Have you ever been snubbed?

(10 Posts)
bangingmyheadoffabrickwall Sat 03-Sep-16 22:36:41

I found out today that I wasn't invited to a friend's birthday event. It was a: "Oh, *****'s had a birthday event that I wasn't invited to," I didn't get all angry or 'blow up' about it. Initially I was a bit hurt and disappointed that I wasn't thought of to celebrate her day.

It also transpired last night through conversations that the last 6-8 weeks haven't been 'quiet' but a lot has been going on in terms of get-togethers, social evenings, day trips out etc, etc that I wasn't invited to. I really didn't think much of that until I found out about the birthday. I suffer with stress and anxiety and I was having a bit of a hard time with it 2 months ago and asked my friends 'not to forget about me'.

It seems they did. sad

I know I need to move on. I am hurt. This is a 'big group' of friends. I have another friend who was also snubbed in a similar way two months ago. She was furious and unlike me, not afraid to confront them. These 'friends DID lie to her. I was shown screenshots of things they were saying and claiming, and I KNEW they were talking bullshit. My 'snubbed friend' said that they were untrustworthy, liars, back-stabbers (you can probably catch my drift!) At the time, I was just 'careful'. I didn't want to fall out with any of them despite me knowing that they DID lie and do something out of spite against 'snubbed friend'.

So please tell me; how best do I deal with situations like this? I probably already know but need to hear it over and over again!

Arfarfanarf Sat 03-Sep-16 22:46:58

They arent friends.
They did to you what they did to her.
Someone else will be next.
Life is too short for that shit.
What about this other woman. Are you still friends with her?

Thattimeofyearagain Sat 03-Sep-16 22:56:22

Yes I have been. It bloody hurt . Let it go, the're not worth it.

LagunaBubbles Sat 03-Sep-16 22:59:49

Honestly these people aren't true friends.

Shakirawannabe Sat 03-Sep-16 23:00:55

Sounds like a group of bitches not friends, they seem to like to have 1 person left out as some power trip thing.
Ditch them and make real friends

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall Sat 03-Sep-16 23:03:37

I find it odd.

I know I have to 'let go' and move on. I will. it will be hard too as my DC socialises with their DC too. My DC were asking just two days ago where their friends were!

I am friends with 'snubbed friend'. In fact, we have become closer since she had the confrontation. They know I have had them round for a playdate and have met for coffee and TBH we don't actually talk about them BUT I am beginning to wonder if my friendship with 'snubbed friend' has a lot to do with their behaviour.

mummymummums Sat 03-Sep-16 23:06:26

Walk away - it'll be a relief and people like these will always make you feel bad

romanvilla Sat 03-Sep-16 23:06:53

When my DC were little I had a friend with children the same age, we all had a lot of fun together.
Our eldest started school at the same time; hers to a smart prep, mine to the local primary.
Her eldest had a 5th birthday party but mine weren't invited because ' they wouldn't be able to keep up with the prep school kids'.
I haven't spoken to her since.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sat 03-Sep-16 23:07:11

Yes. Hence the reason they're now ex-friends.

Sn0tnose Sun 04-Sep-16 01:09:09

It sounds like your 'friends' are only offering their conditional friendship. If you're feeling fine, on top form and not friendly with anyone they've ousted from the group, then they'll invite you out. If not, they'll exclude you.

Sounds bloody exhausting. Who has the time or energy for that? Nurture your friendship with the snubbed friend and cut these people loose.

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