AIBU to be a tad resentful?

OlderWoman · 2016-06-29 15:47:04

Hello, I have been stewing over this for some time and would love some feedback because I'm not sure who I could talk to about this. I'm in my 50's and have 2 adult sons. My DH (not my eldest sons father who this post is about) and I very rarely see my eldest son. He and his wife recently moved about an hour from us. Their new house is 3 mins drive from DIL's parents. Obviously a factor in her moving there but she has never admitted this to me. DIL is a lovely girl and on paper everything you'd want for a son - she's beautifull, kind, very successful and dotes on my son. Although I have told her on many occasions that she shouldn't be doing all the housework and cooking but claims my son doesn't make her do it and she likes to do it herself as she is self employed and mainly works from home. DIL comes from an extremely close family, her parents in my opinion are a bit OTT in how much they spoil her and dote on her but I'm Nitpicking I guess. I have noticed (DIL tends to host Mother's Day, Father's Day and Boxing Day at hers and both parents attend) that she is very relaxed in front of her parents and talks to them as she would do her friends (ie not a formal Relationship). By contrast, our unit is perhaps more formal and I admit I was a bad tempered mum while my sons were growing up and I don't think DILs mum was so perhaps why she and DIL are so close. I noticed at the Father's Day lunch that my son is different around her parents (I don't mean disrespectful) but he acts in the same way he did around his friends at their wedding. Really struck me. They see DILs parents most Sunday's. We rarely see DIL and son. I'm not testing them but they don't get in touch and I know DIL speaks to her mum on the phone daily. I was especially hurt when son told me that he and DIL are having fertility treatment and he hasn't been in touch to let me know how they're getting on and it's not my place to ask him. I sound awful in this post because I love them dearly but I am resentful. Is it normal for the daughters family to come first?! I see on here all the time that things must be 50/50 but that is not the case with us sadly.

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AIBU?

This thread has been deleted

Removing this thread, as we have concerns about the OP.