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AIBU?

To think DS must of done something at pre-school in the 3/4 months he's been there?

34 replies

AShadowLurkingInTheShadows · 14/07/2016 20:40

I picked DS up from school on Tuesday, everyone was given their folders which contained everything they've done at school in the last term..

I opened ds folder to find his picture that had fallen off his coat peg after 2 weeks of being there and was never put back up, a candle which shows when their birthday is (everyone has one) and a laminated picture of his key worker and him baring all his teeth smiling.

Everyone else in the line is pulling out pictures, drawings, paintings they've done. Their practising of writing there name ect.

He apparently has done none of these things.. In 4 months he's done nothing. Aibu to think this isn't right?

Not sure if it's relevant, however there is only one other kid who has a folder like this and his is even more empty (just the candle, nothing else) they're both going to the same school which isn't the school that everyone else is going to. Everyone else is going to the school attached to the pre-school and some have had siblings go through them.

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Noonesfool · 14/07/2016 20:43

Maybe all his stuff has gone in a transition file to the new school?

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HighwayDragon1 · 14/07/2016 20:43

My guess is that all the other stuff has been sent to the new school. Since both children who are leaving have the same issue.

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AShadowLurkingInTheShadows · 14/07/2016 20:48

Nope nothing has been sent to the new school. They don't send anything to the school. They didn't even go to his transition day because I said he may be 5 minutes late due to being at the opticians but he should be there on time (They had changed the day and the time 3 times before this) apparently it wasn't worth it, they then proceeded to tell the other parent I had 'forgotten'

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SfaOkaySuperFurryAnimals · 14/07/2016 20:49

At my pre-school I pass paperwork to teacher, artwork to parents, he should have a lot more, poor show I'm afraid. Sorry, I would be asking for an explanation, some children do prefer physical play to sitting down writing and drawing. This is where the key worker is accountable, I feel anyway and I'm deputy manager of ours. I would be embarrassed and feel unprofessional to have presented you with that.

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CalleighDoodle · 14/07/2016 20:53

Why has he only been at preschool 3 months?

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Witchend · 14/07/2016 20:54

Thing is that when dd1 went to preschool they would tell them "this is the craft for the day, you will do it." So she had something from every day.

DD2 would choose to do the craft every day anyway.

By the time ds went they had been told by OFSTED that they shouldn't be making it compulsory so he always said "no" and they left it, even after I'd said that I wanted him to do it. So he had nothing to bring home in a year. Oh correction, he did the craft when it was hammering. One thing in a year.

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AShadowLurkingInTheShadows · 14/07/2016 20:56

We moved house, previous preschool was outstanding, I was given loads when he left. He was referred for speech therapy there before we moved, myself and old pre-school told the new pre-school. They've done nothing, haven't chased it up, won't give numbers to, haven't re-referred to the S&L therapy in this town despite saying they would and me reminding ect.

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Voddy4 · 14/07/2016 21:00

I would expect more in there. My dc's folder is full of half finished artwork,he isn't particularly into craft so it's rarely a finished article. Perhaps he is the same and they are only putting In the items he actually completed and anything that was half done was chucked?

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AShadowLurkingInTheShadows · 14/07/2016 21:01

When we're walking to school we always talk about what he's going to do. He always say's he wants' to draw me/dp/dgdad/auntie ect a picture. I tell them he said he wants to do something for so and so and she goes okay we'll get on it and then I pick him up and he says they didn't do it.

Tbh I'm not surprised when I raised some concerns with them before I was responded with "i don't know, I don't know DS very well. I don't play with him" Sad

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AShadowLurkingInTheShadows · 14/07/2016 21:02

voddy everything in the folder was made by the staff not ds

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madein1995 · 14/07/2016 21:03

I work in a private nursery so perhaps different environment but thats quite bad I think. With us, all the special cards/pictures/handprints etc etc they made are done by them all. We get told each month what 6/7 activities we have to do with the children, we make 6/7 charts and when a child has done the activity we tick them off, and if its to go in their file in it goes, if not it goes home in their bag. We make sure every child does every activity, generally its not done on a 'Mildred, Edward and Harold (using random names) come do some painting now' basis, but rather call out who wants to do some painting and then choose 3 children, so the child isnt neccessarily being dragged away to do the activity - but we do make sure they all do it. Only fair on the parents

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woodenmouse · 14/07/2016 21:03

At my son's play group the children are free to do what ever they want apart from circle time and lunch time. All the the children bring out their arts and crafts to show their parents ds1 doesn't. He is not reply into painting etc. He loves being outside, every day his key worker tells me he's been outside all day and although I'd love to see some drawings or the pasta necklaces all the other mum's got the other day I'm just glad he's doing what he loves.

