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AIBU?

AIBU to call myself "single" on this application?

20 replies

Nicebucket · 27/10/2016 11:12

I have a massive dilemma here

I'm filling in a form for my work visa extension and I've been asked to fill in a field for "relationship status"

Now this seems like a straightforward question, but really, it's not!

I am not, nor have I ever been married. I'm not in a legal civil partnership or a long term live in relationship.

I have a boyfriend, but the relationship is only 5 months old and I wouldn't call it very serious just yet. We do love each other but we are still testing the waters. We don't live together, although he did stay at mine for a couple of months on and off when his flat mate was moving out.
But we each have totally separate addresses, bills, leases and finances.
No joint property, rental agreement, mortgage or bank account.

So we are not legally or financially linked in any way.

I would be inclined to therefore put down "single"

I don't want to elaborate on something that isn't serious and might not even last.

The only problem is that this man works in the same firm as I do, and some people in office know we are seeing each other.

I don't want to come across as someone who is lying on a Home Office application but likewise, I don't want to elaborate on something that I am not yet sure of myself!

What shall I do?

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Fanfeck · 27/10/2016 11:13

Definitely single

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SleepyHare · 27/10/2016 11:14

I'm in a long term relationship and I put single, or cohabiting if that's an optional but you're not doing that so I'd say single.

Usually options are single, married, civil partner shipped, widowed. That's it usually isn't it?

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RaingodswithZippos · 27/10/2016 11:14

Your legal marital status is single so I would put that.

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Ninjapie · 27/10/2016 11:14

Put down single.

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TeaPleaseLouise · 27/10/2016 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsMermaid · 27/10/2016 11:16

You are single. If/when you start cohabiting then that's the point when you would start declaring relationship status on application forms etc.

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LikeDylanInTheMovies · 27/10/2016 11:19

What are the options?

Aside from single they are usually:

Married/Civil Partnered
Cohabiting
Widowed
Divorced
Separated

As none of the above apply to you, you are single. As you've surmised the Home Office are interested in whether you are financially or legally linked to someone else, not for the latest gossip on who you are dating at the moment. Save that for Facebook! [Smile]

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Nicebucket · 27/10/2016 11:20

Thank you for your responses!

The application form is a bit weird in that it doesn't list out options. Just asks for the resolution ship status!

But I remember that on the original form I had filled in when I first came to the UK, I had 4 options- married, divorced, civil partnership or single.

None of these apply to me.

Even when my bf did live with me, it was on and off and he didn't pay any bills rent or put his name on my lease. And now we each have entirely separate addresses and finances.

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ReggaeShark · 27/10/2016 11:24

You're dating. Which makes you single IMO.

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Bumbledumb · 27/10/2016 11:25

married, divorced, civil partnership or single. None of these apply to me.

I disagree. Legally you are single. If you break up with your partner tomorrow, you can just walk away. You do not need to apply to a court to end the relationship.

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Nicebucket · 27/10/2016 11:28

Ok that makes sense.

Thank you all!

I'm confident in my decision to put down "single" now

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Nicebucket · 27/10/2016 11:37

I'm hesitant to ask HR because they're notorious gossips. And I don't want to turn this into more of a drama at work than it needs to be.

I'm not happy in dating someone from the same firm (even though we are entirely separate departments, even separate buildings!)

The less people at work that know about this, the better.

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NerrSnerr · 27/10/2016 11:47

You're massively over thinking this- it's just single!

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blitheringbuzzards1234 · 27/10/2016 11:49

You are definitely single.

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GladAllOver · 27/10/2016 12:50

You live on your own at present. That makes you single. Your social or sexual life is no one's business but yours.

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Ketsby · 27/10/2016 12:52

Single. Legal documents don't care if you've 'got a boyfriend'.

If he were to see it and cause a fuss, you'd know he was a tosser. It's like a tosser test!

You sound a bit young and clueless, so yeah, it's just a legal term - you are an unmarried person, you write 'single'. If it only had two possible answers, 'single' or 'married' and you had three kids and a partner of 15 years, you'd still only write 'single', because you're answering the question you're being asked and not elaborating.

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myownprivateidaho · 27/10/2016 13:47

Agree with others that you are single for the purpose of this form! But just fyi, there will be notes to the form explaining how to fill it in. Google the form name/number and "notes".

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FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 27/10/2016 13:49

You are overthinking this.

You are legally single. You have no ties to your boyfriend other than you quite like him.

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Nicebucket · 27/10/2016 18:13

Thanks again all!

To be clear, he recently applied for his citizenship and I found out today that he declared himself as single too.

So I doubt he would be offended by me doing the same Grin

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Me2017 · 27/10/2016 19:00

Sounds like it is single. They ought to define the terms given what different kinds of relationships people can have.
May be there are visa guidance notes available but I doubt they say if you don't live with someone but love them and have sex with them you are counted as having a "partner".

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