Money

(8 Posts)
user1474048157 Fri 16-Sep-16 23:41:48

Am struggling how to bring up something with my partner
They've been a bit depressed recently and I'm worried has developed a spending problem
We are married and as I earn more I contribute more to the household running but they are also meant to keep money in savings for our holidays etc
However I've noticed the past few months they are having loads of parcels delivered from online shops clothes etc and left on the side is a credit card bill (this month 3,000) shock they pay out of it with their own money but I'm really worried they are spending out of control and I don't know how to bring it up
The problem is any discussion of money always ends in argument as they feel I'm having a go, when I've tried to discuss this before it always ends in arguments but I'm worried they are have a problem

pinkyredrose Fri 16-Sep-16 23:43:24

They?

ReginaBlitz Fri 16-Sep-16 23:53:02

She means her partner obviously not specifying man/woman.

ReginaBlitz Fri 16-Sep-16 23:53:26

Like I just have shock

JagerPlease Sat 17-Sep-16 00:07:43

Are they able to cover 3000 in one month from their own money? It would certainly seem like a spending problem but I guess it's relative to income/usual expenditure

DamnSkippy Sat 17-Sep-16 00:29:08

They?

The OP is possibly a man who doesn't want to give away the fact that he is a man.

Maybe have a discussion but don't focus on the money side of it? Perhaps start a conversation about all this buying being a bit unusual for them (if it is) and that you're worried that something is wrong. Ask if you can help.

OreoCat Sat 17-Sep-16 06:38:11

I would just assume they didn't want to refer to their partner as he or she as to not identify the whether the partner is male or female, as I don't see how if they said 'she' it would automatically mean a man is posting? It could be, of course.

Anyway OP, I would chat to them and see how they respond. Maybe just make a casual observation about the amount of stuff, they may not realise it's obvious how much more they are buying, and mentioning might help them 'break the illusion' that it's all within normal spending.
Sometimes an external source picking up on it can help the person see it more clearly, if it is a problem. £3000 is a lot for non essential debt IMO, so you're right, could be an indicator that something is wrong.

I would approach it from a worried for them point of view, rather than financial, and see if they respond better.

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