Baby and weekend lie-ins

[HariboFrenzy]

DH and I have ds, 13 months. He has always been a crap sleeper, due to allergies and reflux which we have only really sorted in the last couple of months.

On the last two weeks he has been sleeping through and in his own room. It's been fantastic! Last weekend we woke early (as usual) bit unusually we were refreshed and energised! So we went out and had a great time, seeing friends and family etc. It was wonderful as usually we are like zombies and too tired to do anything.

Anyway, yesterday ds had his 1 year jabs, and as a result slept terribly. Awake at 11, 1.30 with high temperature and shaking, and again at 4.30. At 7, DH got up and started going on about getting up and going somewhere. I told him I was knackered and my head was banging and he went in a right strop. Complaining that after 1 great weekend it was back to normal, wasting the day, what was he supposed to do with ds etc. I said I only wanted to sleep till 9/9.30, and that we could go out then. His reply was that it would be too late to do anything then so another day wasted. I pointed out that a lot of our friends with babies take it in turns to have a lie in on the weekend and that he could have one tomorrow. He is one of these that once he is awake he is up for the day, but he can go back to sleep if he is very tired.

So apparently IABU for not getting up early after a rough night, but I think he IBU for taking the view that just because he is awake we all need to get up.

Who IBU?

[DownWithThisSortaThing]

No he IBU, there's nothing wrong with letting each other have a lie in at the weekend - it's one of the things that saves mine and DP's sanity. 9am can be a luxurious lie in so you've still got the full day to do stuff.

[babyblabber]

DH lies in on Saturdays, I get Sundays. It used to be til 9.30 when we just had DS. Now we have 3 it's 8.30 but that's still a lie in! If I can't get back to sleep I just mess on my phone in peace!

[SalemSaberhagen]

HIBU.

ijustlost, please don't use that word.

[Nanunanu]

Since when is 9.30 the day wasted?

He gets up feeds and dresses and plays with his son for a bit. You get some sleep. He shouldn't need you to hold his hand for that bit. If you are still asleep and he and son have run out of toys to play with he can take son to park.

Doi 9.45 and only just starting to think of what to do with the day. Dd is playing with her duplo whilst I think. And from sounds of things is having herself a satisfying post breakfast shit. So that gives me something else to do.

It's not about alternating Lie ins if he doesn't want or need one. You'd like one today and there's no reason not to have one.

[dylsmimi]

I think he is bu.
But maybe you need a conversation about it before you go to bed the night before so you can say 'I do want to go out and do X but I really need some sleep. I will lie in till 9 and we can be set and ready to go at 9.30"
Dh and I have lie ins and alternate but need to talk it through first - he sleeps heavily and doesn't hear the dc get up so if we haven't agreed I get up with them both days and end up feeling annoyed about it. I also like to know the weekend has a plan even of that plan is having a lazy day at home. Maybe I am a bit like your dh but if we are going to do something I need to decide beforehand so we WILL do it rather than spend all morning deciding what we are going to do!

[TiredOfSleep]

DH and I strictly alternate lie ins til 8:30/9 at the weekend, unless there something particular we'd like to do that needs us to get up and out. On a rare occasion the one who's got up would go back to bed til 10!

There's no reason why he can't get on with the day and you join in mid-morning.

[IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy]

If he's not interested in having a lie in / sharing the lie ins, what about sharing the night waking? It's hardly surprising that if you dealt with DC in the night that he is then refreshed in the morning!

[HariboFrenzy]

isit I brought ds into our bed so dh was also disturbed. But I breastfed ds back to sleep so was awake more I think

[MyNewBearTotoro]

I am awake in the night with DS (breastfeeding) so DP always gets up early with DD whilst I have a lie-in. Sometimes DS joins me for a lie-in and sometimes he's awake and joins DP and DD.

On the rare occasions where DS has had a really good night (and thus so have I) I get up with the DC and let DP have a lie in.