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AShadowLurkingInTheShadows · 14/07/2016 21:09

They don't tell me anything. I actually have no idea what he's done at school because they've never said Hmm

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Spandexpanties · 14/07/2016 21:09

It's perfectly normal for some children to produce lots of art/writing and others to produce nothing. It is not a reflection of a child's ability or intelligence. It simply shows where their interests lie. Your DS would have been doing a ton of other things. Construction, role play etc. These should have been documented by photograph.

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Spandexpanties · 14/07/2016 21:11

What does he do at home? Play wise?

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AShadowLurkingInTheShadows · 14/07/2016 21:17

nothing was documented. I can't see how the whole class have got things apart from the two that coincidently aren't going to the same school as everyone else. It just doesn't sit right. I also fail to see how a laminated selfie with the keyworker is work, it doesn't show what he's done, what they were doing ect.

He draws, colours, plays with me and his brother, we read, bake ect

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Spandexpanties · 14/07/2016 21:19

Why don't you explain to the staff that you were surprised by the empty folder and can they explain what he gets up to

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Spandexpanties · 14/07/2016 21:23

He's only been there 4 months. The best preschools/nurseries have free flow play and some children choose to opt out of formal activities.

If you think the empty folder is suspicious, you need to make enquiries. At present you are thinking the worst.

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DixieNormas · 14/07/2016 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AShadowLurkingInTheShadows · 14/07/2016 21:28

I've asked them, hence how I know nothing is being sent to the school they're "not sure why"

spandex they're not the best pre-school, believe me. I wanted to take him out of the pre-school after his first day, however no other school near me had space.

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SoEverybodyDance · 14/07/2016 21:39

At our nursery my DS didn't do much painting or craft work. He did a lot of creative and imaginative play, but he didn't like sitting down much and mark making. To be honest he is still the same way and he's in year one. If he wants to do the activity he will spend a lot of time on it, if he doesn't, he will do very little. It is frustrating and doesn't fit in with school targets. I have to accept that he needs support to listen and engage with things he doesn't like. It is virtually impossible to get someone to do something they don't want to do, so the only way to get my DS to do something is to make him want to.

However our nursery gave us a thick book of his progress full of pictures showing the things he had learnt, said and done and a three-page sheet demonstrating how he had developed. I could see that he had done a huge amount and grown enormously during that time and was on target in many other areas. Learning is not all about producing drawings and it's a shame that the nursery haven't demonstrated that. I only have experience of one DS and one nursery so I'm sorry I can't judge much.

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Helloitsme88 · 14/07/2016 22:08

Yanbu. In my pre school we have learning journals filled with photos of what the children get up to, cutting sheets, poems and songs we've been learning. We do maths problems and little and big, lots of craft in relation to the topic that term. We relate everything back to the eyfs and the next steps of learning. These folders are my pride and joy and a real treasure for the parent to keep. There are also transition forms and helpful sheets when moving to a new school. End of the school year we take down all displays and it all goes in their trays. I would be fuming. You need to make an appointment to ask about this

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AShadowLurkingInTheShadows · 15/07/2016 10:18

We've just gone for graduation I managed to speak to the manager instead of the keyworker

He has no work because and I quote "he's a boy. Little girls write and draw because that's what they do and little boys don't like to write or draw" when I told her he does at home she said "that's because he's at home" 😡

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DonkeyOaty · 15/07/2016 11:03
Angry
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DonkeyOaty · 15/07/2016 11:07

Low expectations

No aspirations

Reinforced preconceptions

Poor communication

Slovenly approach to tracking progress

Little understanding of child development

Appalling

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