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AIBU?

Can I ask/demand for a hysterectomy

20 replies

MsJamieFraser · 06/09/2016 08:07

Was going to name change, because of the TMI but don't feel I should hide it anymore and why should I feel embarrassed. I think it's part and partial of being a woman!

I'm going for a MRI scan today to see if I have a hole in my bowel, abnormalities to my pelvis area, after years of constantly being given antibiotics for vaginos bacteria, (72 times to be precise) and swobs coming back negative (doctors just assumed due to the symptoms) I finally had enough and asked for a consultant referal,

That was back in October, I've had all the tests and everything has came back normal, (except on going thrush) dh has been tested also and all fine, not even thrush. My big balance is normal also.

However I still have a horrid smell, everyone smells it, I wash twice daily, I change my underwear umpteen times per day, I'm on pesseries, however consultant has advised not to use them and I'm constantly inflamed, I have no vaginal leakage except normal discharge, which gets worse through out the day, I'm not overweight either and don't eat spicy food.

it all started after the birth of ds2 and where I needed an eposimity, and also 3 weeks later reconstructive surgery, if the MRI results show nothing can I ask for a hysterectomy as I'm fed up. I'm fed up of living like this.

We don't want to have any more kids and dh is going for a vasectomy, (waiting for his appointment)

I just want to be normal, and not take extra underwear out with me and a change of clothing as the smell penetrates my clothing.

I was so mortified yesterday and FIL could smell something fishy that I went into dh car and sobbed! I've just had enough!

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MsJamieFraser · 06/09/2016 08:08

Arg, sorry I thought I posted this in health.

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LittleCandle · 06/09/2016 08:20

A hysterectomy will not stop bacterial vaginosis. It is notoriously difficult to treat, and you need to be persistent in asking for help. I don't know what to suggest, I'm afraid, but you can always broach this subject with your doctor/consultant.

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justilou · 06/09/2016 08:40

You poor thing! I can't imagine how hard this must be for you!!! I would definitely start demanding one - if you don't suggest it, they might assume that you are trying to maintain your fertility so you can have another baby. Sounds like you've made up your mind that that's not on the cards. I had a hysterectomy at 34 - following a year of almost continual bleeding after my second childbirth (twins.) I recovered very quickly (as I did after 2 c-sections) and haven't looked back. That was ten years ago and I've never missed my uterus.

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MsJamieFraser · 06/09/2016 08:48

Littlecandle I don't have VB, just the symptoms.

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pontoufle · 06/09/2016 09:07

You can't 'demand' any medical procedures. Certainly you can ask for one and discuss it. It's unlikely to be considered unless there's very good reason to believe it's going to help your symptoms, which at the moment really isn't clear. Wait for the MRI and take things from there - good luck

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Piscivorus · 06/09/2016 09:11

Could it be this

Might be worth asking about it just in case. So sorry you are going through this, it must be horrid
In answer to your question though, it is probably not best to demand a major op that may not solve the problem if they don't know what it is

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sentia · 06/09/2016 09:16

Oh it sounds awful, you poor thing 🙁

I think you need to be really clear (explicitly so) with your doctors about the effect it's having on your quality of life and mental health. Take your DH in to back you up if it helps.

In your circumstances I think it's completely reasonable to want to know what the treatment options are and how quickly they expect to come to a diagnosis and then cure based on diagnostics, including what would lead to the most extreme option of a hysterectomy. It's not neutral for you to just keep waiting around, they should be made aware how desperate you are.

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MsJamieFraser · 06/09/2016 12:53

Well I've had the scan, it was pretty scary tbh, but it's does, they said I should hopefully get the results within 2 weeks.

I know I can't demand, well intact I did demand to get my breasts removed after in going issues with them, however I know that's I can't demand it but I can strongly put my point of view forward. Something needs to be done.

Justilou, don't answer if it's too personal, do you need to take medication now? My mil has hers roughly the same age as yourself and she's now on medication for life. Your not far off my own age also. Sorry you've had to go through this also.

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MsJamieFraser · 06/09/2016 12:55

Sentia, I'm taking dh to my next appointment with the consultant, I just go to shite when I go, I burst out crying when the doctor said she believed me as in the end the GP would just fob me off with antibiotics.

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MsJamieFraser · 06/09/2016 12:57

pis I don't have that condition I've been tested for it, even tho I dont have all the symptoms, but they ruled it out anyway. Mine is just vaginally. (They think is fistular)

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MrsMozart · 06/09/2016 13:01

Don't know if this will help or not, but I'm sure a lady on the programme Embarrassing Bodies had this and they helped her. Can't for the life of me remember what they dis though! Might be worth a search?

