DH's DM hasn't been in contact with us since June 5th, we asked her if she'd like to come visit us (only lives 30 minutes away) and see the Moses Basket we'd chosen for DS2. She agreed, and even offered to pay a bit of money towards it.
All fine - DH told her he was getting a new phone the next day, that his number would be the same, but he wouldn't have hers, so to just text/ring when she wanted to arrange it.
We've heard nothing since. We rang her house phone a few times, as it's the only number DH could remember, but no answer. She constantly drops in and out of his life and we made the decision last time, that it wasn't up to us to chase her as she shows zero interest in DS, and her visits are generally quite stressful for us all.
Now DHs Dad and Stepmum have been in on and off contact through the pregnancy, we have visited them when we've been invited and I have Stepmum on Facebook (she's a regular poster)
Relationship is okay, no animosity except that DH feels his DF can ignore him and not tell him anything. (Last time we phoned to arrange something, they were sitting on a runway ready to go on holiday for 3 weeks, we didn't have a clue!)
DS has been really sick with his asthma the past month or two, and it's been a real struggle to get out anywhere, I've also had horrendous PGP so can't walk more than a few yards without being in a lot of pain. I'm effectively on bed rest, and all PILs know this. They haven't text/called to ask how any of us are and my induction date is fast approaching.
I know me and DH could have forced contact more the last few months, but we've had so much going on, that we kinda felt they should be the ones to make the effort. It made us realise that the only reason we had a relationship with them was because it was us doing most of the chasing.
So WWYD? They all know the induction date for DS2 (next week 
) do we text them and remind them that they're going to be GP's again? Do we invite them round to see the baby when we're at home? Or still in hospital? Or do we just leave it?
At the minute, DH is feeling quite let down by them, and isn't really wanting to push for contact, I on the other hand, don't want any family arguments.
I just don't want to reach out to them, only to be ignored, as I know that'd hurt DH even more 
AIBU?
WWYD - PIL Visiting Newborn
AsthmaAndAutism · 27/07/2016 20:44
Thank you, pretty much what I thought tbh, I'm just not very good at judging situations. We've had a bit of upheaval on my side of the family too, so it's all bit a crazy.
I updated my Facebook status ( I know!) saying how proud I was of my DS for taking his inhaler so well, and being an excellent little boy whilst in hospital. All my friends wished him well and asked how he was, and if he was excited to be a big brother. StepMum didn't even message/text wondering how he was, even though she posted an update not long after.
I know how childish and ridiculous that sounds, and social media probably ruins more relationships than it's worth, but if she ever sees DS it's plastered over Facebook within minutes 
I know, definitely an unpopular opinion to want to have PIL involved haha
I think it is for the best to just leave it all up to them. Just hoping there's no backlash, I have a feeling that if they were to be left to their own devices, it'd ultimately be my fault in their eyes, if they didn't get to be involved with baby. My DH is fantastic, and we do put up a united front, but I'm not going to say we're going 'NC', just in case they change their minds, he's so upset at the minute (hiding it well) but ultimately he's desperate for them to be more interested
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