coming into my bedroom and pestering me
4. he would put them to bed
5. he would go on and on for days about how he coped the other night when I just went to bed and it would be used as an excuse for him not doing it for the next 3 nights

There's no way he would wear potatoes!

[theBOD]

he's just worked a 12 hour day, give him a break.

[sophieto]

I think it sounds like you're doing a brilliant job!

You're looking after the kids, he's out earning the money.

Guess it doesn't stop it from being totally exhausting - but it's hard when you're both tired, especially with you being 32 weeks pregnant.

I am 33 weeks preggers, and just do as much as I can.

I now just say 'would you be my hero and take the bins out for me' to the husb, and he usually obliges.

A nice direct order seems to do the job, as he is also tired from being out working all day too.

I have tried the 'but I'm making our baby and I'm exhausted line', but I get much the same response as you!

Today (3 weeks after requesting) the hoovering remains untouched, but I can't do it, so don't - and c'est la vie.

I'd rather say sod it, not get into the argument of who does what and who's more tired, and have a nice snuggle on the sofa and share some wife n husband loving, even if the home as a result is a bit chaotic.

[sweetgrapes]

well then, if spuds won't do, then can you afford any help? A cleaning lady or a baby sitter or someone? Just to give you a chance to get off your feet for a little while? At least till you have the baby and get settled again?

(And yes, you are doing a fantastic job...)

[runningonplenty]

argh i get this - apprantly from DH lips - when I'm pregnant - marathon training - burning candle at both ends to get my self-employed work done (that I continue throughout motherhood and rain or shine!) - i should be able to handle it because it's MY JOB! Granted. Taken. We. For. Are.

[PortAndLemon]

theBOD -- she too has just worked a 12 hour day. And is 32 weeks pregnant, which he isn't (unless I've missed both a major advance in medical science and something in the OP).

1. he would immediately comment on how messy it was

You say "I knew you would use that old chestnut again"

1. he would tidy all the kids stuff away but leave dishwasher etc. for me

So you don't do it.

1. he would make himself a cuppa and something to eat whilst leaving the kids to run around hyper- coming into my bedroom and pestering me

Not sure there's an answer to this one

1. he would put them to bed

Good

1. he would go on and on for days about how he coped the other night when I just went to bed and it would be used as an excuse for him not doing it for the next 3 nights

You say "I knew you would use that old chestnut again" and make him do it the next three nights too.

[mom2latinoboys]

When my sister gets overwhelmed with the house and kids as soon as by bil walks in she grabs her keys and just says "They're all yours" And she leaves.

You should try that one.

[purpleduck]

"that old chestnut"

??

??

[MsHighwater]

Not meaning to be smug or anything but stories like this make me realise how lucky I am. My dh is a better housekeeper than I am (with one or 2 minor exceptions - I dust, he doesn't). Until I stopped on mat leave, he did more housework than I did and he still does quite a lot.

mom2latinoboys' suggestion sounds pretty good to me.