To think that physical illness isn't more debilitating than mental illness

maybethedayafter · 2016-10-27 08:11:01

Firstly, there's obviously a scale and I'm not saying all mental illness is more debilitating than all physical illness, I'm just talking about this specific example. My DH is normally supportive and does more than his fair share with housework and the children. But... I have been struggling a lot with PND. I'm taking anti depressants and having CBT, neither of which seem very effective at the moment. Yesterday I had a really rubbish day where I hated myself, that's nothing new but I really, really hated myself. In the evening I was apparently being snappy and he was being snappy back. In the end I told him that I had considered hurting myself, I just want to pain and self-loathing to end. The snapping and bickering continued and I was sitting in floods of tears wondering where my usually loving and compassionate husband had gone. All the while feeding my daughter. Today my husband has got an upset stomach. My mum's due to come over and I said to him is it still okay if she comes and he said "yeah, it'll probably be better because I'm not going to be much help today with the way I'm feeling". Where was my choice yesterday? What about how I felt then? I still had to carry on and look after both children. At one point in the day I sat and stared at my half dressed daughter while I was changing her nappy, completely unable to move or function. I do know how a stomach bug feels and yes, I would want help looking after the children in that situation, but I needed help yesterday too, yet it seems like it couldn't even be considered that I would need help when I'm not physically unwell. Yes. I'm being unreasonable. I just needed to offload somewhere rather than getting annoyed at DH. I'm sorry.

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