to think my friends Boyf is maybe not being overly honest whilst away

(14 Posts)
poppingblisters Wed 06-Jul-16 23:04:08

Sooo my friends Boyf has just gone away to bali with his mates for partying and has managed to text her once a day regardless of what she replies to him (saying his wifi is so dodgy) and I've noticed every day he's adding a new girl on Facebook. Aibu to have pointed this out to her as I don't think he's as into her as she is with him anymore. They've been together for two years but hit a rough patch recently. She's pretty pissed off at me now...

JeanSeberg Wed 06-Jul-16 23:07:41

What did you hope to achieve by it?

WorraLiberty Wed 06-Jul-16 23:09:52

Is she not friends with him on Facebook herself?

What's your angle here?

beetroot2 Wed 06-Jul-16 23:09:55

Well she's going to be as she doesn't want to be told this. You aren't wrong as such but part of being a good friend is not to wave the obvious in her face and just quietly know whats happening and support the inevitable.

poppingblisters Wed 06-Jul-16 23:13:53

She has been on and off with him for months now and recently he said he doesn't think he wants a relationship with her but kept on saying she loves her and acting like he's never said it and she brought up now that she was worried about him going away. So I said it was a bit strange that he's adding girls on Fb everyday. Anyway getting down to it she intends to put a rent deposit down on a new flat tomorrow while he's away to move closer to him as she has to travel to see him so I hoped maybe she might think twice as is a lot more to rent near him than where she is now and tbh I'm worried she knows maybe she's not doing the right thing but not saying it out loud so I said what I said. I was wrong lol she's now just like ah you shouldn't make me feel worse about this.

poppingblisters Wed 06-Jul-16 23:14:33

Yeah I think I've waved the obvious in her face. I do feel bad I've made her feel worse

Champagneformyrealfriends Wed 06-Jul-16 23:18:28

You'll get told to myob but I'd have done the same as you. I would want to know if it was my partner.

poppingblisters Wed 06-Jul-16 23:24:31

It's only that I asked if she'd heard from him and she said he hasn't got wifi. I don't think she uses fb so much and defo isn't on the other social media he uses that I can see (I knew him before) he's nice enough but I just felt she was going to put this deposit down tomorrow and he gets back next week with a change of heart. She did ask him and he said it was a lot to take in. Then said his wifi wasn't working properly so she didn't hear from him again. And i can see his holiday pics so noticed the many new girl adds on his Fb. And let's just say look just like my friend and there's been no guy adds... Yes I wish I'd mmob now but not sure if I would have been more out of order to just watch her make a rather life changing move without maybe mentioning that he might not be there next week. I do feel bad now though. I have apologised but I'm worried I've pushed her more into getting this new place near him. Is it ok that he adds lots of girls? Someone said to me surely that's ok he's allowed his own friends. I just thought it would've been fair enough if there were guys as well or girls that didn't look just like her.

19lottie82 Thu 07-Jul-16 00:08:32

This has got to be a wind up....... I've not heard the word "Boyf", used since 1996!

pillowaddict Thu 07-Jul-16 00:17:45

Girls being added or not, it's not ok he's lying to her about lack of Wi fi when clearly it's an excuse not to communicate with her. Poi t that out and them apologise if you overstepped commenting/suggesting anything re the friend adds but let her know you're just concerned for her, and hopefully she'll realise you have her best interests.

trafalgargal Thu 07-Jul-16 01:56:03

I'd be very wary of a "friend" who was stalking my bloke on FB and keeping such careful count of his friends.

Odds are if she is in denial then she may decide to shoot the messenger and believe everything he says and wonder why you are so invested in his doings and fall out with you. If/when she tells him what you've been doing cyber stalking him on holiday he may try and get her to sideline you and insist you are trying to cause trouble so if you value your friendship and hope to be there for when the inevitable happens you might want to back off a bit.

poppingblisters Thu 07-Jul-16 04:39:04

Lol it's not a wind up maybe im just old. Ok yes I can see all of this makes sense. You can see friends added as soon as you go on Fb so I just noticed that there were a few. Anyway looks like I wasn't fair doing what I've done. Thanks and hopefully I can try to make things right.

poppingblisters Thu 07-Jul-16 04:44:17

Oh and I wasn't cyber stalking, he never changes his profile pic and he did while he was on holiday so I went on his fb. Like I say he's actually my friend before thy went out but she's a closer friend to me. He isn't a horrible guy just think this is him stringing my friend along and was genuinely thinking I could stop her making a mistake putting her rent deposit down just to live near him but I think i should've just mmob.

poppingblisters Thu 07-Jul-16 04:44:18

Oh and I wasn't cyber stalking, he never changes his profile pic and he did while he was on holiday so I went on his fb. Like I say he's actually my friend before thy went out but she's a closer friend to me. He isn't a horrible guy just think this is him stringing my friend along and was genuinely thinking I could stop her making a mistake putting her rent deposit down just to live near him but I think i should've just mmob.

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