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AIBU?

Vacancy position- friend

15 replies

Avpixie27 · 19/09/2016 13:45

I have never really had many friends and it has become worse since becoming a mum. I go to a local mum and toddlers group but even though i chat to others i still havent made a friendship. Im starting to get lonely and would just like someone to gossip to about the latest shows or to go to the park with. I see people make friends so easily and instantly have a new bestie, and im sat across the room wishing i could just have someone

OP posts:

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DeathStare · 19/09/2016 13:48

I'll be your friend. Seriously. I'm always happy to have new friends. I can provide references and everything

itsaconundrum · 19/09/2016 13:59

I feel like this too it's just so hard

DeathStare · 19/09/2016 14:08

I'll be your friend too itsaconundrum

pinkieandperkie · 19/09/2016 14:12

I feel like this too

allowlsthinkalot · 19/09/2016 14:13

Where do you live?

AlwaysOldBeforeMyTime · 19/09/2016 14:15

I feel just the same, I try to chat to people at toddler groups and at the school gate and whilst I now have lots of people to say hi to in the street I don't have any I could call friends.

It always seems like others make proper bonds so easily whilst I always feel like an acquaintance not a friend!

Avpixie27 · 19/09/2016 15:28

I live in newport south wales. How about you guys? Im glad its not just me, i watch people meet once and next thing they are arranging shopping trips or coffee days

OP posts:

Bubblebloodypop · 19/09/2016 15:30

Me! Me! Me! Unfortunately I'm several hours away from Wales.

JenLindleyShitMom · 19/09/2016 15:34

Hi Op, I am not in your area but if fancies making new friends in my area there are list of groups on FB that organise regular meet ups. We have a [my are] mums group (where people post local events and things that might interest mums or parents) they meet up weekly at soft play and monthly(ish) for an adults only evening. Also have the attachment parent group, the home education group, running group, crafters group, museum group (for supporters of the local museum). There is always the netmums forum too for local meet ups.

JenLindleyShitMom · 19/09/2016 15:34

Sorry, what I am saying is, Join a load of local groups on Facebook and see what's on and who seems like your kind of people.

SquedgieBeckenheim · 19/09/2016 15:39

I'm the same. I've got a few (2) very good friends from childhood, who don't live close to me. And some acquaintances who live nearby, but ultimately I'm lonely as I don't have a friend nearby who I can make plans with or help me escape the house! I start to think I'm making good progress with people then realise I'm really not.
For me, I think it's my crippling lack of self esteem and deep mistrust of the human race! I wonder if I subconsciously push people away due to my issues and others pick up on that, and so the cycle continues. I want friends, I just don't think I'm worthy of others friendship. Not saying I think it's the same for you!
I live nowhere near you, otherwise I'd put myself forward.

frogsandco · 19/09/2016 17:18

Ugh just typed out a message but I think I deleted it,stupid me. Apologies if it turns up I promise I'm not spammed your thread Pixie! I'm just up the road from you in The 'Bran There were a couple of nice Sure Start groups local to me, would your HV know of any? I always found it easier where there was a led activity (maybe baby massage or music) as I felt much more involved in the group.

RainbowDashian · 19/09/2016 17:19

Op I'm shite at making friends, I talk too quietly and apparently always look terrified (even though I'm not).
I've moved house a lot and never really had friends up until recently but it took me two years to feel settled here and begin to make some.
I joined a group in the evening doing something I really love and have got to know loads of people that way and made three great friends.
I do voluntary work one evening a week which has really helped too.
I make an effort to get to know my kids friends parents. It helps that one of my children is very confident and talks to everyone outgoing.
It's made such a difference! I've gone from being billy no mates to really feeling like I belong here. I did have to go right out of my comfort zone though. I'm naturally quite introverted but actually, so are many of the new friends I have made! Some were just as lonely as me.

SABeeTiger · 19/09/2016 17:40

I was born in Newport but I don't live in south Wales anymore, always happy to chat and visit though!

butterfly990 · 19/09/2016 18:22

I have also found that my friends are mainly foreign. I am Australian and find that the English can be (not all of them) slow to include new friends. They are very social, however if you chat to them for more than 5 minutes I get the impression that they are thinking "look I've done the chit chat why are you still talking to me". It can take a time for a relationship to develop.

The Irish however are wanting to know all about you instantly and before you know it your in their kitchen drinking tea and discussing your great aunt Orla.

I think that you need to keep persevering and before too long you will probably find other people feeling exactly like you and become friends.

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