to ask you to help me make dd (10) more cooperative

[moredealsplease]

Dd (10) is driving me mad. Everything she needs to do - from getting dressed, eating breakfast, lunch, tea, putting on shoes and coat, doing homework, to getting to bet I have to ask her repetitively. I start off asking patiently but she will normally not do whatever it is until I have got cross and shouted at her. We cannot carry on like this. I feel constantly wound up by her and feel like I have to tell her off all the time. Ds (12) is no saint but normally does things either straight away or after being told a couple of times which I can cope with. Makes me feel bad as it is normally dd being told off.

[NuffSaidSam]

Stop micromanaging her. Give her a timeframe of upcoming events and let her get herself ready. If she isn't ready then she lives with the consequences.

So, for example, wake her up at 7am and tell her you'll be leaving for school at 8:15am. If she's in her PJ's, then she goes to school in her PJ's or with no breakfast or no shoes. Her choice.

Same with bed. 'We'll be watching/reading/playing XYZ at 8pm, you need to be showered and in your PJ's'. Not ready, no book/TV/game.

[NapQueen]

You need to find her currency. So if she likes tv before school, no tv until she is completely dressed and eaten. Same after school. It doesn't go on for her til she is done with homework/bag prep/chores.

If her currency is tablet time or games, restrict them.