to feel reeeeeeeeeeally angry at dh for being out on the lash again

[lacarte]

rant coming: i've whinged about this before, he's at it again, gone awol when he was supposed to be coming home, called from the pub and said he was leaving in half an hour, then called again clearly still in pub 1.5 hours later. takes him that long to get home. I on the other hand have been in all day - feels like all year actually - with my adorable but demanding dcs. still breastfeeding, still not getting a full night's sleep. and this time it hurts a lot more because yesterday I was in tears on him (and he was being v supportive) over the anniversary of something really sad. and today I still feel fragile and sad about it and am stuck in front of friends with MN to whinge at. he is a lovely guy almost all the time but this is his big fault and it's one i have a real problem with. I begged (tragic I know) him to come home, just tell his colleagues I'm not feeling great and leave. he said he couldn't. now he's not answering the phone.

[SantasElasticKnickers]

poor you
could he be driving at the moment?

[yogimum]

I think he is been very selfish. YANBU.

[cathshuck]

Hi you are not alone. Many times I have been in tears with PND and begged my dh to stay in with me and yet he still goes to the pub. If I ask him to stay in or let me know what time he will be back I am controlling. 8 times out of 10 lovely but ...... Have you tried saying anything to him - I let rip occassionally and then things improve for a bit ie he goes out twice a week instead of 4 times!

[cheeset]

Hi, how often does he go out on the lash?

[lacarte]

sorry didn't realise i'd posted twice on this - internet crashed the first time. he doesn't do it that often but this is the second time in about a month and before that he stayed in on the lash, iyswim.

[micegg]

Oh this is very familiar! Love DH. Great in many ways but nothing gets between him and his social life. I just wnated to say I know exactly where you are coming from. The only piece of advice I can give is to weigh it all up. We all have our faults and if this is his then decide whether its that bad. DH goes out twice a week. Thats alot by my standards. In fact he is out tonight. Fully expect him to roll in drunk in about in an hour, wake me up when I have to get up at 6 and thats assuming DD is not awake at 4 as usual in which case he will selectively not hear her. I have been dead on my feet with flu, battling a new baby or just had some bad news and he still wont come home. I put my foot down to him comandeering every frday night as his and his response is to just go for a "quick drink" which turns into an all nighter. Other than that hes great. Its annoying but could be worse.

[Ubergeekian]

You are not being unreasonable, you are being remarkably tolerant. His behaviour is outrageous.

[TheQueenSPeach]

Lacarte YANBU and I'm amazed at how tolerant micegg is. OK, I pick my battles as carefully as the next person, but twice a week I wouldn't be happy with.
DH goes out every couple of weeks and comes home fairly pssed but I know where he is, I'm not feeling fragile and he answers his phone.

[mumzyof2]

Oh my god! Its like you're me!
This has happened to me quite a few times, in fact dp has been 'banned' from going out unless he can promise he'll be in before 2.30am!
Bless him, hes the sweetest guy ever, but when he goes out, HE GOES OUT!
Its the usual, "Im on my way home" (hours later, hes still in pub, then after a bollocking, wont answer his phone. )
Im sorry, I cant give you any advice on this, as t usually turns into a row when dp doesnt turn up at home until 2.30am, pissed as a fart, just know that you're not alone, as most women have put up with this at some point.
In fact, dp wants to go out this friday, and im dreading it

[lacarte]

glad i'm not the only one. he was really sorry etc the next day but then he said that last time too.