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VestalVirgin · 06/09/2016 13:51

You mean your vaginal discharge smells horribly even though the bacteria in there are all as they should be? Or did they just test for one strain of harmful bacteria? The smell has to come from somewhere. Unless it is trimethylaminuria, that is, but that shouldn't cause inflammation.

I assume you already tried taking lactic acid bacteria and probiotics, always using condoms, etc?

As others pointed out, a hysterectomy would probably not help, and removing healthy organs is always a bad idea. But you definitely should try and find a doctor who can help you.

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MsJamieFraser · 06/09/2016 17:30

I've had loads of cultures (sp) and tests done, lots of blood and swob testing, think about 9 hospital appointments and testing on each ones) all came back clear from all that they have tested, blood tests are within range also, can't use condoms as they cause thrush (we have tried all kinds) I take probiotics everyday as well as latic acid even tho it kills my stomach, but I've been given omeprazole to counter act this.

As I said I am stuck, if the MRI comes back fine, I've no idea what else to do. I don't have trime... However you spell it,!its been ruled out.

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phillipp · 06/09/2016 17:47

Hi op, I am sorry you are dealing with this.

Can you explain why you want a hysterectomy? Are you sure that will make a difference?

I am probably missing something obvious, but what happens if it carries on after?

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HyruleWarrior · 06/09/2016 18:13

I had recurring bv. When I first started getting it tests would show I was off balance down there but after a few recurrences the tests would show up as normal even though I was experiencing all of the symptoms. It took going to the right gp in the end who prescibed me treatment for thrush and bv to take at the same time and that stopped it.

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MrsMozart · 06/09/2016 19:06
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pinkdelight · 06/09/2016 19:29

My friend, who is not rich, had to pay for a hysterectomy which she needed due to various horrible hormonal conditions. She was early 40s and like you, didn't want any more DC. Know this is a v different situation, but just mentioning it as it suggests that you can't demand a hysterectomy and get one unless the doctors agree that it's necessary. She felt it was, they didn't. It totally solved her issues and she says it was worth every penny.

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justilou · 06/09/2016 23:31

Hi OP... I don't mind answering your question, it's certainly not too personal. There are two sorts of hysterectomies... Sometimes referred to as "partial" or "full" hysterectomies. A "full" hysterectomy is where the uterus, cervix and ovaries are removed. As ovaries produce hormones, women go into immediate menopause (and get all the symptoms all at once) when they are removed - which is why some need/want/demand medication. I had a "partial" hysterectomy, so I have all of my hormones, but no periods anymore. Can't say that I feel like I'm less of a woman! Hope that clarifies things for you.
I am wondering if you have some kind of a fistula - which is a hole between your vagina and your bladder or anus. If this is the case, a hysterectomy won't help, but they may do surgery to repair the hole. I have a couple of friends who had this problem and it took ages for them to be diagnosed as well.
I also hope your doctor hears your genuine stress over this situation and takes you seriously and you get some kind of relief ASAP!

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IPreferCatstoPeople · 06/09/2016 23:42

Hi OP, I had a full hysterectomy several years ago and I am taking HRT as I was in my early 30's. My GP has advised I will remain on HRT until 'normal' menopause age when I will be weaned off it.
I am not sure wether a hysterectomy is what you need, I don't have any medical knowledge, but if you can get to see the right people you should get to the bottom of it. Good luck xxx

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alfagirl73 · 07/09/2016 22:04

Please think very carefully before asking for a hysterectomy. Based on what you say, I am not convinced that it would be the answer, and it would be awful to go through such a procedure only to still be left with the same problem you had when you started - and also have to go through the recovery from a hysterectomy on top of that.

I had a hysterectomy in my 30's due to a cancer scare; it is by no means a light procedure, the recovery was long and hard. I envy people who have had a hysterectomy and say they recovered quickly.

The initial physical recovery from the procedure for me was about 3-6 months, but the emotional recovery plus my body adjusting afterwards took much much longer (for me it was easily over a year) - and it affects things long after that. I kept my ovaries but I still had a whole host of menopausal symptoms - the hot flushes (I still get them), the moods, post-surgical depression - the works! I don't mean to frighten you from it, it can be very beneficial - but all too often people look at a hysterectomy as a miracle answer to all their female problems, when the reality is that it's no picnic and can cause as many problems as it solves. Yes, it solved my main problem at the time, and yes, it's wonderful not having periods anymore... I certainly don't miss my uterus now, I don't feel like less of a woman, but the recovery was tough and I now have other female problems and general medical problems that were triggered by the hysterectomy.

Just please be sure that a) your womb is the cause of your problems and b) it really is what you want.

Good luck and I hope you get to the bottom of what is going on.

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