How to tackle this, without causing body issues.

[Cohen1]

I was unsure whether to post this in the teenage section, but decided to post here for traffic.

So we are currently on a family holiday, since the start of the holiday my son aged 17 has refused to take his shirt off and go in the sea/pool. This is so out of character for him and i am concerned it's preventing him from enjoying the holiday.

Over the last couple of months he has gained a little bit of weight. He is still a healthy weight but is a bit chubbier. I don't think this is a problem, but it is clearly affecting his confidence and his ability to have fun.

Am I to bring this up, discuss healthy ways to lose weight after the holiday. I don't want him to get obsessed and get some sort of eating disorder/poor relationship with food.

Thanks.

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

Are you sure it's a weight issue and he's not had a piercing or tattoo he doesn't want you to see?

Either way, what's his relationship with you and with food normally like, is he a big junk eater? Would he notice if you made healthy changes to all your eating habits, so he didn't feel he was being targeted and then go from there.

For me a holiday means I end up losing weight as I'm enjoying the freedom being able to walk/cycle more gives. Could you suggest an activity like that and see how he reacts?

[Mouikey]

My first thought was tattoo!

[ohidoliketobe]

I thought tattoo as well!
Have you noticed any changes in attitude towards good / fitness at home or is it just the non removal of his top which us causing you concern?

[ohidoliketobe]

food and is.
Bloody phone.

[AgentProvocateur]

I bet its a tattoo. I saw my son's when he came home drunk and fell asleep with his top off

[Scarydinosaurs]

Tattoo. Really hope it's just tattoo!

[Eatthecake]

Tattoo?

I got one about that age and hid from my parents until my Mum saw me walking from the shower in a towel

[ImperialBlether]

I thought tattoo, too! My son's always denied it but I've caught glimpses.

[Idontthinkso1980]

Get him to get fit then he will feel better about his body

[ineedamoreadultieradult]

No idea about body confidence, tattoos etc but DH has some body confidence issues he just wears his t shirt in the pool/sea can you not just suggest that as a way of him still enjoying the holiday.

[Cohen1]

I don't think it's tatoo he's only 17 and I've seen him without his top on. It's in public places like a beach.

[Cohen1]

He doesn't eat junk everyday but he does like his food. He just eats a lot.

[Cohen1]

bump

[FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty]

My 16yo ds also refused to take his top off for most of our holiday. It's quite usual for boys as well as girls to feel self conscious at that age.

Leave him be, do not mention weight gain, just make sure you're giving him a good balance of food and that he's not spending all day cooped up on his Xbox and it will sort itself out without any danger of eating disorders.

If he brings it up then you can have a conversation about health and fitness but not about attractiveness in a weight context.

[BurningBridges]

I would re-post or report and ask to be moved to teenage section; this isn't uncommon in teens of that age, my DD is having similar issues and a friend (older and wiser) told me "whatever you do, don't say anything" - I ignored her, waded in by saying oh dear I am only worried about your health you've gained a little weight and consequently my DD was devastated.

Eventually she decided she did want my help but that was after I'd upset her, I am lucky she still wanted my help to be honest. FeedMe above has good advice too.

[davos]

My Dd put weight on, when she started secondary last year. The food on offer is (nutritionally) crap.

It was obvious she wasn't happy and was very self conscious, so I asked her about that. Why she was was feeling down etc. Rather than saying 'do you feel self conscious because you put weight on?'

It took a bit of encouragement but she told me it was her weight. At which point we agreed a healthy eating plan. She started taking a packed lunch and we talk about food from a health point of view. Never a weight point of view.

[Givemeabone]

Maybe go out and buy him a rash vest?