To not want to leave early in first week at new job

[JustT]

I'm starting a new job in a few weeks and I've negotiated flexible hours (some days longer and others shorter so I can do some school pickups). DH wants me to leave an hour early to go to something he's been working on with him and the kids during my first week, but on one of the days that I've said would be a longer day! It is something that will be fun for the kids and as he'll be in work mode he won't be able to keep an eye on them so thinks I should just leave early and go with - but I think it will look really bad not to stick to the hours I've said I'd do in my first week - feel like that's when I should be on my best behaviour and trying to prove I can make the flexible working work. AIBU

[fussygalore118]

Oh God don't leave early early!

[fussygalore118]

Not sure why there are two earlies in there lol

[Allthewaves]

I wouldn't in my first wk.

[lastqueenofscotland]

I wouldn't in my first week.

I hardly ever ask now 2 years in

[Hairyfairy01]

You need to stick to the hours you have agreed on, obviously. Unless your taking annual leave but even that would be a bit odd in the first month or so.

[ViolettaValery]

It depends. If the job is something like being on reception or the till I wouldn't, because that's a hassle for them to cover you. If it's just undifferentiated office work and you can make up the extra hour the next day (?) I wouldn't worry about asking. It's a few weeks in advance, it's not like you're landing them with it the day before.

[harderandharder2breathe]

No I wouldn't, not unless an emergency that dh couldn't cover

[MyKingdomForBrie]

Not in your first week. Get your mum or someone to go with DH.

[HappyCamel]

No, not in the first week

[user1471950254]

I wouldn't do it as you didn't know about it when you took the role so I think it gives the wrong impression. Can it be changed to another day or is it a fixed event? If not I would tell your DP you are unable to attend.

[BasicMadeira]

No way at all ever! It would look appalling in the first week (also first month, maybe the first year). It's a fun thing for him and the children so no need for you to be there at all.

[RhiWrites]

As a manager I wouldn't approve you leaving unless for an emergency. I'd be pretty unimpressed with you for even asking to change hours when I'd been so flexible.

[RiverTam]

No, not in your first week, heck, not in your first month or as long as you're on probation.

[MiniCooperLover]

Why does your DH even think it's acceptable to ask you to do this? Does he not want you to work?

[ConvincingLiar]

Don't do it.

[Hellmouth]

I agree with the others. As it is your first week, you want to be on your best behaviour :)

[DragonRojo]

Don't ask. It will look terrible and your manager will think you can't organise your own life

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Both work, and your DH, need to know you take your job seriously. I think a lot of the issues women have is because their work gets a 2nd place badge.

[Nocabbageinmyeye]

No, as a manager this would really annoy me, I think you'd be starting in a very bad foot, especially if you said it was for something fun for the kids

[Candlelight123]

No don't, it would look dreadful, especially as you have negotiated flexibility aside from this.

[sizeofalentil]

Take this with a pinch of salt as I don't know you/your boss etc. but if you're not starting for a few weeks, I don't think it would be that bad to do so. No need to state what it's for, just write a quick email to ask if you could start at x time and finish at x time on that day.

You'll be giving them plenty of notice and if you're prepared to make up that extra hour of time, depending on the job, could be ok? Unless you're working in retail/somewhere else where others would have to pick up the slack.

The main issue though is your DH not valuing your work as much as his. So you might want to put your foot down to stop this becoming an on-going issue.

[Wineandrosesagain]

I really wouldn't do this - your new manager seems to have been very flexible when agreeing your hours and if I were that manager I'd be really disappointed that you wanted to start moving the hours around in your first week. It would make me think that this is indicative of your attitude to work - not great really. I also think the point made by PP about your husband is valid - he needs to understand that your hours have been agreed and you need to stick to them whenever possible (and certainly in the first week!!). Save the additional requests for emergencies only. Does DH think of your job as much less important than his?

[JustT]

Thanks all, I have put my foot down. Think DH doesn't seem to be taking my new job very seriously and said he thought they'd be pleased that I had something fun to go to! I need him to realise that I am taking my new job seriously and he shouldn't be putting his work before mine - plus he was disappointed as he wanted me to be there, but I think he was being totally unreasonable. He may be slowly coming round to the idea that I'm not going!