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AIBU?

To be annoyed by this (mil related)?

12 replies

2down1togo · 04/09/2016 20:37

AIBU to be annoyed that my MIL has posted more 'I love my grandchildren so much' etc memes on Facebook in the last few months than times she has actually seen her grandchildren???? It's all for show and makes my blood boil...

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MatildaTheCat · 04/09/2016 20:41

I would post a comment saying, do come and see them soon, we haven't seen you since April ( or whatever) and the DC do miss you.

I can't bear people protesting their love for their DC on FB in any shape, surely we all love out families?

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KickAssAngel · 04/09/2016 20:42

not as much as Peter Andre, though, obvs.

But, yeah, that is annoying.

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2down1togo · 04/09/2016 20:48

See Matilda I can't really reply anything like that cos they (mil and Fil) do actually see the kids though very rarely. The last half a dozen times they have seen them it's been at bedtime and for about 20 mins. I'm getting increasingly irritated by the whole thing. I don't doubt that they do love them, but I wish they would actually want to spend some proper time with them rather than just trying to put on a good show.

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chocoLit · 04/09/2016 20:50

Just hide her. My MIL shares fucking EVERYTHING that I put on FB so I swear in most posts because God forbid her church cronies and I hide her from my feed.

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2down1togo · 04/09/2016 21:00

Choco I think I am going to have to do that - either that or leave fb altogether. Tbh it's more that I'm annoyed at the general lack of interest than what she puts on her Fb, but it's the combination of the 2 that's driving me mad...
For example, she was here on tues for literally 5 mins. We were going away on wed night and my 4 yr old was so excited about it. There was no contact from them to ask if we had a good time or anything. Maybe I'm expecting too much, but in comparison my mum called here on tues to give us some spending money, and spent ages talking to dd about it, and then called on Friday to find out how we got on and hear all dd's stories (it was her first time staying in a hotel so she was super excited!)

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Bearfrills · 04/09/2016 21:18

Can you get your DH to have a word with them about it? He doesn't have to turn it into an argument, just casually bring up that all of you would love to see them more often.

Part of the reason we're NC with MIL is to do with her not bothering with the DC (there were other issues too but it played a part). DS1 barely remembers her, DD doesn't remember her at all and DS2 has never even met her. They're at the point now where it would be very difficult for her to re-establish a relationship with them (presuming we lifted the NC) because she's a stranger to them.

I think you definitely need to say something or its going to become a much bigger issue, especially as the DC get older and can potentially start to feel hurt by the lack of interest.

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chocoLit · 04/09/2016 21:23

2down mine sees our DC twice a year yet if you look at her FB page you'd think it was every day.

She doesn't even phone to speak to them. She just phoned DHs mobile after bed time. Dd1 is 13yrs ffs so easily capable of a lovely conversation.

It's just galling but their loss. They brought up SIL's DC and still see them all the time even though they're 21, 19 & 16yrs. On the rare occasions they do come here they spend their time in the shops buying stuff for the other grandkids.

Who can be arsed with that crap

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2down1togo · 04/09/2016 21:26

Thanks bear. I don't really like talking to dh about it too much tbh cos I know he notices and how can it not be hurtful to him? We have a new baby and she literally has no relationship with them at all. They seem like they have just lost interest in their grandchildren, it's like the novelty has worn off. They are the exact same with their other gc, all similar ages to ours, so I know it's nothing personal to us.

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2down1togo · 04/09/2016 21:31

So sad choco, especially when they make a difference between their gc. Hopefully it doesn't upset your children. Luckily ours aren't old enough to notice too much. Though it's really such a superficial relationship, for eg - mil always brings milky buttons or something, (which she hands over at bedtime, ggrrrrrr) to the extent that my 2 yr old makes a beeline for her bag as soon as she appears

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chocoLit · 04/09/2016 21:34

Mine are old enough to notice 2down but it's up to PIL to explain away that one. If they ask why they never see them I now tell them to ask them and smile sweetly.

Honestly just hide/block. If I could work out a way to stop her sharing everything I would but short of 'unfriending' her I don't know how!

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2down1togo · 04/09/2016 21:36

I'm sure there's a way of changing the privacy of your posts so they can't be shared?

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2down1togo · 05/09/2016 08:42

Has anyone else found that their in-laws (or parents) seem to like the idea of being grandparents more than the reality?? We very very rarely use them for babysitting, and in fact now I can't bear the idea of it - certainly not for the baby anyway! I think they would be happy for us to go to visit them all the time, they only live 20 mins away. They very much 'suit themselves' - which I suppose is fair enough, but then why the public display of 'we're such loving grandparents'???