To think if this punishment is fair?

(27 Posts)
Mommaoftwinsters Wed 08-Jun-16 17:13:37

Hi first time for me posting here but would love some advice. Have 11yr old twin ds and dd who for the most part are pretty good kids besides a bit of lip which I put down to hormones. They have a pretty close friendship group at a small village school of about 5 and have been pretty close as twins since they were born.

A little arguing is to be expected between siblings which I get but other day they really blew it big time literally. The rule in our house is home by 6 on a weekday from clubs or parks whatever bed by 9-9.30. There pretty independent so me and dh give them the freedom and trust that after dinner homework will be done before any screens, phones etc. This has worked out pretty well for the most part and homework is usually only half hour a night anyway.

Other me and dh were watching TV after a particular shitty day at MIL (whole other story for another day) and next thing we hear ds and dd in a screaming match in the games room. Dh gave the kids our old 45 inch TV for there gaming as a Christmas present last year. Ds plays destiny and Fifa, while dds obsessed with Minecraft and Xbox kinetic.

I got up to see what the hell was going on when the power went out. I go in to check on the kids with torch while dh goes to check power box and turns dd was playing Minecraft and it was ds turn to play. She wouldn't get off and ds has gone and tried to rip controller out of her hands only for it to be sent flying into TV and smash it up and short circuit the whole bloody house. 😡

We had to end getting in an electrician for £120 to fix the circuit and to say me and dh are bloody furious is an understatement. They have since both been very contrite and seem pretty sorry over the whole thing but I'm still pretty pissed. Me and dh had a long talk with both of them last night and they both equally owned up to their individual parts in it. We decided that they can use their paper round for the purchase of a new TV plus they both Lost their allowances for a month to pay for the electrician and no xbox for 2 weeks for either of them. They agree this is fair and so do we. Is this a suitable punishment or AIBU?

FeelingSmurfy Wed 08-Jun-16 17:30:50

I think its fair to pay for the electrician but I would just say no TV since they can't respect it, natural consequence of what happened is that they no longer have a TV to use

How long depends on how long it would take to save up, if they had a birthday coming up etc. If they could afford it straight away though I would still make them wait

I would probably say pay half at 11 if they have a paper round (thought that was 13 plus?) so 25% of the cost each

DeathStare Wed 08-Jun-16 18:34:40

Would it not just cause a circuit breaker to trip?

And I didn't know 11 year old could do paper rounds (or even that paper rounds still existed)

BillSykesDog Wed 08-Jun-16 18:38:27

How much do they get paid for their paper rounds and how much do you intend to pay for the new TV? I just have images of them doing their paper round into their 30s to pay for a TV. Otherwise very fair. I might just take half of the paper round money else they get demotivated to do it at all though.

BlueDove Wed 08-Jun-16 18:40:41

You have to be 13 for a paper round here - 11 is too young!

Mommaoftwinsters Wed 08-Jun-16 18:50:14

I'll clarify with the paper round thing. There uncle works for a courier but he has recently been in an accident. They normally go to there aunt/uncles once a week for tea and for a few months they have been helping deliver papers for £15 each only about an hour or two a week.

Floggingmolly Wed 08-Jun-16 18:54:07

A courier has a newspaper round on the side?

Floggingmolly Wed 08-Jun-16 18:55:12

Which pays so well he can sub contract it for 30 quid an hour?

dizzyfucker Wed 08-Jun-16 18:55:59

You think it's fair and so do they.

Who is saying YABU? Or are you just checking to see if people agree? I'm confused

ANiceSliceOfCake Wed 08-Jun-16 18:56:06

Sounds like it was an accident and as they are usually good maybe be a bit more lenient. How about doing stuff round the house, so cleaning windows, car etc?

Why did you need an electrician?

Mommaoftwinsters Wed 08-Jun-16 19:00:55

It's only helping there uncle out while he was injured but then he offered to give them some cash in hand work if you will delivering afew subscription papers. I'm not really sure why this is such an issue though?

popperdoodles Wed 08-Jun-16 19:04:58

I'm a bit concerned about your electrics tbh. In our house it might have tripped the circuit but you just switch it back on again.

Mommaoftwinsters Wed 08-Jun-16 19:05:54

The power socket was blown and needed rewiring according to dh.

MadHattersWineParty Wed 08-Jun-16 19:06:34

Yeah, where's your fusebox op?

StopLookingAtMyAccount Wed 08-Jun-16 19:06:57

I think there must have been something wrong with your electricity for the 'circuit' to need fixing. confused. It sounds a bit peculiar.

Gottagetmoving Wed 08-Jun-16 19:08:45

Yes,..it's a fair punishment. No idea why people are questioning your electrics or the paper round confused
Not sure why you are asking seeing as everyone involved is happy with it.

Witchend Wed 08-Jun-16 19:09:12

It is illegal to use children younger than 13 (14in other jobs) for work even if it's their uncle. He could find himself in difficulties if it came out.
There are regulations as to how many hours /what times they can work etc.

popperdoodles Wed 08-Jun-16 19:10:35

Fair enough. Had similar happened in this house the consequence would have been no TV of their own to use until a replacement could be afforded. I would try and source a second hand one so they didn't have to save for too long but a couple of months without it would help them to understand the value of stuff. The electrician bill was unfortunate but it's not like they deliberately broke the socket.

memyselfandaye Wed 08-Jun-16 19:11:12

I think you're being too harsh, yes they were arguing and tussling, but it's not like the remote was deliberately thrown in a "I'm going to break this tv" kind of way.

Plus you gave them the old tv as a Christmas present, it's not really a great present, moving the tv from the living room to their playroom and calling it a present, not what you asked I know, but my opinion.

RB68 Wed 08-Jun-16 19:25:41

Sorry but they are old enough to know better re arguing and snatching and the potential for damage.

I think its fair enough

Damselindestress Wed 08-Jun-16 19:38:36

What your DS did seems worse than what your DD did to me. She was unfair not to let him on the game but he should just have told you about it. Instead he escalated things by getting physical and grabbing the controller, resulting in it hitting the TV. So it seems a bit unfair that she is being punished the same, for the relatively small infraction of spending longer than agreed on a game and arguing with her brother. But if they are in agreement with the consequences then that's OK.

Mommaoftwinsters Wed 08-Jun-16 19:57:09

Originally I was a little angrier with ds for getting physical but dd though an angel most of the time seems choose a day everynow and then to be a bit of a Madame which I've warned her about a few times and I'm trying to nip in the bud. She tried the innocence act for about 5 mins but after she saw how mad I was confessed to stirring her brother up who had actually been kind enough to give her extra time to finish up her game and eventually Lost patience with her.

Mrspepperami Wed 08-Jun-16 20:30:23

I think it's a bit unfair to start with all the underage workers thing, they are 11 and they have a small paper round it's not like they're working in a factory! Op merely asked if her punishment was acceptable. Not for her abilities as a parent or her choice of Christmas present to be condemned!

Birdsgottafly Wed 08-Jun-16 20:48:58

What was the opinion of the electrician. Was there an underlying fault in your wiring?

If so, the 'bill' should only be the call out charge.

I wouldn't have made my children but their own television, but I would have counted it in with their Birthday/Christmas etc stuff, so, I suppose that works out the same.

No Gaming for two weeks, is a fair punishment.

They are working illegally, but, my DD started paper rounds at 12, she always had a really good work ethic.

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