Life in general

[Excelsior1664]

I work DP had stayed at home with our child . We share night duties equally and I tend to do most of our cooking and prepare meals for the child to have during a week. I am often out the house by 7am and normally do more with the child at weekends.

Aibu to ask for a lay in on a Sunday morning ?

I don't allways get this parenting thing right and today forgot part of the child routine and it didn't settle well so had a short nap . I am now being punished with a angry grumpy rage

[keepbreathinginandout]

who is having the angry grumpy rage? your DC or your DP?

[MidnightVelvetthe7th]

One of you have a lie in on Saturday & the other one on Sunday, so you each get one a week :)

[FameNameGameLame]

I don't think your dc is punishing you I think you just mixed up the routine and they are grouchy and tired. A good night rest will sort it.

Don't worry too much one little fuck up isn't so bad - your dp likely makes loads every day that you don't see as you are working.

Try to be a team and have one lie in each over the weekend.

[Excelsior1664]

It not the dc but the dp who is doing the punishing

[Excelsior1664]

And she allready gets a lay in on a Saturday with breakfast in bed and most Sundays I just asked for one Sunday !

[FameNameGameLame]

Why do you do her breakfast in bed on a Sunday? Is she a princess? Why is she punishing you? Is she your mum?

Wow. That's just.... wow.

[FameNameGameLame]

Get her to pull her weight and join the team or LTB!

[MrsTerryPratchett]

YANBU. Well about the lie in.

Weirdly genderless OPs always annoy me but that's my issue.

[Sirzy]

One lie in each seems fair!

[eggyface]

It depends. How old is the child? If,for example your DP is dealing with a colicky miserable baby who can't be put down, and doing all the housework too, she might be more tired than you. It's not unreasonable for you to be doing the cooking when you get home. Otoh if you have a 2 year old who wakes once per night and is chilled out during the day, it would seem odd that she's so tired.

If you're really sharing the night waking it does seem unfair that you never get the lie in. If you're getting equal sleep in the week, lie ins should also be equal.

It seems that you are feeling underappreciated generally. It's a very hard time for you both with little ones. You should speak to DW calmly when youre not tired and say you are doing your best with your child but inevitably bits of the routine are harder to remember for the parent who is out all day- you're just not in it 24/7 so it isn't second nature. In my case i did need my DH to give my head a wobble and remind me that we are the same team.

If she is a struggling first time mum with PND this may not be the best approach though! I think with little children the solution is to just try not to be contemptuous of each other, and sort of be comfortable that nobody gets their needs met for a while.

[BarbaraofSeville]

Weird genderless posts would only be annoying if you're response would be different whether it was the man or the woman who was acting like an entitled twat.

[MrsBobDylan]

Weird genderless posts are weird because the baby gets called 'the child's or 'it' then it's unclear who's having the grump.

My nitpicking aside though yanbu - you need to talk it through together. Don't do breakfast in bed if it's not reciprocated. One weekend lie in each. No shouting over a routine failure.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

They're annoying because it seems that the OP thinks my response would be different. Which means the OP wants advice from people he thinks are prejudiced against men.

It boils down to, "I think you're arseholes but I want advice or sometimes ammunition to annoy my DW with so I'll deign to consult you." Don't think we're equitable? Don't ask here. Ask on the 99% of the rest of the internet that men hold sway.

[FameNameGameLame]

At the risk of also feeling your wrath I think that was unfair. I have witnessed some threads that go different ways depending on the gender of OP. (Not always, there are many that are very fair and considerate to the situation.)

Really annoys me because I want equal rights, not special rights and whenever women become against men then all that has happened is that the tables have turned - and we are no closer to equality.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

It's not quite 'wrath'

[FameNameGameLame]

I've been scared!