to ask what do you do when you and your friends seem to have outgrown each other?

(10 Posts)
CoolToned Sun 09-Oct-16 19:35:05

Do you force it?

Or do you let it be?

thegoodnameshadgone Sun 09-Oct-16 19:40:24

This is happening to me at the moment. I'm just seeing how it goes in the next few weeks. Feels pretty crap though

Asoiaf Sun 09-Oct-16 19:46:14

Spooky. This is very much my issue this weekend ... felt very upset about lack of real communication, more like aquaintances these days despite efforts. I am going to let it be.

SandyY2K Sun 09-Oct-16 19:47:49

I let it go.

DandelionAndBedrock Sun 09-Oct-16 19:49:50

Well if you're my former friend you stop replying to messages, ignore any contributions from me on group messages and hope the person gets the message hmm.

I don't think you can force friendships.

EvansAndThePrince Sun 09-Oct-16 19:50:00

Me too. Finding it really sad sad but letting it go.

crayfish Sun 09-Oct-16 19:59:29

I think you have to let it go. You can't force it. I think a lot of relationships in life have a shelf life, although sometimes we don't know it at the time. I've had friends who were very close and important to me for a couple of years and then we just seen to move on. Sometimes things just run their course.

thegoodnameshadgone Sun 09-Oct-16 20:28:35

Asked them to do things for the last couple of weeks. Always a reason why can't. Then agreed to do something with my daughter and me and made other plans without telling me. For two days running this weekend. I'm done now. Not going to even address it with them i am just done. Like you say you can't force it. I'll just see what happens in the run up to Christmas.

Bagina Sun 09-Oct-16 20:33:28

I think it depends on how long you've been friends for. If it's a long time I would just keep each other on the back burner. There's nothing like having someone in your life who has a link to your past. I see my old best friends as more like cousins; we'll always be there and have that link, but we've not enough in common to be meeting up every week anymore. If it's nothing personal then don't cut them out entirely.

capricorn12 Sun 09-Oct-16 22:01:48

I've just had this experience with my friend of over 35 years. She is done with me and I don't really understand why: nothing has happened , we hadn't had a row, I just turned down a night out as I was already going out that night with someone else (which she knew about beforehand). She obviously feels that I've not been making enough effort with her but had shown no signs of being unhappy with things.
I've just let it go, it's sad but I won't have someone thinking they can monopolize my very scant free time.

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