To find this fellow parent's party etiquette irritating?

(19 Posts)
SouthernComforter Thu 26-May-16 19:46:17

DS has a birthday soon. Until now we've not held proper parties, but this year he's more aware about birthdays so we've booked a venue and I took the invites to DS' nursery earlier this week.

At nursery is quite a new boy - 'T'. He had seemed very keen on DS, making him presents at home. Recently however, DS has started to say that the new boy is 'not my friend'. I can't ascertain exactly why but I think there is a bit of a tug-of-love situation between DS, 'T' and DS' best friend. Anyway, maybe that's by the by.

I picked up DS from nursery today and got given an invitation to T's birthday party - on the same day as my DS' party. His parent/s must have received our invitation and, without replying, written out invitations to many of the same children for a party on the same day.

AIBU to be really irritated by this? It's not particularly on my son's behalf - he'll be happy as long as his beloved grandparents are there. It just puts maybe 8-10 nursery friends/parents in a difficult position while neither son benefits.

All very petty and first world problems so trying not to care, or at least show DS that I mind.

MaidOfStars Thu 26-May-16 19:48:37

How do you know T's invitations weren't written before yours?

Griphook Thu 26-May-16 19:49:27

She might had had it booked already so, but yes it's not very nice. Do you know the mum?

EustachianTube Thu 26-May-16 19:53:47

Is it at exactly the same time, or just the same day? If it's the same day, I know lots of people who would do a circuit of parties with multiple ones on a day with no problem.

SouthernComforter Thu 26-May-16 19:54:30

It's the dad, not the mum. I don't know that the invites weren't written before, but last time I spoke to him I told him the date and he said they hadn't arranged anything for their son yet. It just seems odd, I half said they could do something together and he asked for my number to come back to me about it.

Paulat2112 Thu 26-May-16 19:55:23

Do the times clash?

Gizlotsmum Thu 26-May-16 19:59:37

See I once did this in reception ( worked so didn't do school run) and didn't realise there was a girl in the class who had a birthday the day before my dad's. Luckily the times were slightly different but the other mum was quite hostile and it was a genuine error

Brightnorthernlights Thu 26-May-16 20:02:41

Have I got this right ? You booked your party and gave out invitations, including T. T's mum receives invite then gives out T's invites and his party is the same day? If so seems a bit silly, unless it was booked & she couldn't change it, in which case a courtesy call to explain this would have been polite.

BigMamaFratelli Thu 26-May-16 20:03:21

You're over thinking it. Just sounds like a mistake.

Waltermittythesequel Thu 26-May-16 20:05:42

If there's no time clash then I wouldn't worry about it.

Frrrrrrippery Thu 26-May-16 20:20:16

I'd be really surprised if it was done deliberately. It's much more likely to be a mistake.

John4703 Thu 26-May-16 20:25:20

Can you talk to the other parents and arrange a joint party? That way there is no pressure on anyone to decide which to go to.

abbsismyhero Thu 26-May-16 20:29:34

retract the invites and rearrange for the day before

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn Thu 26-May-16 20:49:17

Considering the dad told you they hadn't organised anything yet, it does seem deliberate. Given they had your invitations before theirs went out, they could have changed them. Hopefully people will respond to the one they had first. That's what I would do.

CheerfulYank Thu 26-May-16 20:51:03

That seems weird if he said they hadn't organized anything.

APlaceOnTheCouch Thu 26-May-16 20:56:17

Maybe the dad didn't know that his DW had organised a party? I could see that happening in our house. We'd chat about the options but depending on when I booked it, I might not tell DH immediately iyswim

Anyway, quite often there are 2 parties on the same day so as long as it's not at the same time, it shouldn't cause any issues.

There could be any number of family reasons for them opting for the same day. Don't take it personally.

WoodleyPixie Thu 26-May-16 21:01:05

It only matters if it's at the same time. Dd is 10 now and we have had a few parties on the same day. Usually though one finishes at say 2 and the next one starts at 3.30.

It's still happening now we have a Saturday in June where there are three parties on the same day. Starting at 11.15 we will be out of the house until 6.30pm at parties.

RubbleBubble00 Thu 26-May-16 21:26:04

Iv been party gazumped for first time this year. Caused me a right panic as we had only invited friends from school. 10 didn't bother to reply but that's another moan

halighhalighaliehaligh Fri 27-May-16 00:19:39

Maybe the dad didn't know something was booked? I can't see why they'd want to purposefully arrange it so some of his friends couldn't come. If the times are different I imagine most children will go to both and if not the ones,who are friendlier with your ds will go to his and vice versa. If the other child is new then more kids will probably want to go to your sons party so I'm not sure why the parents would arrange it that way. It doesn't seem that big a deal really.

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