WIBU Not to bother calling them back

[Kishmish]

Hi, everyone. I have NC for this as some details are pretty identifying but I'm a longtime lurker and don't comment much, it's my first post and I'm putting it in AIBU so be gentle

I'm with quite a big driving school and my instructor and I have decided that I might do better with another instructor as I'm not making as much progress as I should be. Not his fault, something just isn't clicking for me and he thinks I might do better with someone who has a different teaching style, all very amicable.

Anyway he called the woman who runs the school and explained what we wanted to do and the agreement was that she would ring me to arrange a change of instructor. She was supposed to ring me back by Thursday and I was told if I don't hear back then ring my previous instructor and he will chase. It is now Friday and no word.

Now this school have let me down before. The first lesson I booked with them, the instructor didn't show up for the 3pm lesson and despite calling 3 times and being fobbed off with "We don't know where she is, it's your choice whether you want to wait any longer for her." We never did get a call from her or any explanation of why she didn't show. The owner of the school eventually rang me at about 9pm and assigned me to my current instructor.

WIBU to just say fuck it, it's not my job to chase you and just find another instructor? They're obviously not that fussed about keeping business and tbh I don't have a lot of faith left in them now. The one instructor I've actually met and learnt from is a really lovely bloke but we just aren't getting anywhere. I just feel a little guilty jumping ship without even trying to follow it up but then, why should I?

There is a small local school with great reviews that was recommended to me by a friend but it only has 2 instructors, one of whom now has baby twins if you know who I am or where I am now, don't out me so I'm a little worried, maybe groundlessly, about her reliability but she has such a good reputation for teaching struggling pupils that I'm thinking risk it? I work shifts anyway, mostly short ones so rescheduling occasionally isn't a big deal for me as I'm pretty flexible. I'm struggling to find another school that I like the sound of and can actually afford.

So long story...still pretty long actually, sorry about that. What would you all do?

[IHeartKingThistle]

I'd sack them off, they sound crap. And I'd send an email to Head Office to explain why.

Good luck!

[Gazelda]

Do it! You owe them nothing.
Go for the other business. You'll probably find that the lady with twins is very organised and (barring sudden illness) reliable.
Good luck!

[MargotLovedTom]

Just sort out lessons with who you want and don't given it any more thought.

[acasualobserver]

I'm not sure why you're deliberating so much. Give the new driving school a go.

[EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard]

I'd change and think nothing of it so long as you haven't paid anything up front. If you'd messed them around or cancelled at short notice, they'd have charged you for wasted time.

[FeelingSmurfy]

I wouldn't chase them

I do think a different instructor might help you more though, I had one person for one lesson then complained (didn't do basic safety things like changing headrests, and was basically encouraging me to crash in to a car only I refused to keep going!) and got the person who took me through to my test, I was lucky that she taught the way I needed to learn and I have no doubt that it would have taken at least twice as long if it hadnt been her!

I don't learn from being talked at, I need to be shown, I need to do things myself. The lovely woman who taught me had a toy car and a drawing pad and used to draw out parking spaces etc and show you with the toy car so you could see the swing of the car etc from above. She apologised when she first used it as some people think it's childish, but I found it really useful to visualise it from a different perspective and see the swing of the car and where you need to position yourself

Anyway, don't assume it's you struggling, even if he is lovely you may just need a different teaching style, so whoever you get new lessons from go to them with an open mind

[Marmalade85]

Not sure why you bothered to do an AIBU for such a non issue. Choose whoever you want to teach you.

[purplefox]

Such a non-issue.

[Kishmish]

Well I thought it was too Marmalade but when it came up in conversation with a friend she was really and said, I can't believe you aren't even going to ring them. You did say you would, that would really piss me off if I were trying to find you someone else and you pissed off with another school and wasted my time.

So it got me thinking whether or not it was rude to just bugger off without contacting them so I asked opinions. Didn't think there was anything wrong with that?

Also I have a lot of anxiety so to me, little things seem like big things. If you consider it a non-issue/waste of time then just don't comment. I've seen AIBU threads about far lesser things

[shovetheholly]

Change! I really struggled to learn to drive, and changing the school & instructor was the best thing I did. Having someone who is on your wavelength is really important.

[Marmalade85]

Ask for opinions and you shall receive.

[Kishmish]

You don't have to be quite so rude though. I'm only asking. Not like I shackled you to your phone and refused to let you leave until you answered.

Besides the main thing I'm wondering is whether the fact that this other woman has young kids would make her very unreliable? Perfect place to ask is a parenting forum imo.

[Beeziekn33ze]

Try her and find out for yourself.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"Well I thought it was too Marmalade but when it came up in conversation with a friend she was really and said, I can't believe you aren't even going to ring them. You did say you would, that would really piss me off if I were trying to find you someone else and you pissed off with another school and wasted my time."
Well actually , "the agreement was that she would ring me to arrange a change of instructor" - and she hasn't. If it pisses off the woman who failed to ring you, so what? She isn't worried about pissing you off by not ringing you as agreed. And your friend is assuming she has been trying to find you someone else. It ain't necessarily so.

You are right. Your friend needs to get a grip.

[Kishmish]

You're right, Where. Besides it isn't as though she hasn't wasted my time. Thanks everyone who has left helpful comments, you're all right and I won't give it anymore thought. And actually Gazelda you have a good point, I'd imagine she has to be organised with two babies and a business or she'd have a breakdown.

[GabsAlot]

try the other woman

i ha similar problem-first instructor was always late was on her phone during lessons and i had enough

she kicked off when i left her though and iddn t understand why?

anyway unless youve paid up front or singed a contract u dont owe them anything

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

Honestly I think the onus is on them to phone you when they said they would, not for you to have to relentlessly chase them with your money.

Give the other school a go. Coincidentally, my driving instructor had baby twins when I was learning, this was 15 years ago so unlikely to be the same person!

Good luck. My friend swapped instructors a couple of times, when she finally found the one she clicked with everything kind of fell into place and she passed quickly.

[e1y1]

Yes change, if it is not working with that instructor, then you're already wasting money.

Also if you have anxiety, that is going to work against your driving progress anyway, so having an instructor who is more suited to you will pay dividends.

Good luck

[pluck]

If the school doesn't have any of your money on account, by all means change! I think turnover in clients (students) is fairly common in that business.